My life has been tremendously transformed the past 6 days. I went for a Mission Trip in Myanmar for the past 6 days. To preach and minister in a Transformation Seminar it seems. I prayed and hoped that God will use me to minister to them. Instead, I have been ministered and blessed throughout the trip.
See, many of us didn't know what we were signing up for. We knew it wasn't an ordinary comfortable mission trip, but we never knew what to expect. All I can say is, where we are right now, we are 10,000 times more blessed and we should truly count our blessings.
Myanmar, in this place, the rich gets richer, the poor gets poorer. And what's heartbreaking is, MAJORITY of the population are in poverty. I went through a village sitting on a truck the other day. And all I could see are families, living right in the middle of a slump, families living in homes with just a roof....no walls, families whose kids have nothing to wear, but a torn T-shirt....but no pants. My heart sank. So many to do...but yet so little we can give.
Hearing stories from the medical team (I was in the seminar team), there were children who couldn't even afford shoes or clothes, or proper medication. Children were left on their own playing everywhere, while parents were working. Noone goes to school. Because none can afford it. In Myanmar, children has to pay about RM30 as entry fee to school. RM30.....and yet, none of their parents can afford it. So they were left in the slumps, in the mud, playing waiting for parents to come home, bring food for them. Some children brought their little brothers to see doctor in the medical booth. Upon getting the medication, tell the little brother, don't give your medicine to mama, or papa. Lest they take the medicine away, and sell them for money....:|
What do we have to go through here? Nothing near compare to that. Children haven't even seen BALLOONS, and wanted to chew it, thinking it was food....
At the seminar, we were told by the pastors there....these people who come for seminar, they have to think many many times through, before deciding to come. People in Myanmar live day to day. If you work today, you get money and you can put food on the table for your family. If you do not work, then you live with whatever you have. See, these people who come for the seminar, as they come, they will worry about their family. But many still came. And they came with burdens in their hearts...but HUNGER. True pure hunger....to receive a Word from us. When we shared, preached, we can feel them absorbing as much as they could from us. Truly, we have to give our best. These people sacrifice so much just to be there.
At the time of praise and worship. I teared....many times. Even though everything was in Burmese language, I can understand nothing....but I can feel such purity. Such pure hearts in worshipping God. The presence of God was so amazing. Something that we often take for granted back here in Malaysia, where we are in our comfort zone. We often preach about inconvenience in pursuing God. Coming to church, find your own initiative to come etc. I know some people who wouldn't even think of coming to church if no cars were arranged for them.
In Myanmar.....people COME even knowing they wouldn't have money to survive for the day. Speaking about inconvenience? We are far from it. People worship, and continue worshipping with all their hearts, responded to altar call even when the electricity was cut off halfway through, the weather was scorching hot, everyone was sweating, there was no good sound system.....and yet sometimes, we complain even when we have all these. What does it cost us to worship God? This is true sacrifice of worship. These hearts....so pure....something that we ALL should really learn from.
They are those who would keep going in tough times. Every single altar call, people came running to the altar, crying, wanting God to use them to transform their nation, bring the nation out of poverty, wanting to continue to trust God and make things right with God....So humble, so broken. But for some of us, we know sometimes that it is SO DIFFICULT to walk out to respond to an altar call. In fear of embarrassment, in fear of what others would think....I am so impacted. Young and old......aged and energetic people....noone was better than others. Everyone was that broken.....
See, I preached about "Dying to Self, Living for Christ" that seminar....coming to realize, where all of us are now, we need to die to our self even more than they do. These people are truly Mary...and not Martha
Overall, the whole trip....I have made amazing friends. Friends I have never knew, and great fellowship with people. The truck journey was amazing. Even though under the polluted air, but we realize, simple times like these, away from the hustle and bustle of lives, that is where we can build meaningful friendship. And I learn so much from others. From their preaching, their testimonies... I am just so blessed :)
Last Sunday, we all split to different churches. I went to a church in the slump areas. And during our service, there were some other animisme rituals going on outside. Villagers there are mostly believing in local animisme. They were worshipping a bull. So while we were running the service, the loud sound from outside was overpowering our voices. Nonetheless, the people continued worshipping. After that, I hear from the pastor, if the villagers are unhappy with the service or the Christians in that area (or even a Christian orphanage nearby), they have the rights to close down the service, even the church / orphanage, and drive the people out of the village. So we have to keep a low key....Again....how much does it cost us to stay in a church?
The pastor of this small little church I went to, was from Arakan, West of Myanmar....where people are rather violent over there. Currently seemingly in a war with a neighbouring country. His dad was a milliary Sergeant.
He spoke of a story how he came to Christ. How a Korean Missionary tried reaching out to his people, and almost got stoned and killed. And how the same Korean missionary went to a pagoda to reach out, and the people who recognized him quickly informed the religious leader there. He was caught, dragged down the stairs of the pagoda. While he was being dragged...the same word he kept repeating "Brother, Jesus loves You....Jesus loves You"
I almost teared listening to this. Such dedication of this Korean missionary. When this pastor accepted Christ, his dad beat him up and almost killed him. He vowed never to be a normal christian, but one who will proclaim the good news, the gospel....He really did that. Currently...five churches are about to be established in a dangerous place, where he came from...where people don't receive the gospel easily : Arakan...Such amazing faith.
Myanmar changed my life...strengthen my faith. I never want to live life normally ever again. If there is another chance, I want to go back there. I am so thankful that God put us in the centre of all that He is doing in Myanmar. The pastor who host us, was the pastor who is rallying the nation's pastor to come together to pray and change the nation together. We are so so blessed.
The one thing that hit me in Myanmar was, the moment that I was preaching. I remember many years ago, when I was a baby Christian, I just accepted Jesus....I was in my room...worshipping for hours...and as I was worshipping, I saw myself preaching to 100s of people. That very vision....came to past in Myanmar...as I was preaching to 100s of people. That very moment, God reminded me.....keep walking....I am in His plan crafted for the destiny He has prepared for me. :)
One thing I hope I will always remember. To never take for granted all that we have, never take for granted the presence of God...never doubt that God can use us even here in KL! A lot of time, there is a special grace of God when people go to missions...and they began to realize God can use them to do different thing. That was the same exact feeling I had...when I preached, people were in tears, many came running to the altar, when I prayed, someone cried and sobbed, when I prayed and ministered, someone slain....I felt truly empowered and blessed. But I must always remember the same God that was with me in Myanmar can use me like that too in where I am right now... :)
Most importantly, this trip draw me really much more closer to God. God dealt with some things in my life, and I know God will bring me through more...One significance is, my courage grew....so so much...and my prayer is, I will not just be a Martha....doing so many things for God...but above all...I want to be a Mary...one who walks so so closely with God, that I am sensitive to His move every single day...in my life and the life of others. I yearn for that privilege. And I thank God for this privilege. This honor...
Come to think of it, I was worried financially when I signed up for this trip. i signed up by faith. Coming back, I know I have made the right choice. My faith was ENLARGED. I know this trip will be my best trip for a long long time. Even though I will be going for vacation in Dec to Korea and China....I know, it will never beat this mission trip. I am looking forward to more of what God will be doing in my life for my coming season....
This is something I never want to forget.....never :)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Character
Many things I often discuss with my buddy. Sharon.
His/ her words....how much do they weigh? How deep do they go? How far can it hit? How long do they stay? One word defines it all. Substance.
Build the right things today. Build character. Build substance. Most importantly....walk really closely with God. Character should never be compromised over anything at all.
One of which is about how sometimes a character of a person can outshine the outlook. Whether a good character outshine a plain look, or a bad character outshine a good look.
Whatever it is, character is most important. It is amazing how both of us find that people can actually "sense" or "read" one's character merely by just speaking to him / her.
His/ her words....how much do they weigh? How deep do they go? How far can it hit? How long do they stay? One word defines it all. Substance.
Too many a times, the world is too busy building the many petty things. Career, money, good looks, branded clothes, swift / smooth talking, being prominent. I am not trying to say all these are not important. But truly, all these means nothing....without a good character to sustain them.
Yes, it may be impressive. But never last for long.
A good character always surpass other things.
One way a Christian can build good, attractive, substantial character...is by walking really close to God. :)
Success is not everything, because without character, success is nothing.
Character is one that will sustain every success in every area of your life.
Build the right things today. Build character. Build substance. Most importantly....walk really closely with God. Character should never be compromised over anything at all.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The Honor is MINE
Just finished a HOD meeting with Abel (representing choir as Faith could not make it)
Even though nothing much related with Abel's sharing, but certain parts of it got me thinking.
Even though nothing much related with Abel's sharing, but certain parts of it got me thinking.
I have signed up for many trips this year. NONE of it I have regretted. Myanmar, Korea, Chengdu...all of it makes me feel so so so so excited. I am so thankful for people around me who constantly challenge me to go trips with them, to experience the world while I am still young, without kids running around me. Hehe.
I realized, that even though I do not regret signing up, and in fact am very excited...as human I can't escape from getting worried if I can financially pull through. Will I raise / save enough?
But today, I suddenly am reminded why these trips are so important to me:
1. I have the opportunity to go reflect my Father's heart in Myanmar. To raise money to go be part of this meaningful expedition. Even though it requires sacrifice, but it is truly worth it.
2. I have the opportunity to spend amazing time with my family and loved ones OVERSEAS!!! :D
3. I have the opportunity to worry about raising fund for MISSIONS, when others have to worry about raising enough funds to feed their family. :))
Even when I get worried, I am never without peace that I wouldn't have enough to go. In fact, I know somehow or other, God will provide just enough for me to make it. I am really really blessed to be honest. God has always provided for me somehow or other. And it has been proven true time after time after time.
Most importantly, I just find an amazing meaning to NOT being rich, but still be able to give. NOT rich, yet still be able to live life to the fullest. Well, I am a "big" girl now. I can fund myself without asking money from parents. Can do budgeting and plan financially some more. haha!
Honestly, I come from a well-to-do family, and it is not difficult to just go back to daddy for more finances if I need more. Daddy will always want to provide for his little girl. But, when I do all of this on my own, the sacrifices brings a whole new meaning. I become really grateful for many little things. When I go mission, I will always remember, that it is not that I DESERVE to be given the best hosting experience since I am going for mission, but I will remember that I am HONORED to be given the best experience. And the best experience can be anything.
I don't deserve anything. Going to mission is not God's privilege, it is MY PRIVILEGE. Going for vacation is not what I deserve. It is MY PRIVILEGE. And even for 10 20 30 years down the road, I will never want to FORGET what it means to sacrifice so that I can go mission and bless someone.To sacrifice so that I can spend quality time with the most important people in my life.
This is the Father's heart. This is MY Father's heart.
For this experience, I will always always be grateful. Thank You for the privilege, God. The Honor...is always mine. Thank You for ALWAYS ALWAYS giving me new insights and revelation in life.
:))
Monday, September 10, 2012
More of God
Something I learned recently. People Ministry....is really not easy.
The moment I told God I want to focus on People Ministry, many people began approaching me with struggles in life. It is a privilege to be honest. Felt trusted. With that, I must be careful with each and every person.
I have taken years to learn how to not be emotionally affected by pastoral issues. Sometimes angered sometimes sad, sometimes heartbreak. I still feel them, but I do not let them bog me down and affect my whole day. I will just give my best to counsel. If it works, hallelujah. If not, I move on and stop feeling disappointed that people do not meet expectations.
But recently I realize, even so, people ministry is very different. People ministry is a heart ministry. We need to use a lot of our heart....which sums up to our ear, our time, and emotional energy. Energy used to work do not drain as fast as energy used to care and love. LOL. Simply because, results are reflected immediately after a work is done. In people ministry, processes are necessary and the result may take years to form. Patience and love are two very necessary elements.
Doesn't mean I am giving up, but it is at this season, I realize....I need more of God. No wonder we need to love others with the love of God (just as how Christ loved us), because our love alone is really not enough. The more we do for God, the closer we need to be with Him. Otherwise, we will be drained of energy, strength and love. Then we eventually give up.
Keep going by all means. But never leave God out of the picture in every single step. The more you do, the more time you need to spend with God :)
The moment I told God I want to focus on People Ministry, many people began approaching me with struggles in life. It is a privilege to be honest. Felt trusted. With that, I must be careful with each and every person.
I have taken years to learn how to not be emotionally affected by pastoral issues. Sometimes angered sometimes sad, sometimes heartbreak. I still feel them, but I do not let them bog me down and affect my whole day. I will just give my best to counsel. If it works, hallelujah. If not, I move on and stop feeling disappointed that people do not meet expectations.
But recently I realize, even so, people ministry is very different. People ministry is a heart ministry. We need to use a lot of our heart....which sums up to our ear, our time, and emotional energy. Energy used to work do not drain as fast as energy used to care and love. LOL. Simply because, results are reflected immediately after a work is done. In people ministry, processes are necessary and the result may take years to form. Patience and love are two very necessary elements.
Doesn't mean I am giving up, but it is at this season, I realize....I need more of God. No wonder we need to love others with the love of God (just as how Christ loved us), because our love alone is really not enough. The more we do for God, the closer we need to be with Him. Otherwise, we will be drained of energy, strength and love. Then we eventually give up.
Keep going by all means. But never leave God out of the picture in every single step. The more you do, the more time you need to spend with God :)
Monday, September 3, 2012
Will you share some?
Emerge 2012 is totally mind blowing. It is not only the EVENTS I am commenting about. But the spirit, everything behind it. It was totally life-changing for me.
A great build up from Pastor Bill Wilson.
Last night was significant for me, and I want to remember this for life. On Sunday I rallied all my members to come, because I want them to understand that it could be the last time we could hear from Pastor Kong himself in person. We are prepared to embrace the worst. But my trust is still with him. He is family to us, and we love him with all our hearts.
So many came. Some cancelled appointments to make it, some didn't make it all. But I guess it is obvious to me who are eager and passionate to run the race. Good gauge of the strength of my core members. I agree with Pastor Kong, the higher we wish to go, the stronger we need to be in our foundation. I am in a season of building the foundation of my CG. With that it means, to invest time and energy wisely. Not everyone, but selectively invest and wisely...invest.
As I mentioned, last night was the final night of Emerge. During the Praise and Worship....I can't help tearing as we sang the song "What Love Is This" by Kari Jobe. The bridge, when we were singing "Jesus, in Your suffering, You were reaching....You thought of me"
I saw His hands literally reaching out to me....and asking me....Are you willing to share some of the burden for Me?....I didn't understand. In my mind I was thinking, Jesus died for the people. So His burden is for the broken? Then I asked Jesus....so Jesus what do you want me to do? To reach out, to touch lives? Some broken lives flash before my mind. And I quieten down....and wept. And I told Jesus....I am not sure sometimes if I am able to do it. Then He said "My strength and grace is sufficient for you"....so I told Him I will try my best.
I didn't quite fully understand the whole thing. But I thought that is it. Nothing else. Jesus just wants me to reach out to those who are broken out there. Not until when pastor Kong started preaching....and as He preaches about the Foundations ....my heart began to beat faster, burden began to increase within my heart. And the image of Jesus reaching out His hands to me again flash before my eyes. And then it dawned upon me, that Jesus has already thought of the journey I need to go through in life....and that He knew everything about me, my sins and everything before I even exist.
And then slowly it unveiled before my eyes....as I told Jesus "I will try my best" ....I am actually signing up for a future who has probably not gonna be easy. Full of obstacles, hardships perhaps. And it began to dawn upon me that it is a privilege if I am able to suffer for His Kingdom cause.....as Pastor Kong did....
And then it began to become very clear to me. When Jesus asked me the question "can you take some of the burden for Me?" ....He isn't talking about the lives I will be reaching out to. He is talking about the moment I made the decision in doing the Kingdom works...all that may come after that. It hit me really hard. The question came ringing in my ear. Can I take that burden?
And then I looked at Pastor Kong as he preaches his final point. He apologized to the congregation that he has to put all of us through this. When he said that, tears welled up in my eyes. And it really hit me....this could probably be my last time seeing him here preaching and imparting into my lives. And I look at him, and wished I could hug him and express to him..."Pastor, you do not need to apologize us. What do we have to go through compared to you? It is a privilege that we can share in this suffering" :)
So, Pastor Kong began to lay his hands for one final time (as we know it) on all the full-time church staff. And I just cried looking at him doing that. I told myself...."what a privilege. To share in this suffering, in this vision."
In the final closing song. I prayed to Jesus. And I thanked Him for putting me in a place like this, in this vision at such a time. To let me understand all these. And I promised Him to build my foundation strong, so that when suffering come, I will not be shaken. And yes. I am answering His call. Yes, I am willing to be His vessel. Yes, I am signing up for more troubles to come my way....
So dear Jesus, I want You to know.....I love You....so so so so much....what a privilege it is to share that burden. Thank You for asking me. I won't promise that I will always be true, faultless, neither I will always do things right. But I promise....I will give my best to run this race, and try my best to fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith.
I love You... :')
A great build up from Pastor Bill Wilson.
Last night was significant for me, and I want to remember this for life. On Sunday I rallied all my members to come, because I want them to understand that it could be the last time we could hear from Pastor Kong himself in person. We are prepared to embrace the worst. But my trust is still with him. He is family to us, and we love him with all our hearts.
So many came. Some cancelled appointments to make it, some didn't make it all. But I guess it is obvious to me who are eager and passionate to run the race. Good gauge of the strength of my core members. I agree with Pastor Kong, the higher we wish to go, the stronger we need to be in our foundation. I am in a season of building the foundation of my CG. With that it means, to invest time and energy wisely. Not everyone, but selectively invest and wisely...invest.
As I mentioned, last night was the final night of Emerge. During the Praise and Worship....I can't help tearing as we sang the song "What Love Is This" by Kari Jobe. The bridge, when we were singing "Jesus, in Your suffering, You were reaching....You thought of me"
I saw His hands literally reaching out to me....and asking me....Are you willing to share some of the burden for Me?....I didn't understand. In my mind I was thinking, Jesus died for the people. So His burden is for the broken? Then I asked Jesus....so Jesus what do you want me to do? To reach out, to touch lives? Some broken lives flash before my mind. And I quieten down....and wept. And I told Jesus....I am not sure sometimes if I am able to do it. Then He said "My strength and grace is sufficient for you"....so I told Him I will try my best.
I didn't quite fully understand the whole thing. But I thought that is it. Nothing else. Jesus just wants me to reach out to those who are broken out there. Not until when pastor Kong started preaching....and as He preaches about the Foundations ....my heart began to beat faster, burden began to increase within my heart. And the image of Jesus reaching out His hands to me again flash before my eyes. And then it dawned upon me, that Jesus has already thought of the journey I need to go through in life....and that He knew everything about me, my sins and everything before I even exist.
And then slowly it unveiled before my eyes....as I told Jesus "I will try my best" ....I am actually signing up for a future who has probably not gonna be easy. Full of obstacles, hardships perhaps. And it began to dawn upon me that it is a privilege if I am able to suffer for His Kingdom cause.....as Pastor Kong did....
And then it began to become very clear to me. When Jesus asked me the question "can you take some of the burden for Me?" ....He isn't talking about the lives I will be reaching out to. He is talking about the moment I made the decision in doing the Kingdom works...all that may come after that. It hit me really hard. The question came ringing in my ear. Can I take that burden?
And then I looked at Pastor Kong as he preaches his final point. He apologized to the congregation that he has to put all of us through this. When he said that, tears welled up in my eyes. And it really hit me....this could probably be my last time seeing him here preaching and imparting into my lives. And I look at him, and wished I could hug him and express to him..."Pastor, you do not need to apologize us. What do we have to go through compared to you? It is a privilege that we can share in this suffering" :)
So, Pastor Kong began to lay his hands for one final time (as we know it) on all the full-time church staff. And I just cried looking at him doing that. I told myself...."what a privilege. To share in this suffering, in this vision."
In the final closing song. I prayed to Jesus. And I thanked Him for putting me in a place like this, in this vision at such a time. To let me understand all these. And I promised Him to build my foundation strong, so that when suffering come, I will not be shaken. And yes. I am answering His call. Yes, I am willing to be His vessel. Yes, I am signing up for more troubles to come my way....
So dear Jesus, I want You to know.....I love You....so so so so much....what a privilege it is to share that burden. Thank You for asking me. I won't promise that I will always be true, faultless, neither I will always do things right. But I promise....I will give my best to run this race, and try my best to fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith.
I love You... :')
Monday, August 27, 2012
Destiny Defining Moments
Yesterday Pastor Bill Wilson changed my life again.
I guess this is the season for sure. God is reassuring me it is time to launch to my call. Kinda nervous, yet feeling that every step of the way, I have God. Whom should I fear? What should I be afraid of?
Pastor Bill Wilson is the living testimony of how being in the dangerous streets of New York City, yet he still survived and doing well now.
Yesterday marks the defining moment yet again. To rededicate and position myself for the call. Pastor Bill was right. The 700 did not leave, did not get offended or gave up when their right hands no longer serve them well. Instead, they trained themselves hard, so much so that they can use their left hands much much more better than when they had their right hands.
All because they knew how important it was to be in the significant battle, they positioned themselves and prepared themselves, because they wanted to be in it. It is a privilege. Pastor Bill is right. We shouldn't be a sissy generation of Christian. We should position ourselves. We either stay or leave. God is not hard up for anything. We should see it as our privilege to be able to be in the battle for the Kingdom of God.
So, here goes....I am in this for life.
Shirley shared something really precious with me after the whole thing. And I think it is really significant for us to understand this. We only have one life to live. Don't invest on people who will not position themselves for God to come and use them. Yes we still love them, but we must not shortchange our energy and the people who are readily positioning themselves for the works of the Kingdom of God. In other words, how our lives should be from now on, is neither in the devil's hand or God's hand. It is in our hands. Our CHOICE.
I hope to live a life fully lived. Carvings all the way up to the top of my staff. Leaving a legacy for the generation after. This is the least I could do for God. For all that He has done for me. I hope I am determined enough.
Laying down our lives is not easy.
I am beginning to pick up the habit of writing journals and blogs again. Shirley gave me a revelation yesterday. In modern days, our carvings and markings on the staff...could be our journals and our blogs. Things that we can read back and see how faithful God has been in our lives.
Gonna pick up this habit again. The best is yet to come. Settle for nothing less than that.
I guess this is the season for sure. God is reassuring me it is time to launch to my call. Kinda nervous, yet feeling that every step of the way, I have God. Whom should I fear? What should I be afraid of?
Pastor Bill Wilson is the living testimony of how being in the dangerous streets of New York City, yet he still survived and doing well now.
Yesterday marks the defining moment yet again. To rededicate and position myself for the call. Pastor Bill was right. The 700 did not leave, did not get offended or gave up when their right hands no longer serve them well. Instead, they trained themselves hard, so much so that they can use their left hands much much more better than when they had their right hands.
All because they knew how important it was to be in the significant battle, they positioned themselves and prepared themselves, because they wanted to be in it. It is a privilege. Pastor Bill is right. We shouldn't be a sissy generation of Christian. We should position ourselves. We either stay or leave. God is not hard up for anything. We should see it as our privilege to be able to be in the battle for the Kingdom of God.
So, here goes....I am in this for life.
Shirley shared something really precious with me after the whole thing. And I think it is really significant for us to understand this. We only have one life to live. Don't invest on people who will not position themselves for God to come and use them. Yes we still love them, but we must not shortchange our energy and the people who are readily positioning themselves for the works of the Kingdom of God. In other words, how our lives should be from now on, is neither in the devil's hand or God's hand. It is in our hands. Our CHOICE.
I hope to live a life fully lived. Carvings all the way up to the top of my staff. Leaving a legacy for the generation after. This is the least I could do for God. For all that He has done for me. I hope I am determined enough.
Laying down our lives is not easy.
I am beginning to pick up the habit of writing journals and blogs again. Shirley gave me a revelation yesterday. In modern days, our carvings and markings on the staff...could be our journals and our blogs. Things that we can read back and see how faithful God has been in our lives.
Gonna pick up this habit again. The best is yet to come. Settle for nothing less than that.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Walking Through Life
Recently I realized things has become very different with me. I am not sure if it is an "age" related thing. Haha. But I hope not.
Recently having many counselling cases, many people who are broken coming over seeking for help, comfort, advises etc....
Stories that were in closet not suppose to be told. But I take it as a privilege that I am entrusted with such stories. However, it all dawn upon me, the old me is no longer that dominant. And I am glad.
I used to be really judgmental, I used to want to say stuff like "I Knew it"....or "how could you hurt God like that"....or "why do you do that?"..."this is so unacceptable"....whenever I hear stories of people messing up their future, destiny that is ever so bright. At some point, I even feel cheated whenever people whom I invested my time and energy did not meet my expectation, worst probably lied to me.
Recently, I realize....I am no God. I have times in life that would need people to be gracious toward me too. So how would I expect others to respond if I were the one suffering, in need of grace today? How I hope the response to be, that is how I should be. Noticeable to myself, my recent responses became "are you alright"..."God still loves you"...."its ok lets walk this journey together. Let's stand up and walk again"...."we are a family, you can always come back to us"..."keep going, stay strong"
I used to hear comments of people who "judge" a leader for being "too" merciful for giving second chances so many time. But these days, I begin to understand why and how these mercies can exist and how they are so important. That is how true family would react. Yes their hearts are broken, but they will give you second chances again and again because they hold on to he hope that you may really repent and change. They do not put you in a shelf just because you aren't perfect.
Of course having said that, discipline has to come into place. A good parent is one who will love yet discipline. Those who do not receive chastisement from God is illegitimate! I guess this principle applies to earthly parents too (be it spiritual or biological). But never once this discipline should be done with a "haha serve you right" attitude...or "Good on you. This is a lesson you will never forget". But more of a...."this breaks my heart but I need to do this. I love you that's why I can't bear to see you fall again"
None of us are perfect. All of us need grace. Never take this grace for granted. More importantly, with the grace freely given to you, give it to other as well.
Sometimes, the result is not most important. But the process. That is what I learned from my leader recently. Seeing how she plan to be PART of the process of each person who approaches her for any needs at all. She is never concerned about the result. She is concerned about the "walking through" journey.
As long as I can, as much as I can, with Jesus close to my heart, I will give my best to walk the journey through with others too. Genuinely wanting to be in their lives, not just hoping for a certain result. :)...Not to say it is gonna be super easy, but ok...I will take the challenge and try.
Life can be made beautiful again for the broken.....It only takes ONE who would be in the process, getting their hands dirty. Not waiting at the other end only with hopes that the person will do well and hoping they will come through. Walk through life together. It can be so much more sweeter that way :)
Recently having many counselling cases, many people who are broken coming over seeking for help, comfort, advises etc....
Stories that were in closet not suppose to be told. But I take it as a privilege that I am entrusted with such stories. However, it all dawn upon me, the old me is no longer that dominant. And I am glad.
I used to be really judgmental, I used to want to say stuff like "I Knew it"....or "how could you hurt God like that"....or "why do you do that?"..."this is so unacceptable"....whenever I hear stories of people messing up their future, destiny that is ever so bright. At some point, I even feel cheated whenever people whom I invested my time and energy did not meet my expectation, worst probably lied to me.
Recently, I realize....I am no God. I have times in life that would need people to be gracious toward me too. So how would I expect others to respond if I were the one suffering, in need of grace today? How I hope the response to be, that is how I should be. Noticeable to myself, my recent responses became "are you alright"..."God still loves you"...."its ok lets walk this journey together. Let's stand up and walk again"...."we are a family, you can always come back to us"..."keep going, stay strong"
I used to hear comments of people who "judge" a leader for being "too" merciful for giving second chances so many time. But these days, I begin to understand why and how these mercies can exist and how they are so important. That is how true family would react. Yes their hearts are broken, but they will give you second chances again and again because they hold on to he hope that you may really repent and change. They do not put you in a shelf just because you aren't perfect.
Of course having said that, discipline has to come into place. A good parent is one who will love yet discipline. Those who do not receive chastisement from God is illegitimate! I guess this principle applies to earthly parents too (be it spiritual or biological). But never once this discipline should be done with a "haha serve you right" attitude...or "Good on you. This is a lesson you will never forget". But more of a...."this breaks my heart but I need to do this. I love you that's why I can't bear to see you fall again"
None of us are perfect. All of us need grace. Never take this grace for granted. More importantly, with the grace freely given to you, give it to other as well.
Sometimes, the result is not most important. But the process. That is what I learned from my leader recently. Seeing how she plan to be PART of the process of each person who approaches her for any needs at all. She is never concerned about the result. She is concerned about the "walking through" journey.
As long as I can, as much as I can, with Jesus close to my heart, I will give my best to walk the journey through with others too. Genuinely wanting to be in their lives, not just hoping for a certain result. :)...Not to say it is gonna be super easy, but ok...I will take the challenge and try.
Life can be made beautiful again for the broken.....It only takes ONE who would be in the process, getting their hands dirty. Not waiting at the other end only with hopes that the person will do well and hoping they will come through. Walk through life together. It can be so much more sweeter that way :)
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Song Writing Attempt
Recently just bump into some of the old songs I wrote. Felt like posting them up for memory sake. Haha. The vocals are a bit cacat. And especially some of the lyrics for the first few songs are not very fresh. But I figure it is nice to have some of these memories kept somewhere. Maybe my grandchildren will discover them someday. Hoho.
And on my baptism day, the most significant day of my life (after waiting for 10 years) I wrote this song:
Here is my first song:
My Only My First - 2008
Guitarist: Hunter Leow
Wrote this second song when I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and felt the overwhelming presence of God. Its my first and only time feeling that overwhelming presence who urge you to wake up and just worship in the middle of the night. Felt really good.
Complete - 2008
Guitarist: Hunter Leow
Cannot find the file at the moment. Will upload when I find it
Third song: Wrote it in the midst of the circumstances. Wanting to be a bolder witness for Christ
Closer - 2010
Cacat Guitar: Hazel Saw (haha.Think Guitar string was a bit too loose)
Finally, this year I wrote my fourth song. When Abel asked the worship team to write a song. I asked myself what inspire me. So here it is:
Everything - 2012
Guitarist: Sebastian Teoh
And on my baptism day, the most significant day of my life (after waiting for 10 years) I wrote this song:
Today -2012
Guitarist: Sebastian Teoh
Need to continue writing to work on this skill. Toodles~
Friday, May 25, 2012
Burdened
Recently, after Destiny has went to be with the Lord in heaven on 20th May, 2012....I have began to view life very differently.
I have yet to tell you how much this little girl has impacted lives around her. I will...in the next blog.
At this moment, I just feel heaviness within my heart. For so many things, looking at so many pictures....I see pictures of people doing so many things, things that they enjoy....these are all happy pictures. They are genuinely loving life.
I am happy for them....
Yet, deep within me is this deep sense burden. Burdenned by the fact that most of them, have not known Christ yet....or rather have once knew Him but now have walked away.
Will they ever know that God is real? Will they ever wonder if there is more to life? Will they ever find out about this eternal life?
How can I tell my family that I care if they knew this God who gives eternal life?
How can I tell my best friend that this God she introduced me is more real than ever today, from the years before?
How can I tell or make my friends comprehend, that I did not suddenly just become religious. Instead, I have found this ONE source of strength, source of hope that the world can never understand? That if you find it, you will never want to exchange Him for anything else too.
How can I tell the world, that everything else in this world is temporary...but there is ONE who offer eternal love, who loves and cares for them more than anyone can love and care for them?
I am burdened....but I know, all in all....my God will never change. I take joy in that, and I believe, one day many will see it. I wished for them to find even greater JOY when they have found this eternal hope.
At this moment, I can't think of doing anything else, but to pray. =)
I have yet to tell you how much this little girl has impacted lives around her. I will...in the next blog.
At this moment, I just feel heaviness within my heart. For so many things, looking at so many pictures....I see pictures of people doing so many things, things that they enjoy....these are all happy pictures. They are genuinely loving life.
I am happy for them....
Yet, deep within me is this deep sense burden. Burdenned by the fact that most of them, have not known Christ yet....or rather have once knew Him but now have walked away.
Will they ever know that God is real? Will they ever wonder if there is more to life? Will they ever find out about this eternal life?
How can I tell my family that I care if they knew this God who gives eternal life?
How can I tell my best friend that this God she introduced me is more real than ever today, from the years before?
How can I tell or make my friends comprehend, that I did not suddenly just become religious. Instead, I have found this ONE source of strength, source of hope that the world can never understand? That if you find it, you will never want to exchange Him for anything else too.
How can I tell the world, that everything else in this world is temporary...but there is ONE who offer eternal love, who loves and cares for them more than anyone can love and care for them?
I am burdened....but I know, all in all....my God will never change. I take joy in that, and I believe, one day many will see it. I wished for them to find even greater JOY when they have found this eternal hope.
At this moment, I can't think of doing anything else, but to pray. =)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
:)
February 25th, 2012.
A date I will never ever forget.
A song inspired:
Today, I made a choice to live for You
Today, I come a child of God in freedom,
Today, I cast all my fears to You
Today, this day
My heart belongs to You
Today, I know of Your great love, my God,
I’m standing strong, standing tall because of You
Today, I found a brand new start with You
I can’t deny, in You I’ve found my hope…
Faithful
For the past 10 years being a Christian, going through the circumstances of being mocked, persecuted....Finally, this year, my family and most others begin to accept me as a Christian.
My God is faithful...who has seen me through many circumstance. Not only in the area of my family and friends, but also in my life.
He was faithful when I was undergoing depression, with countless suicidal plots and attempts.
He was faithful when I was dealing with my imperfection, and struggles with self-worthiness.
He was faithful when I sinned, yet He still gladly accepts me with open arms whenever I came running back.
He was faithful when I was going through trouble in my relationships.
He was faithful when I was weak and timid.
He was faithful to give me courage and strength that I needed to walk on daily.
He was faithful when I was in my lowest pit.
He held me together. There were so many things I am thankful for.
So many things I used to pray for, yet nothing happened...And I wonder if He ever heard me or cared? Today, most of them has been answered in His perfect timing, crafted plans. Major one being accepted in my very own home and being baptized....bringing my family a step closer to Him.
Ahead for me, there are still so many uncertainties, and so many things that I can truly worry about. But, I will always remind myself, He has been faithful. And nothing should ever change my confidence / faith in Him. So, I will trust, not because it is my obligation, but because His nature is constant forever. :)
Because, when I am faithless, He is STILL faithful....
My God is faithful...who has seen me through many circumstance. Not only in the area of my family and friends, but also in my life.
He was faithful when I was undergoing depression, with countless suicidal plots and attempts.
He was faithful when I was dealing with my imperfection, and struggles with self-worthiness.
He was faithful when I sinned, yet He still gladly accepts me with open arms whenever I came running back.
He was faithful when I was going through trouble in my relationships.
He was faithful when I was weak and timid.
He was faithful to give me courage and strength that I needed to walk on daily.
He was faithful when I was in my lowest pit.
He held me together. There were so many things I am thankful for.
So many things I used to pray for, yet nothing happened...And I wonder if He ever heard me or cared? Today, most of them has been answered in His perfect timing, crafted plans. Major one being accepted in my very own home and being baptized....bringing my family a step closer to Him.
Ahead for me, there are still so many uncertainties, and so many things that I can truly worry about. But, I will always remind myself, He has been faithful. And nothing should ever change my confidence / faith in Him. So, I will trust, not because it is my obligation, but because His nature is constant forever. :)
Because, when I am faithless, He is STILL faithful....
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