It has been a long time since I last blogged. My schedule is so tightly packed with emerge coming up and etc, the call ups in church, the crazy making sure everything is arranged, the discipleship and so forth. It is not easy in this journey of clustering, I am sure Clement, Nickey, Si Xuan, Joel, Jenny, Bobby and Siew Min would agree with me (LOL). Nonetheless, one thing I realized this morning as I was doing my devotion, that all these things have brought me to a new phase of life that I never thought I would have entered. At least that is what I feel now. I am no longer the same person as when I first started with the cluster. I just feel different inside out. Emerge fever is kicking in! So are you ready to emerge? WE dare YOU! yaaa!!
As human, I get tired too especially this season, but my refreshing and renewing of strength comes from seeking the One above every morning. With God, the whole day usually runs in order. This season is truly a good training ground for me as Shirley said. If the cluster leaders can learn to lead these big groups of people, we can lead a subzone one day. Yea! I am visualizing that now. =D I always wonder how Shirley did it. Now, I know it is not easy. All the more this process of leadership makes me appreciate my leaders more. With 200 people under my cluster, not my subzone, whose pastoral issue I needn’t have to worry about because they have their own cell leaders, I am already feeling that it demands a lot from me. What more for Shirley and pastor.…leading more than 200 people!!! And inside there are so many pastoral issues that they have to personally deal with….they’re amazing!
I went to Passion Conference last Sunday night. Honestly I was really tired, whole day being in church for all the competitions cheering and so forth. But, the conference was totally awesome.
Chris Tomlin’s worship on Sunday night had ministered to thousands (4 thousand attended the conference that night). Will the problems and storms in your life stop you from singing to God? The truth is, the overwhelming joy and confidence of victory in God only increase your desire to worship the ONE TRUE GOD all the days of your lives. Nothing can replace that, not even the deepest darkest problems. Not stress, not what people talk about you behind you….But if we allow these petty problems to stop us from singing, then God is not the ONLY One we worship nor the FIRST in our lives.
Many of us cried so much last Sunday night. The presence of God was really strong. Especially when Chris Tomlin sang…man…it was portrayed inside out that he is truly a man of God. The anointing he carried is indescribable. The atmosphere was just so full the spirit that people just naturally have visions and are restored and healed and refreshed. My mindset was that preaching of the Word can only have such a strong effect. No doubt worship can too, but it just didn't occur to me that I can experience it other than only knowing by fact. In Passion conference, not only me, but many others were ministered at the same time. Passion conference was all about being passionate for Christ. About outreach for Christian, about Christ for the non believers.
A lot of time we hear people saying, our country, our campus, our marketplace, they are all our responsibilities. Yes truly we know that. But how many of us will actually claim the city for Christ? How many of us will say, yes God I will be the salt of the earth and make You famous…then really stepping out and doing it. Or rather, we are those who at that moment of time, we were touched, so we said yes…after that, we doubt or we were too lazy to step out to do it even.
“Too radical” some would say…or maybe… “It is not my calling!”…. “I do not have the time!”….I believe all of us at some point of lives or maybe until this very day still saying this. The truth is we do not need thunder, fireballs falling from the sky and God’s audible voice to tell us that reaching out and crossing over to bring the gap closer between the living and the dead is our calling. THIS IS THE HEARBEAT OF GOD. A true Christian will know that what God desires all of us to do at the end of the day, is really mission. His desire is to restore the whole world back to their original purpose, that is to believe in Christ and be reconciled again with Him. Then what is with the denial of the responsibilities we have in Christ? I would personally say…fear….fear of not being able to do it, fear of nothing happen, fear that we might not be the one, fear that we are not good enough, fear of being criticized, fear of looking like a “holy” person, fear of investing time, fear of commitment, etc….Yes, and I am no exclusion from all these claims.
Outreach, was the greatest thing that God has implanted in my heart this very season of my life. I remember, when I was urged to lead an outreach in my campus, I turned away from God and rejected Him, claiming that I was too busy, suspecting that it may be only my imagination. Besides, I have too many assignments, exams, too busy to plan that. Second time when God called me, I said yes this time, but with many excuses of not being able to find a room, a good support to start this whole thing. Third time when I was urged, He said this: If you don’t want to take this up, I can call somebody else. It doesn’t have to be you!
Well, this doesn’t seem biblically right I know, LOL but hey…I am human too. I know God works according to His own time, but I was desperate for something to happen.
I have been trying to twist God’s arm, wanting Him to make things happen according to my time! My way of seeing the move of God, is through the results. God’s way of moving is through mysterious ways that men cannot possibly understand. In fact this is the word that God has put in my heart since the beginning of this year…that it is not the result He is concerned about but the quality of my relationship with Him...And it just hit me that He is preparing me for this season. In Passion Conference, God asked me one question that I will never forget: Child, the outreach is not ONLY for you to reach out, but the outreach is also for you to build your trust toward Me. Will you continue waiting and keep on keeping on even when I do not move for one year, two years, five years? Or will you just stop doing everything? Will you keep on having faith in me even when all else seem hopeless and impossible and people are mocking you? The choice is yours. That night, God put in my heart two pictures to meditate on:
Jesus, leading us through the woods. Quietly, we followed behind, not uttering a word. He walked on the water. We all halted our steps not wanting to step in, being afraid. We all know the story of Peter, but we were not brave enough without the hands of God with us. Jesus turned around, reached out his hand, held ours…and said: Come…at that moment of time, we are in the midst of decision whether to step in or to say, "its ok! we are fine on dry ground." In the end we did...His grip was so secure that I personally just trusted Him. And then as I walked out I put out my hand for another person at the edge of the island uttering the same word, "COme!", and he step in too, then that person do the same to another, then another…then another…and the whole sea, was filled with people walking on the water with Christ taking lead.
As Christ has done for us, we did the same to others…that we may all cross over to the promised land and nobody is left behind. And people just follow and become Christlike. But first it takes us to be Christlike before that happening. Imagine, who will trust us when we say "come!" if we do not carry the anointing and the image of Christ. At the end of the day, the glory all goes back to Him. We are just a vessel. But we have to be willing to turn around and say "Come" before we are able to be a vessel. And even before we turn around to ask others to come, we must be the one who step into the water first! It is living a life of example! Wow...
For greater things have yet to come,
And greater things are still to be done,
In this city…
