Heard an amazing message by Craig Groschel last night as I tuned in online to the Hillsong Conference happening in Sydney.
I have to say I am totally blown away.
He talks about the stages that one will be at when being called by God.
1. Spiritual Promtiong (Dae Hanoma ...not sure if this is how you spelt it)
- Which means God gave you a burden to do something for Him
2. Certain uncertainties
- You begin to doubt if you are really cut out for His call
- A lot of doubts, a lot of uncertainties, a lot of lack of confidence....but it is times like these God train our faith, to step out despite of our fears, to the unknown. Even though we only see the next step in front of us, He wants us to trust Him for the final result at the finishing line
3. Predictable Resistance
- The enemy will come to kill steal and destroy whatever ministry you are trying to build.
- BUT it is predictable, because we are to expect all these will happen
4. Uncommon clarity
- At this point, we are so sure that we are called to do this, born for this reason, living for this cause
- So much so, that we do not mind DYING for this very cause. We are totally surrendered to God.
Craig Groschel also mention there are 3 types of leaders:
Type 1: The one who is concern about making NAME...his motivation is "I am good"....and his enemy is "everyone else" -- at a constant competition mode
Type 2: The one who is concern about making a DIFFERENCE ...his motivation is "we are good"....and his enemy is "everyone inside or outside that is different" -- these could speak of churches trying to make an impact in the society. But sometimes we go too overboard, that we begin to think that we are the best, and the way to do church or ministry ONLY way is our way...and because of that, we begin to look down on other churches, building our ministry / church based on what we are against, instead of what we are standing for. We are suppose to build our ministry / church based on what we are standing for (not against).
Type 3: The one who is concern about making a HISTORY....his motivation is "God is the only ONE who is good...I am never good enough"....and enemy is : SATAN -- at this level, a leader will come to uncommon clarity, that is to DIE for the cause he is called to live for. At this point, it is no longer about I me myself or we....but the Kingdom of God.
I am aspired to hit type 3....but I am currently in stage 2 of my call right now....the certain uncertainties. My roommate, Agnes would know the doubting roller coaster I am going through these days (I force her to listen to me every night :P).....I was and am still doubting, what I can do or contribute to the call God has placed in my life on human trafficking. I doubt whether I am fit to be in redeeming roses, safe KL....am I suppose to go anywhere else or stay? I am doubting whether I should take Masters in Counseling or Masters in Clinical psychology. Am I able to study a subject as hard as clinical psychology? Can I do well and pass? It seems like doctor's subject! Seems ideal, but would it be necessary? Am I able to face people who are really literally psychotic in nature? Can I handle?
One of my church members who studied masters told me that if I want to do clinical psychology, going through interventions with people who may not be very responsive, or literally listening to PROBLEMS of life every single day....I need a very, very supportive life partner (she is married, obviously it is a very important factor to consider). Who would be willing to bear burdens, and be encouraging....because the burdens of emotional stress, is not as simple as any other work stress....Psychologists gotta carry other people's problem with themselves every single day. So, the least they need is another extra emotional baggages from husbands (through arguments? quarrels?)....and more love to comfort indicating...you are home, you can relax, you are safe....you can count on me (no stress!)
I guess at this point, I am not looking at whether my life partner would be supportive or not because I do not have one. I know all I can do if I ever go into this field is to really depend on God for all my emotional roller coasters that I may be going through as a psychologists. To depend on Him and go to Him for support....as long as I know this is His will for me...and I am still seeking if this is really it...
In a season of praying and fasting now....hope He gives me His answer soon :) ....I want to step out by faith....move on to the next stage, and finally arrive at the uncommon clarity. Guide me through, Daddy! ....I really won't know what I am good at, or what can I do without You
