my early birthday surprise

Last Sunday was one of the most awesome day I had the entire semester. After a crazy time of spending the many many weeks doing assignments, meetings, etc etc etc....finally....sunday came...and my disciples a week earlier book me on Sunday claiming that they want to bless me me because I have worked so hard as a cell leader.

seriously to me the reason was valid...but a bit weird...out of a sudden wanted to bless me...and wanted me to dress nice nice some more...seemingly like we were all going to a high class restaurant. at that point of time i was a little worried. so i asked them if their building funds are ok and it is ok if they want to bless me i can go to places that are cheaper and etc...

HOWEVER, my beloved intern...cell leader already now...Charis Tan proclaimed: don't worry! we surely know how to budget one! it is only a few of us core members want to bless your heart. just dress your best and we will bring you for a day of fun, ok?!

So the day came...anticipating...wondering where they were bringing me...had an amount of suspect yet unsure about it...i began to dress up nicely...in a yellow dress! Ann and Christy...the two make up queens in the cell group began dolling me up...putting make ups for me.

So looking at my members dressing so prettily and the guys dressing so stylishly...i asked them..."are we going clubbing?"....charis and ann burst into laughter....

Ann: Wah Hazel! we where dare bring you go clubbing? later we get chopped.
Charis: haha....clubbing at 4pm? i step on you, you step on me?
Hazel: =_="""....okk i stop guessing! then Christy? You not joining us? how come you are not dressed?
Christy: Oh...no lor....i have already have appointment with friends to watch movie.
Hazel: Friends ya? Who are they jek?
Christy: (Change topic)....aiya why the curtains keep flying...very bright and hot in here!
Hazel: (suspicious...and think in the heart: going out with another guy? paktor ah? never tell me? hmmmm....)

Anyway, we continued our journey....here is the beginning of the drama they stage up for me...wuah.....salute them...after planning for two weeks (taking the chances while i am busy and not around to plan and plan and plan)....here is the story

you guys ready?

presenting the casts:

Ann Lang - the drama queen


Charis Tan - the great liar



Benjamin Yaep - the "innocent" actor (i will never expect if he lies to me. he is just too honest)

Jireh Tay - the driver

On the way to the "wherever" place in the car....i find the drive quite long....and suddenly we passed Batu Caves!....then i asked:

Hazel: Eh, where are you guys bringing me? bringing me back to Taiping ah?
Charis: Haha...no la...you wait and see la
Ann: We are bringing you to KL
Hazel: Don't bluff me. KL don't pass by Batu Caves wan.
Ann: Using another road ma. the road that pass by Cheras. so we can have more time spent with you!
Charis: Ya Ya!
Jireh: LOL..i think it is good that you cannot recognize road...we are bringing you to sell!! muahahhahaa
Hazel: =_='''' eh so where are we going? Are we going genting?
Jireh: Nola...you wait and see la

then as we drive and drive...then we went up a hill!

Hazel: eh! we are going up genting! i recognize this road!
Ben: nola this is not the way to genting
Hazel: not meh?
Charis: (kept quiet)...eh Jireh why you all going to Genting oh?
Ann: Yalor....(look shock)
Hazel: huh? So this is genting?
Charis: I thought we already plan to go Cameron? We didn't bring sweater leh...thats why we wear like taht cos cameron not that cold. aiyooo
Hazel: you all miscom issit?
Ann: yalar...i thought we going to cameron?ish...
Hazel: LoL...Jireh...are you feeling bad now?
Jireh: huh? why should i?...hahaha..its ok la same wan. there also got restaurant
Charis: But i book a nice restaurant there d! nevermind lah...
Hazel: then how charis?
Charis: I sms to cancel la...
Hazel: (think in the heart: wuah...quite canggih this restaurant can receive sms wan)
Jireh: Hazel....i think you should learn your geography all over again la
Hazel: (don't understand but didn't bother)

as we were talking chatting and driving. Ann suddenly kept quiet.

Ben: Ann, why suddenly so quiet?
Charis: Yalor Ann! are you ok?

Ann turned around with tears on her face...
Hazel: Are you ok!
Ann: (shook her  head)
Hazel: Eh tell me leh...
Ann: (kept quiet)
Hazel: (hand Ann the handphone) ....type for me
Ann: (hesitate and return the phone)....i tell you now
Hazel: (shocked with her opennness to tell in the car)...ok tell me
Ann: Actually last thursday, you remember i can't come to cell group and i told you i was working? i lied to you....
Hazel: (heartbreak)
Ann: There's actually this guy...whom i kinda like....we almost started. i actually went out with him....i knew it was wrong..so at first i rejected him...but in the end i cannot resist. i tried...but he was too good...he was there all the time for me....so we sort of held hands and all...but not yet officially start.
Hazel: (heart sank even more)
Ann: Just now he text me....he said that  his ex-girlfriend wanted to come back to him and they are already together...my friends already warned me about him...but i didn't listen...now he asked me to be his second girlfriend...underground
Hazel: Then what did you answer? what are you going to do?
Ann: I don't know...I need time to think
Hazel: (heart felt like being hammered!..sank into deep silence into the car seat)

so i text Ann
Hazel: too many people. i talk to you later
Ann: ok...sorry hazel
Hazel: talk to you later
Ann: OK

Charis: Actually Hazel. i feel Ann is not the only one with pastoral issue. Linet also. she told me for the next whole month she is not coming to cell group because she is going to prioritize and concentrate on her studies and all...she doesn't want cell group to be a distraction to her
Hazel: (heart shattered)....i will text  her
Charis: Christy also...i think she is seeing someone...secretly
Hazel: (thinks in her heart: how come they want to bring me to Genting and yet give me news that really cause me to be unable to enjoy...)

And i text Linet rebuking her for her wrong priorities. And Linet insisted that she would not be coming. and refused to reply me after that. wuah...immediately i texted shirley boon...too heart broken already.

Nonetheless, in the car that was a deep intensed silence. I was praying to God...i somehow wasn't that convinced that Ann was in love because there was no sign of backsliding and so forth...But i could not take the risk seeing that she did cry. So i was praying in the car...God, whatever it is...my members intended me to have a good time...so i decide i must be happy when i reached up there

As soon as I reached Genting, I changed the mood and became cheerful. According to my members they were shocked that I was not affected. LoL...so Charis said that since we were in the wrong place...they will go hunt for restaurants first while i talk to Ann...

So as I was talking to Ann...counseling her...I noticed she kept smiling...so I wasn't sure if  she was being truthful. I poured out my vision and my disappointment....and before the last closing of the counseling, I asked Ann: Why are you smiling?....Ann turned to me, and dropped a few more tears...wow...i was so confused...anyway, i did not want to take the risk...so i just counseled my heart out....and she ended the counseling with the fact that she learnt her lesson and she wanted to be more accountable and come back...so that was why she opened up to me...

only after that, we realized that she was suppose to act so blur that she didnt want to get out of the relationship to make me feel so so so so sad that all i wanted to do was get home and not enjoy the evening anymore...however...according to Ann...she couldn't do it because she felt her heart sinking seeing my disappointment....(hahahaha :P) so it proves how much she loves me then! :D

so..since the counseling was a success...we moved on together...and go to a nice restaurant to eat....tadaaa: don't know what restaurant is this called. some shaghai thing..

good food! nyiaaahhahaha

the greedy Jireh


and we indulge in some photo taking sessions

hee...i think Ann's camera made me look good :P...

So Ann had been the photographer throughout the night. We had meaningful sharing about spirituality, vision of the church and etc...it was really inspiring, fun and fruitful. Duing the sharing, Ann Lang was busy taking our candid shots...

sharing...

happy listening...Jireh: hmm...i want to be THAT MAN *thinking hard*

Charis: I m so inspired. wush!

another candid shot. the makeup is so deceiving!

LOL..Ann Lang's hasil kerja...

And he ponders...

After sessions of sharing...we decided to take a stroll around Genting. And take some pictures...(took picture with mimer also...where is that pic? hmmm) the intention was to drag the time...and torturing me...by asking me to walk outdoor..in the cold...without sweater and with my four inches heels...boy.....i was like..so desperate to sit down! but tried to be grateful that they were giving their best to spend time with me...little did i know, it was all staged!


Ann's favorite shop. Asked us to take picture with it so much...hmm

LOL i seriously find this  cute

some "ghosts" in the ghost house who asked us to come up...and we in turn ask them to jump down :P oh well..cheeky us

the restaurant that got a little upset when we went up to take picture...didn't know it was a restaurant wert...



and we walk...and we walk

oooo...teddies!!

so my very kind interns deceived me after that that we needed to find a place to sit down...in starbucks. we were in first world hotel..and i insisted that starbucks was in first world...they insisted they wanted to go to another starbucks in highland hotel...so we walked...OUTDOOR...me without a sweater...my goodness....i was shivering crazy....and finally we came back to first world starbucks..and i told them...i told u guys it was in first world...hrmmpph!

And then they bought me some drink and distracted me...when suddenly...tadaa....the rest of my cell members appeared from behind singing birthday song to me...boy i was so touched...but hush...i tried to swallow my tears...hahaha.....i sorta guessed there was something going  on with the excessive calls and smses they were making....however....hahaha..it was still moving for me to see them travelling all the way down...Christy confessed that she did had an apppointment...with jeffrey and eng kim...LOL....hrmmmphh...and charis ann ben and jireh had to confess their sins and repent for lying...tsk tsk tsk

and ofcourse they finally revealed to me that it was impossible that we were going to Cameron since it is in Pahang or near Perak....lol...which was something i was unaware of...no wonder Jireh said i had to go geography lessons.

then there was a session of sharing...whereby they broke to me all the pastoral issues and all the walking around outdoor genting was a sabo for me...and there were heart moving sharing with one another...from each member to me and from me to them -- appreciation time they called it...(got it recorded all on video!) :) and touching moments...cry cry..before we all went back home....lol...sorry guys, i know you intended to make me cry...but i don't cry that easily...however i was still very very moved and touched!

these are the few shots....there were more, but not sent to me yet...will upload once i get it...

the moment we reveal all the sabos!

Clement spoilt our picture

overall it was a blessed time i had with my members. just felt so blessed and loved with all of them coming all the way to celebrate with me...with the help of few drivers of course...thanks to jeffrey, eng kim and clement...

thank you guys for making my birthday memorable ... apart from the pastoral issue sabo! ish ish...hahaha...i still wonder how did Ann made the tears drop...fuh! shud suggest her for drama team...

just four words. really really felt loved  :) will update more pictures once i get hold of it.. still haven't receive the group pictures...

so stay tune for more! :D

goodness...after typing so long forget to click publish! thank God it is still here leaving for church now! caring system seminar tonight :)) see you guys there!

the spark of God's heartbeat

something that really sparks God's heartbeat within me.

i watched these videos way back in 2006. the time when God nudge me real hard to move to the mission world. that was the time, after watching i began crying afraid that i cannot do what God wants me to do. immediately i called my leader. hahaa...but those were the silly days...

something to share and to inspire:


Jim Elliot's story




Rachel Joy's story



because of her death....during her funeral, thousands of people responded to take up her call to continue on carrying her torch on beginning a chain reaction....a man who was watching CNN that night, with a gun on his head, gave his life to Jesus watching her funeral service. Her cousin, Jeff, finally gave his life to Jesus when she died...more than that, she started a totally new ministry motivated  by her six diaries and essay...to change the lives of the teenagers today.


i admit i am not as brave as Jim Elliot or Rachel Joy Scott. they had been martyred for Christ. But i am truly inspired by how they pursue the will of God with just their lives that they do not fear losing their lives for others. Rachel even knew she was going to die as she wrote in the diary...whoa...this is truly the heartbeat of God...someday i wish i can learn to be brave to take up the call of God...i know greater things can still be done! =)

be blessed by the videos.

Joy of a Leader -empowered divine LOVE-

hectic semester...tight schedule....limited resources....restricted jobseeking...therefore, sum the conclusion of the lagging in blog post. =P

nonetheless, this is one of the semesters where i grew the most and more in love with the One above...so this is my recent updates. I personally feel a need to blog this down as a significant event of my life in this season. well the writing style is going to be a little different as I intended to only pour the story before I forget any details...and off to rest my heavy head =P....here it goes

Last week all cell groups are to preach on "Finishing Well"....as I was preparing the sermon, flashbacks upon flashbacks ran through my mind. I was not only brought to the remembrance of how Shirley, my dearest leader picked me up from brokenness....but also to the times when she was teaching us about how being a leader it is not easy as it takes one's willingness to open up a really smelly, rotten, worm-filled can...emptying it with your bare hands and cleaning it up. One question she asked: will you clean up the mess in the lives of the people you lead if you find them all smelly and stinky? do you reject them? or do you take them in and clean them up?

As I was preaching the point on accountability to leaders, apart from the arise and build pledge, I just felt there is a need to address to my cell group members....that I am called as a leader at this point of time, not as a judge, or to be more superior than them....but called to serve, love, shepherd and guide them the best way I know how. As I was preaching this point of the sermon, I reassured my members again and again, that as ugly or unworthy they feel they might be,  I am willing to be the person who does the cleaning, listen to them and help them through. Good or bad, I will still love them. And that in the long race to run, if anyone gets tired, let the whole cell group be their strength, if someone cannot have faith, we will be their faith, if someone cannot run, we hold them hand in hand and run together until we all cross the finishing line....assuring them in good and bad times, season of strength or weaknesses or defeat, leaders are equally interested in all seasons and all times of their lives....the response for both cells were indeed touching to me.

moving on after cell meeting last friday, I met up with a few of my disciples to discuss on some personal issues. One significant feeling I felt throughout the talk was that as I was with them, there was an extraordinary, divine energy and power to just love and nurture, seeing the brokenness and hurts carry deep within for so many years. God was indeed refreshing and amazing. I just knew there and then that the heart and strength to love is not from me as it was at a different level of capacity and faith. Again, with the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I decided to reassure them that I am not just a leader who wants solutions and lives to be set straight, all in all I still care and love them for who they are. And I want the best for their lives. In my spirit, I just felt that these were the words they needed to hear

Eversince, I just felt there is a breakthrough in the atmosphere of the whole discipleship system....after the short discussion we had, the disciples involved began opening up bit by bit of their lives, smses and emails of reports after reports came in over the weekend concerning struggles and needs for breakthroughs from different different cell members - those I have never expected from (usually only my interns and uprising leaders send me reports), my interns are also receiving reports after reports from their disciples wanting to be guided, msn was a great tool for more issues to be tapped in, twitter became a good tool too for prayer requests and keeping touch with me....there was just so much trust and openness these five day (either to me or to one another in the cell). The dynamic took a change. Truly, indeed...just as Shirley had told us over and over again....love conquers all. love covers a multitude of sin...love sets people free, gives people the courage, and even break walls! Love is powerful! = people do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care=
 
I really want to believe with all my heart that we are moving toward the vision and the direction of running the race strong together as a cell, into the realm of faith and unity, supporting one another. my dearest members, if you are reading this, I want you to know how much I am touched by the eagerness to be discipled and accountable, and I am truly honored. Let this be a commitment to fight the good fight until we all reach the finishing line! =))

thank you for your trust. I love you. and I always always pray that this is the one thing that our cell group will never be lacking of...not today, not tomorrow, or in the near and far future...let this be the season we decide to fight together and keep fighting on no matter what happens. Unity stems from trust, trust and love intertwined, are weapons we can use against our enemy. Stay strong together, ok? Don't drop out halfway through the race...!

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! walk not, run this race together. you are not alone =))

I truly thank God that despite such a crazy season with so much hecticness, problems, persecutions and difficulties I faced, I did not lose my joy....He is truly my only strength and source of hope....and I thank God for strengthening and encouraging me through looking at the lives and growth of the people I am close to....one way or another, He always find ways to bless my heart....hee...just love Him so so much...! (*snuggle*)

He is indeed amazing, aye? =))

Hopefully this is an encouragement to someone ...let's strive to be the multi-type, all season, all-type can openers!

Bless you!