Emerge 2012 is totally mind blowing. It is not only the EVENTS I am commenting about. But the spirit, everything behind it. It was totally life-changing for me.
A great build up from Pastor Bill Wilson.
Last night was significant for me, and I want to remember this for life. On Sunday I rallied all my members to come, because I want them to understand that it could be the last time we could hear from Pastor Kong himself in person. We are prepared to embrace the worst. But my trust is still with him. He is family to us, and we love him with all our hearts.
So many came. Some cancelled appointments to make it, some didn't make it all. But I guess it is obvious to me who are eager and passionate to run the race. Good gauge of the strength of my core members. I agree with Pastor Kong, the higher we wish to go, the stronger we need to be in our foundation. I am in a season of building the foundation of my CG. With that it means, to invest time and energy wisely. Not everyone, but selectively invest and wisely...invest.
As I mentioned, last night was the final night of Emerge. During the Praise and Worship....I can't help tearing as we sang the song "What Love Is This" by Kari Jobe. The bridge, when we were singing "Jesus, in Your suffering, You were reaching....You thought of me"
I saw His hands literally reaching out to me....and asking me....Are you willing to share some of the burden for Me?....I didn't understand. In my mind I was thinking, Jesus died for the people. So His burden is for the broken? Then I asked Jesus....so Jesus what do you want me to do? To reach out, to touch lives? Some broken lives flash before my mind. And I quieten down....and wept. And I told Jesus....I am not sure sometimes if I am able to do it. Then He said "My strength and grace is sufficient for you"....so I told Him I will try my best.
I didn't quite fully understand the whole thing. But I thought that is it. Nothing else. Jesus just wants me to reach out to those who are broken out there. Not until when pastor Kong started preaching....and as He preaches about the Foundations ....my heart began to beat faster, burden began to increase within my heart. And the image of Jesus reaching out His hands to me again flash before my eyes. And then it dawned upon me, that Jesus has already thought of the journey I need to go through in life....and that He knew everything about me, my sins and everything before I even exist.
And then slowly it unveiled before my eyes....as I told Jesus "I will try my best" ....I am actually signing up for a future who has probably not gonna be easy. Full of obstacles, hardships perhaps. And it began to dawn upon me that it is a privilege if I am able to suffer for His Kingdom cause.....as Pastor Kong did....
And then it began to become very clear to me. When Jesus asked me the question "can you take some of the burden for Me?" ....He isn't talking about the lives I will be reaching out to. He is talking about the moment I made the decision in doing the Kingdom works...all that may come after that. It hit me really hard. The question came ringing in my ear. Can I take that burden?
And then I looked at Pastor Kong as he preaches his final point. He apologized to the congregation that he has to put all of us through this. When he said that, tears welled up in my eyes. And it really hit me....this could probably be my last time seeing him here preaching and imparting into my lives. And I look at him, and wished I could hug him and express to him..."Pastor, you do not need to apologize us. What do we have to go through compared to you? It is a privilege that we can share in this suffering" :)
So, Pastor Kong began to lay his hands for one final time (as we know it) on all the full-time church staff. And I just cried looking at him doing that. I told myself...."what a privilege. To share in this suffering, in this vision."
In the final closing song. I prayed to Jesus. And I thanked Him for putting me in a place like this, in this vision at such a time. To let me understand all these. And I promised Him to build my foundation strong, so that when suffering come, I will not be shaken. And yes. I am answering His call. Yes, I am willing to be His vessel. Yes, I am signing up for more troubles to come my way....
So dear Jesus, I want You to know.....I love You....so so so so much....what a privilege it is to share that burden. Thank You for asking me. I won't promise that I will always be true, faultless, neither I will always do things right. But I promise....I will give my best to run this race, and try my best to fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith.
I love You... :')
