Greatest moments in life, are not one that allow you to have all the riches of the world.
Greatest moments in life, to me....is the time when I realize I just cannot do without Jesus. He becomes the most precious.
Living a life for Christ, traveling down the road of salvation, isn't at all easy. The initial humble you could be eaten up by the hustle, bustle and events of life...living you with nothing much to give back to the One who deserves it all. Jesus.
You could have been relying on Him to pull you through certain issues of life, and have learnt up prinicipalities, and how they work. You have won a few battles, and know how to counter a few things in life. Then you got proud. You thought you knew it all. Do they still work today? Yes! Simply because they are God's principles. But there is no longer a need to depend on God to bring us through, because His principles work just the same.
And it builds up within you. If you are not careful, you don't even knew it exist. You didn't know you were beginning to depend on yourself. The line becomes really thin. You can claim you are doing things for Christ. But really, asking yourselves in all honesty. Is it really that way?
MEEKNESS. The strength in humility...the cloak of humility...is the one thing that fix our eyes on Jesus. Helping us to stay in focus, on the right things in life. Helping us to realize we need Him every step we take. Help us to realize, we are nothing but just a human, and we need a Savior.
The greatest battle to fight, the greatest enemy, are those whom you cannot realize or see. And they are the scariest, in disguise, deceiving you. We need to depend our lives STRONGLY SOLELY on Him alone...Christ alone, will have all the glory, Christ alone is the source of strength and hope, Christ alone deserves all things, Christ alone is the One that will teach us to find life.
Lets not gain everything and lose our souls. The greatest giant in life...is SELF. We need to die to self, realize that we no longer live, but Christ who lives in us.
The higher you go, the more battles you win, the harder to realize that pride is overtaking. We need to constantly bring ourselves down, and remind ourselves, battles won has nothing to do with our ability, or capability. It is all to do with Him.
In Christ alone...I place my trust...
and find my glory in the POWER of the CROSS
In every victory let it be said of me
my source of strength, my source of hope
Is CHRIST ALONE...
When you think you know it all, is the beginning of understanding you know nothing at all.
I pray that I will remember this for the rest of my life...Hope you are blessed!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Nothing...
Who am I?
Nothing....
Without Him....nobody.
Fallen nature, fallen short in every way... of His glory...
I now finally understood what it means, that we need to live by His grace every single day, every single step of our way in our lives.
Because no matter how hard we try...we are imperfect. Fallen short.
And that's the beauty of it all...that there is nothing we can do, to earn ourselves this grace.
Absolutely nothing.
It is a gift...and all we need to do is receive
Now this life...
No longer I who live, but He who lives in me... =)
I am blessed. Beyond word...blessed...
Thank You...Thank You...Thank You for all that You are. And all that I am. And the realization of who I really really am, without You =)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Do you dare?
Last night, I pledged my love to God. It was amazing. I was in awe with all that God has done in my life. Truly there is no other place I would like to be in, than in places where He is. I will not go where His presence is not.
As I was counting my blessings, I was brought to a remembrance. I have been a Christian since Dec 1 2002. Gone through, ups, downs, time when I backslide, and time when I came back to God. Today as I was worshipping God, reflecting on His goodness in my life...laying my prayers and all I could offer on the altar for Him, I asked God: God, have I done You proud? Have I answered Your call and the vision You have given me? Have I done Your will,. Lord? What can I give or do for You?
God brought me through a flashback in my walk with Him. Truly, I m totally amazed by how God has shaped a big part of my life. How my life has been so impacted by visualizations, imaginations, and passion in my life. I came to realize, that our passion is actually very very close to God's will for us in our life!
When I first became a Christian, I looked at those singers on stage...I visualized that one day I want to be able to sing and make people cry and touched. Back home, I often sing to the mirror...hahaha! But, months later, I was the worship leader in my youth church. And during my first worship leading, number of girls cried. You know when you are a baby Christian....the childlike faith truly could move the hands of God!.....I remember I was praying for my family to get saved one day because I don't want to be an underground Christian my whole life. So I was praying and praying, and by faith I believe that year itself, one of my family member will get saved. In 2003, I boldly approach one of my cousin and shared the gospel with her. Guess what? That day itself, as I was praying for her (take note I was only a few months old christian)...deliverance happened. From that day onwards, my dearest cousin who was like a sister to me, came to Christ. Today, she is an amazing church leader in Penang engaged to a mighty man of God as well.
Eventually as time passes, the desire of the flesh came in.... when I saw the passionate seniors serving God in such a big way...I told myself...I want to be a leader in church too! Of course my motivation back then was about being glamor...True enough I became a youth leader...but eventually backslided, because it was all for the wrong motive. Even though I was a youth leader, but my life with God was totally unfruitful...nothing was left of me for the next generation. No inspiration. Nothing.
However, surprisingly, eversince I got saved, I have always wanted to be a pastor....not to say that it was a glamor job...but I just wanted to be able to help others change their lives for better. Since my parents forbid me from attending bible school, I chose the next course nearest to bible school pastors...that is PSYCHOLOGY :) Hence, I enrolled and my journey in KL started.
As I came to KL in October 2006, I was totally lost and under depression. I wanted to come back to God, but I do not know how. I couldn't bring myself to tell my hometown pastor anything. Praise God, I stumble upon a bunch of housemates who were city harvesters back then. They were eager to bring me to their church! I was rather cynical as I wanted to attend my church.....not theirs...However, it was in CHC KL that I finally found my way back to God. In December 2006, I told God...I want to be a person that would be able to use my life story (real life story) to encourage another person. I want a breakthrough with God. True enough, God made that happen. in 2006, I came out of depression and sucidal tendencies, and this stories had been a great tool for me to motivate members I counsel eversince.
Then eventually, I asked God for opportunity to serve Him more, but this time...not with a wrong motive. I want to serve Him but I want the right heart.. Not for fame or glamor...but to really do His will. In 2007, Shirley offered me to be an intern. Out of fear, I rejected it because I was afraid that I may be overwhelm by the glamor and leave God again. Nonetheless, as Shirley spoke to me, I took up the challenge and I made a promise with her...that whenever she finds me serving God for the wrong purpose, for fame, for glamor, that she would stripped me off immediately. She agreed.
Eventually as I followed Shirley, looking at the way she preach, and the way she love and counseled people, I visualized within me, one day I would like to be able to preach and love others like her, where every sermon will cut into people's heart and every act of love will make a person want to change for Jesus. I want that chance to make a difference in the world. 2008, I was appointed Cell Leader.
Then, in 2007 as I joined my first ever emerge, looking at Felicia praying on the stage such a sincere prayer....I told God...God, one day...I wish I m as brave as her, and as impactful as her, that when she prays, Your presence just come down. That day, so many young people being there, whether Christian or not, I believe they would have sensed something different when she prayed. One day...when I m bold enough....in 2008 itself, I was given a chance to lead a cluster, Not only to pray, but to share my testimony to thousands of people.
In the midst of all these, I also often visualize that one day I will be able to preach to hundreds of people, with God by my side, to challenge young people to come to God. This has not come to pass yet, but in 2009, I was a step closer. During a mission trip, even though there were not 100s of young people, but 50 young people responded to the altar call with 6 salvation decisions. I was totally in awe at how God could use such a broken / totally imperfect person like me!
In 2009, as I went through a tough season, crisis in my finances.....I was struggling through with my building fund. By faith, the building fund problem was solved. And I told God...God I believe one day, You will give me a testimony to share about Your goodness through giving. that I refused to be defeated by this situation in life. I will keep sowing until You ask me to stop. In 2010, I was given the chance to share my Building Fund testimony, not only in church, but also in Setiawan, to encourage others in their giving.
Having thought through all these, I realized, that God has planted His call deep in me. And His call is very close to my passion. Everything that I ever dreamt of doing for God (not everything yet, but most of the things) He made it happen. But is the process toward there easy? No...I went through persecution in family, I went through financial struggle, I went through mocking of friends, I had to deal with difficult members.
What I m trying to say...within everyone of us, there is a call of God, close to our passion. We have to decide to water that seed, to not only visualize...(I assure you when you visualize it God will give you opportunities to make it come to pass, if it is in His will). You not only have to believe you can do it in the fourth dimension, you have to take the courage to step out and DO IT. Not just see it or imagine it, but do it.
Our destiny could vary according to the decisions we made in life. If I had chose a different path, perhaps pharmacy, or if I had insisted my rejection on taking up the intern role, I wouldn't have had the chance to do all that I had imagined to do with God with all my might. If I had shut the door of opportunities in front of me again and again and again, I could have big dreams in God, but nothing would get done. If I chose to succumb to the voices of discouragement that says I could not do it, that I m not worthy, I m not good enough...I wouldn't be where I m today..
Friends, to live for Jesus isn't easy. To live for Jesus requires a lifetime of struggles! With the flesh, our personal selfish wants, needs, and feelings. But to live a set apart life for Jesus is a CHOICE. The choices I made, bring me to where I m today...good and bad.....
With that, does it mean I live a perfect life? No...I still make wrong decisions...I still mess up in certain areas in life, I still bang my head sometimes...I m not perfect. But on this journey to perfection, to do the will of God, is not about being ambitious or successful...its about being obedient to the call He has planted within us. Alot of times we can be very passionate about something, but not courageous enough to take a step of faith. The truth is, God has always waited for us to take that one step to be able to manifest His glory.
We are His hands, and His feet....Before He could use em, we gotta surrender these hands and feet to Him..
By all means, dream and dream big for God. My God is larger than my imagination :) He is able to use me for many all the things I could ever imagine. But the question is, m I willing to be where He wants me to be?
I still have big dreams.....to be a nation changer for Christ. I m still very very very very far from it....but is it impossible? Looking back at all He has brought me through...I believe God is trying to tell me....it is totally possible. But it would require obedience and willingness on my part....to die to my flesh and live for Him....The choice is in my hand. The more you ask God to use you...prepare that you would have to go through more too :) ...do you then, dare to dream....but more than that...do you dare to step out?
When we grow older, when life seems to be so vague with their ups and downs, when things are not really going well, when times are tough, and there seems to be too much risk already, and we seem to prefer stability more.....would we still step out, believe, dream and be bold in our imagination as when we were a child....? Would we remember these dreams, and still hold on to it, believing we would see it come to pass? Would we still have the faith to do His desires and will here on earth?
What then can I do for You, God?...:)....Plenty...He said. The issue is not with the "what" or the "how"....the issue is "will we?"
Something I would love to ponder on too :)
As I was counting my blessings, I was brought to a remembrance. I have been a Christian since Dec 1 2002. Gone through, ups, downs, time when I backslide, and time when I came back to God. Today as I was worshipping God, reflecting on His goodness in my life...laying my prayers and all I could offer on the altar for Him, I asked God: God, have I done You proud? Have I answered Your call and the vision You have given me? Have I done Your will,. Lord? What can I give or do for You?
God brought me through a flashback in my walk with Him. Truly, I m totally amazed by how God has shaped a big part of my life. How my life has been so impacted by visualizations, imaginations, and passion in my life. I came to realize, that our passion is actually very very close to God's will for us in our life!
When I first became a Christian, I looked at those singers on stage...I visualized that one day I want to be able to sing and make people cry and touched. Back home, I often sing to the mirror...hahaha! But, months later, I was the worship leader in my youth church. And during my first worship leading, number of girls cried. You know when you are a baby Christian....the childlike faith truly could move the hands of God!.....I remember I was praying for my family to get saved one day because I don't want to be an underground Christian my whole life. So I was praying and praying, and by faith I believe that year itself, one of my family member will get saved. In 2003, I boldly approach one of my cousin and shared the gospel with her. Guess what? That day itself, as I was praying for her (take note I was only a few months old christian)...deliverance happened. From that day onwards, my dearest cousin who was like a sister to me, came to Christ. Today, she is an amazing church leader in Penang engaged to a mighty man of God as well.
Eventually as time passes, the desire of the flesh came in.... when I saw the passionate seniors serving God in such a big way...I told myself...I want to be a leader in church too! Of course my motivation back then was about being glamor...True enough I became a youth leader...but eventually backslided, because it was all for the wrong motive. Even though I was a youth leader, but my life with God was totally unfruitful...nothing was left of me for the next generation. No inspiration. Nothing.
However, surprisingly, eversince I got saved, I have always wanted to be a pastor....not to say that it was a glamor job...but I just wanted to be able to help others change their lives for better. Since my parents forbid me from attending bible school, I chose the next course nearest to bible school pastors...that is PSYCHOLOGY :) Hence, I enrolled and my journey in KL started.
As I came to KL in October 2006, I was totally lost and under depression. I wanted to come back to God, but I do not know how. I couldn't bring myself to tell my hometown pastor anything. Praise God, I stumble upon a bunch of housemates who were city harvesters back then. They were eager to bring me to their church! I was rather cynical as I wanted to attend my church.....not theirs...However, it was in CHC KL that I finally found my way back to God. In December 2006, I told God...I want to be a person that would be able to use my life story (real life story) to encourage another person. I want a breakthrough with God. True enough, God made that happen. in 2006, I came out of depression and sucidal tendencies, and this stories had been a great tool for me to motivate members I counsel eversince.
Then eventually, I asked God for opportunity to serve Him more, but this time...not with a wrong motive. I want to serve Him but I want the right heart.. Not for fame or glamor...but to really do His will. In 2007, Shirley offered me to be an intern. Out of fear, I rejected it because I was afraid that I may be overwhelm by the glamor and leave God again. Nonetheless, as Shirley spoke to me, I took up the challenge and I made a promise with her...that whenever she finds me serving God for the wrong purpose, for fame, for glamor, that she would stripped me off immediately. She agreed.
Eventually as I followed Shirley, looking at the way she preach, and the way she love and counseled people, I visualized within me, one day I would like to be able to preach and love others like her, where every sermon will cut into people's heart and every act of love will make a person want to change for Jesus. I want that chance to make a difference in the world. 2008, I was appointed Cell Leader.
Then, in 2007 as I joined my first ever emerge, looking at Felicia praying on the stage such a sincere prayer....I told God...God, one day...I wish I m as brave as her, and as impactful as her, that when she prays, Your presence just come down. That day, so many young people being there, whether Christian or not, I believe they would have sensed something different when she prayed. One day...when I m bold enough....in 2008 itself, I was given a chance to lead a cluster, Not only to pray, but to share my testimony to thousands of people.
In the midst of all these, I also often visualize that one day I will be able to preach to hundreds of people, with God by my side, to challenge young people to come to God. This has not come to pass yet, but in 2009, I was a step closer. During a mission trip, even though there were not 100s of young people, but 50 young people responded to the altar call with 6 salvation decisions. I was totally in awe at how God could use such a broken / totally imperfect person like me!
In 2009, as I went through a tough season, crisis in my finances.....I was struggling through with my building fund. By faith, the building fund problem was solved. And I told God...God I believe one day, You will give me a testimony to share about Your goodness through giving. that I refused to be defeated by this situation in life. I will keep sowing until You ask me to stop. In 2010, I was given the chance to share my Building Fund testimony, not only in church, but also in Setiawan, to encourage others in their giving.
Having thought through all these, I realized, that God has planted His call deep in me. And His call is very close to my passion. Everything that I ever dreamt of doing for God (not everything yet, but most of the things) He made it happen. But is the process toward there easy? No...I went through persecution in family, I went through financial struggle, I went through mocking of friends, I had to deal with difficult members.
What I m trying to say...within everyone of us, there is a call of God, close to our passion. We have to decide to water that seed, to not only visualize...(I assure you when you visualize it God will give you opportunities to make it come to pass, if it is in His will). You not only have to believe you can do it in the fourth dimension, you have to take the courage to step out and DO IT. Not just see it or imagine it, but do it.
Our destiny could vary according to the decisions we made in life. If I had chose a different path, perhaps pharmacy, or if I had insisted my rejection on taking up the intern role, I wouldn't have had the chance to do all that I had imagined to do with God with all my might. If I had shut the door of opportunities in front of me again and again and again, I could have big dreams in God, but nothing would get done. If I chose to succumb to the voices of discouragement that says I could not do it, that I m not worthy, I m not good enough...I wouldn't be where I m today..
Friends, to live for Jesus isn't easy. To live for Jesus requires a lifetime of struggles! With the flesh, our personal selfish wants, needs, and feelings. But to live a set apart life for Jesus is a CHOICE. The choices I made, bring me to where I m today...good and bad.....
With that, does it mean I live a perfect life? No...I still make wrong decisions...I still mess up in certain areas in life, I still bang my head sometimes...I m not perfect. But on this journey to perfection, to do the will of God, is not about being ambitious or successful...its about being obedient to the call He has planted within us. Alot of times we can be very passionate about something, but not courageous enough to take a step of faith. The truth is, God has always waited for us to take that one step to be able to manifest His glory.
We are His hands, and His feet....Before He could use em, we gotta surrender these hands and feet to Him..
By all means, dream and dream big for God. My God is larger than my imagination :) He is able to use me for many all the things I could ever imagine. But the question is, m I willing to be where He wants me to be?
I still have big dreams.....to be a nation changer for Christ. I m still very very very very far from it....but is it impossible? Looking back at all He has brought me through...I believe God is trying to tell me....it is totally possible. But it would require obedience and willingness on my part....to die to my flesh and live for Him....The choice is in my hand. The more you ask God to use you...prepare that you would have to go through more too :) ...do you then, dare to dream....but more than that...do you dare to step out?
When we grow older, when life seems to be so vague with their ups and downs, when things are not really going well, when times are tough, and there seems to be too much risk already, and we seem to prefer stability more.....would we still step out, believe, dream and be bold in our imagination as when we were a child....? Would we remember these dreams, and still hold on to it, believing we would see it come to pass? Would we still have the faith to do His desires and will here on earth?
What then can I do for You, God?...:)....Plenty...He said. The issue is not with the "what" or the "how"....the issue is "will we?"
Something I would love to ponder on too :)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
You need grace....
It has been so long since I last blogged. Life have been pretty amazingly FULL and PACKED! Nonetheless, I felt compelled to update my dead blog. Eversince the busy days, these pages had been dead! LOL...Well, busy life: Good and bad. Good thing is I learned a lot about myself lately. Bad is, at times it drives me crazy. LOL. Such is life, always have to learn to manage and balance. But excited to live in! :))
In this season of life, I learned a lot. About myself, and about things in life. Yesterday, I spent whole day with a close friend of mine, Siew Min. Just chilling. We talked about life, about things we go through. Its pretty awesome to see how we both have come so far. Yet at the same time, each season, there are new things to battle, new things to learn, new things to fight for. What an exciting life I m living. All glory to Jesus :)
As I was pondering on my life today. I realized, being 8 year Christian, I have been really harsh to myself. I expect myself to be perfect, or at least be able to iron out most of the things already. But recent events really break me and make me humble. I thank God for all these. Have always tried to manage and balance things on my own, not realizing that I have pushed God aside in the solution part. Now I know, apart from doing my part, I cannot leave Him out of the picture. I always thought it was my own thing and I MUST force myself to solve it. But the truth is, I m just not perfect and I constantly need His grace.
Being in the working world has revealed a lot about myself too. For instance, I realized that I m not a very detailed person. I forget things easily. And at times I overlooked things. Well, do I have this problem before? Yes. But being a student, I wasn't forced to deal with this part of my life. I could still do well and manage. Now that I m working...how can I ignore details? It is totally ESSENTIAL.
So, these past few months, I feel rather bad as an employee, feel that I could not perform, and a lot of times beat myself up for being careless. Tried many ways to be more detailed, but as much as I try...there will still be things that I missed out. So I guess in my mind there is this battle, that I do not see myself as a good employee. Rather disappointed with how things are. Got scolded a few times by different people, and felt really bad about how things goes...going to work isn't exciting anymore.
Nonetheless, the more I try to solve it, the more I realize, there are more and more things to look into. So I ran to God....not knowing what else I could do as it is rather disappointing. Detailedness is indeed not my strength. And as much as I try, there will surely still be one or two things I forget. So as I was praying one night, God brought me to my past, and the first day when I worked. He asked me: Do I think I have improved very much in this detailedness area from day 1 I worked....I thought about it...."yea...indeed I did improve. But the point is, I still forget things, and I still upset people!" Then God asked me: "So you expect yourself to be totally flawless and perfect within a year you work? You have been like that for the past 23 years! Think about it....you have not been in this field before. You study psychology, there are so many new things which you have to relearn, many things are totally new to you...Can't you have some grace on yourself. The point is not whether you forget things or not, but the point is have you improved?"
God told me to think about the process I have been through and learn to appreciate my experiences. See, He is right. It is not that I m living in ignorance. But throughout the process, I have learned that I cannot do everything on my own. I need to learn to focus and prioritize, I need to learn to say NO to certain task with the things I already have at my hand, I took bullets before, I rough it out, I learn how is it like to talk to suppliers, to negotiate prices, to do a brochure, to manage a website, to talk to regional offices, to run an event, to do some social media marketing.....I have actually come quite far! :) ...Do I get better each day as I rough things out? I do! :)) See...this is the one thing that I fail to see time after time. I just want myself to "ting" and become "the perfect employee". LOL. Foolish? Yes.
*Pats on back* :) Well, that is just one of the examples. This season of life, is yet an amazing one for me. I rough through SO MANY issues in just one season. The transition period is the hardest most people say. They are totally right! Hahaha. You just have to get used with everything else which weren't there before. And you got to manage, learn, make mistakes, fall, getup, try, learn and all over again until you get it right!
But in the midst of all these, we often forget about one thing. That we need grace. The grace of God and the grace on ourselves. I have learned that, it is necessary that we have grace on ourselves, to learn that we are not perfect...and constantly we need God to be with us. Yes we can be disappointed, upset, frustrated, stressed up with life. But who do we go to? We go to God...be broken...and get restored, and tomorrow is a new day. I have learned this season very much, that when we have grace on ourselves, we perform better. We become more positive.
Using my workplace as an example: For the past month, I have been going to office everyday with a mind that today I will learn something new, today I m going to conquer all my work. Do I still struggle with the same thing? Yes. But m I more positive? totally. Even if I m being scolded, I realize I m learning to take it in more relaxedly in comparison to before. And I have become more THICK SKIN! Lol. My brothers told me that it is necessary to be thick skin when we work. If our skin is too thin, we can go for any job, but we will surely not last the distance. One scolding or mistreat, or unfairness will result in us resigning. Wow...now that is the first word of wisdom I heard from him :P hahaha...Kidding. He is an amazing brother. Love him a lot.
So.... with this grace we give, it tears down the expectation we have on ourselves to PERFORM beyond our own capability. Recognize our weaknesses, and continue to motivate ourselves to keep going instead of giving up. And most importantly, make us need God even more :) I cannot do anything without His grace. And...this grace on ourselves, is indeed very important. And it can only come, if we come broken before God, allowing Him to come in and enlighten a few things about us by receiving HIS grace. My ibu Shirley Boon calls this the breaking of false self image. hahaha! And I realize how important this grace is so that we won't constantly beat ourselves up and become wounded in our soul for not meeting our own CRAZY expectations (humans....). Not saying that we can have the passport to slack. But grace fuels us to keep going and acknowledges us that it is alright to make mistakes.
See, this is something common every Christian would tell you. In fact, I told many people about this too. But telling, and going through it, is really very different. It was a struggle for me as I haven't been graceful since my study years (beating myself up for not having expected results). And does this make me feel acceptant of myself as an imperfect human being? No!
But to be graceful is indeed something really essential as a human. That you have to acknowledge to YOURSELF, you are actually not perfect, or expected to be perfect. You are expected to learn along the way and become better. This past month, being graceful toward myself, I have realized I have become more graceful to others as well. :) Love your neighbor as yourself - depicts the grace you have for yourself also determines the grace you have for your neighbor. If you are stingy in your grace for yourselves, you will be stingy in giving grace to others...especially your loved ones...who need it very much as well being imperfect human beings.
The one dinner both Melvyn and I have on this date (25th October 2010) with ibu Shirley, and ayah David, the prayer meeting marks a change in my life. This date, I will never forget. These two people have made me realize so much about life within an hour of dinner. To go before God, broken, and deal with everything we have in life with God, not with one another or myself. Some solutions need grace from God..See...it is only very common that as human we often leave Him out of the picture, thinking that it is our own problems to solve. Its not His fault. Of course it is not His fault! But I came to realize that we need the grace of God, not because we have done anything wrong, but we need His grace to help us have grace on ourselves. Him being our example and model. The grace of God allows us to let God in to do a deep work in our lives to bring us to greater heights and new breakthroughs. And a lot of time we are too afraid to let Him in, because it means being pushed to an uncomfortable zone. But the fact is, He can only do deep works and spiritual operation when you are ready to come before Him, being graceful enough with yourself to accept the imperfections He about show you, the pain to go through and know that you need Him all the time...to deal with them. We need God to help us open up our conditional grace be it toward ourselves or others.
I thank God for these two people who come to shake hell's hole, sharing their lives, and breaking lies for me to see what I cannot see sometimes. Since the beginning of the year, this is the One thing I have been waiting ALL YEAR...Since beginning of the year, I felt that 2010 is going to be an amazing year of breakthroughs. This is indeed the best year of my life, because in this season, I have learned so so much that I couldn't imagine I would have learned all my life.
Grace is therefore a gift from God.....and also a CHOICE of your own (whether to give or to receive) :) .If you are struggling with certain weaknesses in your life or others' weaknesses, I just want to let you know...you are still worthy, they are still worthy... and it is not about being perfect. But it is about going on to perfection that concerns God. Have a little grace on yourself and others, it will take both you and the other person a long way
Therefore, I finally understood what it means when someone say.....You need the grace of God to carry on in life.....His grace is the benchmark...and His grace helps you to have grace on yourself :)
toodles~
In this season of life, I learned a lot. About myself, and about things in life. Yesterday, I spent whole day with a close friend of mine, Siew Min. Just chilling. We talked about life, about things we go through. Its pretty awesome to see how we both have come so far. Yet at the same time, each season, there are new things to battle, new things to learn, new things to fight for. What an exciting life I m living. All glory to Jesus :)
As I was pondering on my life today. I realized, being 8 year Christian, I have been really harsh to myself. I expect myself to be perfect, or at least be able to iron out most of the things already. But recent events really break me and make me humble. I thank God for all these. Have always tried to manage and balance things on my own, not realizing that I have pushed God aside in the solution part. Now I know, apart from doing my part, I cannot leave Him out of the picture. I always thought it was my own thing and I MUST force myself to solve it. But the truth is, I m just not perfect and I constantly need His grace.
Being in the working world has revealed a lot about myself too. For instance, I realized that I m not a very detailed person. I forget things easily. And at times I overlooked things. Well, do I have this problem before? Yes. But being a student, I wasn't forced to deal with this part of my life. I could still do well and manage. Now that I m working...how can I ignore details? It is totally ESSENTIAL.
So, these past few months, I feel rather bad as an employee, feel that I could not perform, and a lot of times beat myself up for being careless. Tried many ways to be more detailed, but as much as I try...there will still be things that I missed out. So I guess in my mind there is this battle, that I do not see myself as a good employee. Rather disappointed with how things are. Got scolded a few times by different people, and felt really bad about how things goes...going to work isn't exciting anymore.
Nonetheless, the more I try to solve it, the more I realize, there are more and more things to look into. So I ran to God....not knowing what else I could do as it is rather disappointing. Detailedness is indeed not my strength. And as much as I try, there will surely still be one or two things I forget. So as I was praying one night, God brought me to my past, and the first day when I worked. He asked me: Do I think I have improved very much in this detailedness area from day 1 I worked....I thought about it...."yea...indeed I did improve. But the point is, I still forget things, and I still upset people!" Then God asked me: "So you expect yourself to be totally flawless and perfect within a year you work? You have been like that for the past 23 years! Think about it....you have not been in this field before. You study psychology, there are so many new things which you have to relearn, many things are totally new to you...Can't you have some grace on yourself. The point is not whether you forget things or not, but the point is have you improved?"
God told me to think about the process I have been through and learn to appreciate my experiences. See, He is right. It is not that I m living in ignorance. But throughout the process, I have learned that I cannot do everything on my own. I need to learn to focus and prioritize, I need to learn to say NO to certain task with the things I already have at my hand, I took bullets before, I rough it out, I learn how is it like to talk to suppliers, to negotiate prices, to do a brochure, to manage a website, to talk to regional offices, to run an event, to do some social media marketing.....I have actually come quite far! :) ...Do I get better each day as I rough things out? I do! :)) See...this is the one thing that I fail to see time after time. I just want myself to "ting" and become "the perfect employee". LOL. Foolish? Yes.
*Pats on back* :) Well, that is just one of the examples. This season of life, is yet an amazing one for me. I rough through SO MANY issues in just one season. The transition period is the hardest most people say. They are totally right! Hahaha. You just have to get used with everything else which weren't there before. And you got to manage, learn, make mistakes, fall, getup, try, learn and all over again until you get it right!
But in the midst of all these, we often forget about one thing. That we need grace. The grace of God and the grace on ourselves. I have learned that, it is necessary that we have grace on ourselves, to learn that we are not perfect...and constantly we need God to be with us. Yes we can be disappointed, upset, frustrated, stressed up with life. But who do we go to? We go to God...be broken...and get restored, and tomorrow is a new day. I have learned this season very much, that when we have grace on ourselves, we perform better. We become more positive.
Using my workplace as an example: For the past month, I have been going to office everyday with a mind that today I will learn something new, today I m going to conquer all my work. Do I still struggle with the same thing? Yes. But m I more positive? totally. Even if I m being scolded, I realize I m learning to take it in more relaxedly in comparison to before. And I have become more THICK SKIN! Lol. My brothers told me that it is necessary to be thick skin when we work. If our skin is too thin, we can go for any job, but we will surely not last the distance. One scolding or mistreat, or unfairness will result in us resigning. Wow...now that is the first word of wisdom I heard from him :P hahaha...Kidding. He is an amazing brother. Love him a lot.
So.... with this grace we give, it tears down the expectation we have on ourselves to PERFORM beyond our own capability. Recognize our weaknesses, and continue to motivate ourselves to keep going instead of giving up. And most importantly, make us need God even more :) I cannot do anything without His grace. And...this grace on ourselves, is indeed very important. And it can only come, if we come broken before God, allowing Him to come in and enlighten a few things about us by receiving HIS grace. My ibu Shirley Boon calls this the breaking of false self image. hahaha! And I realize how important this grace is so that we won't constantly beat ourselves up and become wounded in our soul for not meeting our own CRAZY expectations (humans....). Not saying that we can have the passport to slack. But grace fuels us to keep going and acknowledges us that it is alright to make mistakes.
See, this is something common every Christian would tell you. In fact, I told many people about this too. But telling, and going through it, is really very different. It was a struggle for me as I haven't been graceful since my study years (beating myself up for not having expected results). And does this make me feel acceptant of myself as an imperfect human being? No!
But to be graceful is indeed something really essential as a human. That you have to acknowledge to YOURSELF, you are actually not perfect, or expected to be perfect. You are expected to learn along the way and become better. This past month, being graceful toward myself, I have realized I have become more graceful to others as well. :) Love your neighbor as yourself - depicts the grace you have for yourself also determines the grace you have for your neighbor. If you are stingy in your grace for yourselves, you will be stingy in giving grace to others...especially your loved ones...who need it very much as well being imperfect human beings.
The one dinner both Melvyn and I have on this date (25th October 2010) with ibu Shirley, and ayah David, the prayer meeting marks a change in my life. This date, I will never forget. These two people have made me realize so much about life within an hour of dinner. To go before God, broken, and deal with everything we have in life with God, not with one another or myself. Some solutions need grace from God..See...it is only very common that as human we often leave Him out of the picture, thinking that it is our own problems to solve. Its not His fault. Of course it is not His fault! But I came to realize that we need the grace of God, not because we have done anything wrong, but we need His grace to help us have grace on ourselves. Him being our example and model. The grace of God allows us to let God in to do a deep work in our lives to bring us to greater heights and new breakthroughs. And a lot of time we are too afraid to let Him in, because it means being pushed to an uncomfortable zone. But the fact is, He can only do deep works and spiritual operation when you are ready to come before Him, being graceful enough with yourself to accept the imperfections He about show you, the pain to go through and know that you need Him all the time...to deal with them. We need God to help us open up our conditional grace be it toward ourselves or others.
I thank God for these two people who come to shake hell's hole, sharing their lives, and breaking lies for me to see what I cannot see sometimes. Since the beginning of the year, this is the One thing I have been waiting ALL YEAR...Since beginning of the year, I felt that 2010 is going to be an amazing year of breakthroughs. This is indeed the best year of my life, because in this season, I have learned so so much that I couldn't imagine I would have learned all my life.
Grace is therefore a gift from God.....and also a CHOICE of your own (whether to give or to receive) :) .If you are struggling with certain weaknesses in your life or others' weaknesses, I just want to let you know...you are still worthy, they are still worthy... and it is not about being perfect. But it is about going on to perfection that concerns God. Have a little grace on yourself and others, it will take both you and the other person a long way
Therefore, I finally understood what it means when someone say.....You need the grace of God to carry on in life.....His grace is the benchmark...and His grace helps you to have grace on yourself :)
toodles~
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Root?
This morning after doing my devotion, as I was preparing for work...showering, I got my "Eureka" moment. Hmm...now I realize, recently I have been having a lot of "Aha" moments in the washroom. Good sign, good sign....at least it shows that time are well spent. Not wasted into nothing box or zooming into the blank sheet zone. Wanted to blog this all morning. Better blog this off before I enter into the endless printing spree...again
As I was saying, I was having this "Eureka" moment...All because I was thinking of someone very dear to my heart, currently doing what she is most passionate with in her job, doing what she knows best in different parts of the world. Haha...Yesterday, a few of us got in touch with this very person, and she was telling us about the culture shocks she experienced as she was travelling. Kinda cool to know.
Then as I was bathing, I was thinking to myself of the different cultures around the world, then I begin to think about mine! And I got in touch with the term "China man mindset". Now, not being discriminative, I love Chinese people (because I am obviously Chinese) and I have nothing against China and its way of doing things. It is just, differences in culture. And I appreciate that.
Then, I begin to think of the way my family is structured. Wow. This is really cool....the term "China man mindset" does not only apply to the business world. Talk about my family, I grow up in a very controlled, proper, well-disciplined family. Come to think of it, running a family is like running a small country, eh? My family could be adopting the idealogy of the China government. Haha. But then again, that's just a thought. (Don't wanna get sued for writing statements without basis in public :P)....
Recently I got to know that it is still a practice in China that boys and girls aren't allowed to sit together! They have to divide themselves. Wow...that sounds like my dearest daddy! Haha...even until I was 15 or 16, hanging out with boys in a GROUP is most of the time an offense to him! Or a guy friend offering me a ride, is totally unacceptable to him! He even claim that I can only get attached at the age of 25 (obviously I broke the rule :P). But then again, I know he is just being protective over his beloved daughter. Hee *love you daddy*
Then, there are rules and regulations, like girls having have to be more homely, learning to cook, wash the dishes, doll up, be pretty, have to be seen at home most of the time...in my family, guys can escape any house chores...but girls..or I would say GIRL (I am the only daughter) has to do most of the chores! Mom wouldn't mind if brothers doesn't wash their plates...but mom make a big fuss if daughter didn't wash hers. Haha...Good discipline I would say. According to mom, I need to serve my husband in all these in future...which is true to an extent. I wouldn't mind serving my husband, but I wouldn't mind a little help either!
Then it comes to guys being the head of the family, which is true...it is very biblical...but guys get to order the ladies around! Woot! Not that it happens all the time in my own primary family...most of us are modernized and received education on equality so on and so forth (well, at least I would fight for my rights...no chance for bullies ;P)....but I realize it happens in my extended family! The girls, being reserved and submissive...but to the extent that men get to have their says, and girls shouldn't comment so much. This is especially practiced by my Grandpa...and when girls have too much opinion...he would say: girls shouldn't talk so much....or my uncle saying: you are a girl! what do you know! Even my mom do agree to it occassionally...."we are girls, what do we know"...hmmm...I refuse to succumb to that. Yes, we are girl, yes we need to submit to the head of family, but I believe in the freedom of speech and opinions too. Haha..Oh well, as much as I would love giving my opinions, I still speak less in respect to my grandpa and uncles....Like what my mom always say: When you are under my roof, you succumb to my rules. Hah!
Haha...not complaining here....but I come to realize all these things....they are so related by the places we come from! I realize that not only in families, but also in certain nation, culture, schools, groups of friends...etc... it is hard to just come in and bring change, shake their boats a little, shake their faith a little, with something new. They can be so attached to old practices, that they find comfort sticking to it even when it is no longer effective in the modern times. Perhaps, people do find security in rigidity? Hmmm...something to think of.
And in a lot of places whereby freedom are not exactly easily found like the developed nations, the more you deprive the citizens of something, the more hungry they are for those things in their lives. In fact, it is most impactful to them because they don't come easy. Likewise, in my family, things are the same. The more our parents try to deprive us of something, the more desperate we are to cling on to it, and fight for it. For instance, the more my parents try to stop us from getting involved in BGR, the more we were desperate for it to try out! Or the more they try not to mention what they called "sensitive issues" (lets say forbid to eat ice cream..LOL) the more we want to find out (or the more we want to have it)! And boy....what chaos it was when information were discovered! We go underground, craving more once we got our hands on it (eating ice creams non stop in schools!) haha...this is ESPECIALLY TRUE for rebellious boys...*ahem*...and I won't deny, it has been true, even till today for me in certain areas of my life. Areas I am not accepted for, areas that I am not given liberty, and by force was obliged to submit... Hmm....ain't it a great thought? Maybe I should try deprive my members of certain things for them to be hungry for it. Haha!
Just kidding. I think I should send them to certain places for them to observe culture, differences, and start appreciating what they have currently.
No wonder, attending Piper's Ministry, they actually teach us that there are certain spirits you will inherit coming from different nations! Now I understand why. It is true to certain extent that where you come from, does affect your upbringing, your mindsets, your thoughts, the things you find security in. And especially if it has been a practice for a long long long long time....you would find it even hard to break away from this rigidity. But as a believer, I am glad, I discover this truth....and I find that breaking away from rigidity, is a constant thing we need to do as the world evolve. As things improve. Now we wouldn't want to be labeled as backward, or irrelevant, would we?
Understanding this, makes me have more compassion for people around me. And I admit sometimes being human, I can disagree and really dislike certain values in my very own family. But understanding all these, it makes me realize why certain thoughts are being wired that way....and that I need to give more grace and compassion. I need to understand, the kind of emotions, the kind of wavelength that goes on in the brains, and what kind of anxiety they go through....I begin to love my family more. I begin to have more compassion, more grace, more understanding rather than judgments. *sweet sigh*
Thank You, God for this "Eureka" moments.
No wonder Chinese are so grounded to sticking to their roots. It makes them feel really belong to one another, and more than that, understand and love one another even more. Haha.
I LOVE MY FAMILY!
As I was saying, I was having this "Eureka" moment...All because I was thinking of someone very dear to my heart, currently doing what she is most passionate with in her job, doing what she knows best in different parts of the world. Haha...Yesterday, a few of us got in touch with this very person, and she was telling us about the culture shocks she experienced as she was travelling. Kinda cool to know.
Then as I was bathing, I was thinking to myself of the different cultures around the world, then I begin to think about mine! And I got in touch with the term "China man mindset". Now, not being discriminative, I love Chinese people (because I am obviously Chinese) and I have nothing against China and its way of doing things. It is just, differences in culture. And I appreciate that.
Then, I begin to think of the way my family is structured. Wow. This is really cool....the term "China man mindset" does not only apply to the business world. Talk about my family, I grow up in a very controlled, proper, well-disciplined family. Come to think of it, running a family is like running a small country, eh? My family could be adopting the idealogy of the China government. Haha. But then again, that's just a thought. (Don't wanna get sued for writing statements without basis in public :P)....
Recently I got to know that it is still a practice in China that boys and girls aren't allowed to sit together! They have to divide themselves. Wow...that sounds like my dearest daddy! Haha...even until I was 15 or 16, hanging out with boys in a GROUP is most of the time an offense to him! Or a guy friend offering me a ride, is totally unacceptable to him! He even claim that I can only get attached at the age of 25 (obviously I broke the rule :P). But then again, I know he is just being protective over his beloved daughter. Hee *love you daddy*
Then, there are rules and regulations, like girls having have to be more homely, learning to cook, wash the dishes, doll up, be pretty, have to be seen at home most of the time...in my family, guys can escape any house chores...but girls..or I would say GIRL (I am the only daughter) has to do most of the chores! Mom wouldn't mind if brothers doesn't wash their plates...but mom make a big fuss if daughter didn't wash hers. Haha...Good discipline I would say. According to mom, I need to serve my husband in all these in future...which is true to an extent. I wouldn't mind serving my husband, but I wouldn't mind a little help either!
Then it comes to guys being the head of the family, which is true...it is very biblical...but guys get to order the ladies around! Woot! Not that it happens all the time in my own primary family...most of us are modernized and received education on equality so on and so forth (well, at least I would fight for my rights...no chance for bullies ;P)....but I realize it happens in my extended family! The girls, being reserved and submissive...but to the extent that men get to have their says, and girls shouldn't comment so much. This is especially practiced by my Grandpa...and when girls have too much opinion...he would say: girls shouldn't talk so much....or my uncle saying: you are a girl! what do you know! Even my mom do agree to it occassionally...."we are girls, what do we know"...hmmm...I refuse to succumb to that. Yes, we are girl, yes we need to submit to the head of family, but I believe in the freedom of speech and opinions too. Haha..Oh well, as much as I would love giving my opinions, I still speak less in respect to my grandpa and uncles....Like what my mom always say: When you are under my roof, you succumb to my rules. Hah!
Haha...not complaining here....but I come to realize all these things....they are so related by the places we come from! I realize that not only in families, but also in certain nation, culture, schools, groups of friends...etc... it is hard to just come in and bring change, shake their boats a little, shake their faith a little, with something new. They can be so attached to old practices, that they find comfort sticking to it even when it is no longer effective in the modern times. Perhaps, people do find security in rigidity? Hmmm...something to think of.
And in a lot of places whereby freedom are not exactly easily found like the developed nations, the more you deprive the citizens of something, the more hungry they are for those things in their lives. In fact, it is most impactful to them because they don't come easy. Likewise, in my family, things are the same. The more our parents try to deprive us of something, the more desperate we are to cling on to it, and fight for it. For instance, the more my parents try to stop us from getting involved in BGR, the more we were desperate for it to try out! Or the more they try not to mention what they called "sensitive issues" (lets say forbid to eat ice cream..LOL) the more we want to find out (or the more we want to have it)! And boy....what chaos it was when information were discovered! We go underground, craving more once we got our hands on it (eating ice creams non stop in schools!) haha...this is ESPECIALLY TRUE for rebellious boys...*ahem*...and I won't deny, it has been true, even till today for me in certain areas of my life. Areas I am not accepted for, areas that I am not given liberty, and by force was obliged to submit... Hmm....ain't it a great thought? Maybe I should try deprive my members of certain things for them to be hungry for it. Haha!
Just kidding. I think I should send them to certain places for them to observe culture, differences, and start appreciating what they have currently.
No wonder, attending Piper's Ministry, they actually teach us that there are certain spirits you will inherit coming from different nations! Now I understand why. It is true to certain extent that where you come from, does affect your upbringing, your mindsets, your thoughts, the things you find security in. And especially if it has been a practice for a long long long long time....you would find it even hard to break away from this rigidity. But as a believer, I am glad, I discover this truth....and I find that breaking away from rigidity, is a constant thing we need to do as the world evolve. As things improve. Now we wouldn't want to be labeled as backward, or irrelevant, would we?
Understanding this, makes me have more compassion for people around me. And I admit sometimes being human, I can disagree and really dislike certain values in my very own family. But understanding all these, it makes me realize why certain thoughts are being wired that way....and that I need to give more grace and compassion. I need to understand, the kind of emotions, the kind of wavelength that goes on in the brains, and what kind of anxiety they go through....I begin to love my family more. I begin to have more compassion, more grace, more understanding rather than judgments. *sweet sigh*
Thank You, God for this "Eureka" moments.
No wonder Chinese are so grounded to sticking to their roots. It makes them feel really belong to one another, and more than that, understand and love one another even more. Haha.
I LOVE MY FAMILY!
Alright, time to go full force with work! Woosh~
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Starting A Love Revolution
On my way home, the long journey back from Taiping, I manage to catch some reading on the "Love Revolution" written by Joyce Meyer (most of the journey I was half asleep :P)...I read on how love revolution should come about, and boy...Joyce Meyer is amazing.
She mentioned that there was once she asked God, how can He see the hurts and pains in the world and do nothing? And then God answered her: That is why He need His people as a vessel to do something in this fallen world. Often we talk about how fallen today's world is, how bad things are this and that....but rarely, any of us actually take any action to do something about it. We all agree that the world needs help, needs love....but none of us actually step out and be the one in the field,doing the helping, the loving. All we could do was just throw words like "somebody should do something!"....somebody who? somebody but not me....!
Reading that book....ONLY the first chapter, I really felt tears welling in my eyes. I read the short articles she posted up about sex trafficking, sex slavery, children who know nothing but their bodies being abused, malnutrition, street kids....Who is there to put a stop to this? Who is there to tell them there's hope, there are more to life? Often we are so caught up with preaching the gospel of love, when the one thing they need is really....just an act of love! We fail to do that....we go around these people, giving them tracts about the gospel....But we did not go into their lives, step into their world, get our hands dirty...and let them know there are still others who care about their lives....who love them. Are we then, a salt that make a difference in this world? Or a salt that loses it taste? or a lamp under the shades....not shining?
After reading that, with deep compassion in my heart....I told God in my very own simple prayer....
Dear God,
- I want to help children in sex slavery
- I want to help children without homes
- I want to do something about malnutrition problem
- I want to help defiant and rebellious people
- I wanna give them a sense of hope, destiny, purpose and dreams, a greater vision to live for
- I want them to know they worth far greater than what the society has define them and
- I hope to make a difference in the lives of the children who has no power to change their circumstances
In fact, I have prayed this prayer before. But that's it! Nothing more. A wishful thinking...So, I told Melvyn about it as he was driving along the rainy highway. Thus, after reaching KL, and catching a movie (The Sorceror's Apprentice....BOY, its a MUST WATCH! ...very good)....Melvyn decided to take me for a little tour in KL....He said this: Bee, I will bring you to the world that needs Christ very much.
He drove me around Chow Kit Road. And the common people should know what to expect there. Many broken people without homes, prostitutes, lusting men.....people who probably lose recognition of their own identities...I don't know. According to Melvyn, what I saw tonight was very very minimal. Usually there were more around. The sight of it was devastating. Not that they were ugly, or there was anything obscene. They were just merely standing by the streets. But it breaks my heart to see them having have to do that. To not know the true meaning to life! There are so many ways to earn....do they know that? Or are they bounded to syndicates...what is exactly going on?
Is there anyone to help them? Is there anyone to stop this? Is there anyone to love them, letting them know how much they worth...and that there are more things to do! Is there anything to be done! I really wish I know what I can do. I hope I can make a difference...Compassion is not enough. Something needs to be done. Someone needs to let them know they are loved....not for the services they can give....but for WHO THEY REALLY ARE! Someone needs to let them know, there is no need to give and yet they can freely receive love without condition....This is LOVE REVOLUTION.
I want to start a LOVE REVOLUTION. So badly. It is easy...well, I won't say totally easy...but it is definitely easier to show love to those who comes to cell group, fellowship with us....those who are within the circles of our reach. People who are at least more similar, or rather do not divert that far from our values. It is easier to be in touch with those (even though may have very messy past or lives) who are naturally more in par with where we come from. But what about those who are really really different? Those who have been devalued all their lives? Those who are totally not within our reach? The poor, the needy, the abused, those out in the brutal streets? Those who need to fight for survival eversince they were little kids? Those without a chance for proper education, or even a home? What about those whom these words "I understand" is not applicable because we truly cannot begin to understand or imagine the ordeals and pains they need to go through? How do you revive trust, and love for those whose love and hope has been shattered to pieces, thrown down the drain, trampled over and over and over and over again?
What can we do? What can I do. I have compassion. But what can I actually DO? Where do I start? How do I go about it? What can I provide? Is there an actual, trustable, truly loving resource that is able to give hope (not false hope), security and love to them?
Really...Lately God has given me so much ideas, so many things to do. I have begin to think of new ways to expand in career....Now, I am being challenged to be more radical in loving the people God loves. Fuh, maybe should tell God to give a pause for me to cope all first. Else, everything become NATO. No action, Talk Only. haha.
Seriously, my qustion is, where do I start? Can I find a proper, genuine foundation to be involved with on this? Hmm....this is really something to think about.
Let's start a Love Revolution, shall we?
(Wow...Imagine, reading the 1st chapter spark so much thoughts! Can't wait to finish the whole book...must be totally life-changing)
My two cents.
Night, world. God loves you. I love you too.
She mentioned that there was once she asked God, how can He see the hurts and pains in the world and do nothing? And then God answered her: That is why He need His people as a vessel to do something in this fallen world. Often we talk about how fallen today's world is, how bad things are this and that....but rarely, any of us actually take any action to do something about it. We all agree that the world needs help, needs love....but none of us actually step out and be the one in the field,doing the helping, the loving. All we could do was just throw words like "somebody should do something!"....somebody who? somebody but not me....!
Reading that book....ONLY the first chapter, I really felt tears welling in my eyes. I read the short articles she posted up about sex trafficking, sex slavery, children who know nothing but their bodies being abused, malnutrition, street kids....Who is there to put a stop to this? Who is there to tell them there's hope, there are more to life? Often we are so caught up with preaching the gospel of love, when the one thing they need is really....just an act of love! We fail to do that....we go around these people, giving them tracts about the gospel....But we did not go into their lives, step into their world, get our hands dirty...and let them know there are still others who care about their lives....who love them. Are we then, a salt that make a difference in this world? Or a salt that loses it taste? or a lamp under the shades....not shining?
After reading that, with deep compassion in my heart....I told God in my very own simple prayer....
Dear God,
- I want to help children in sex slavery
- I want to help children without homes
- I want to do something about malnutrition problem
- I want to help defiant and rebellious people
- I wanna give them a sense of hope, destiny, purpose and dreams, a greater vision to live for
- I want them to know they worth far greater than what the society has define them and
- I hope to make a difference in the lives of the children who has no power to change their circumstances
In fact, I have prayed this prayer before. But that's it! Nothing more. A wishful thinking...So, I told Melvyn about it as he was driving along the rainy highway. Thus, after reaching KL, and catching a movie (The Sorceror's Apprentice....BOY, its a MUST WATCH! ...very good)....Melvyn decided to take me for a little tour in KL....He said this: Bee, I will bring you to the world that needs Christ very much.
He drove me around Chow Kit Road. And the common people should know what to expect there. Many broken people without homes, prostitutes, lusting men.....people who probably lose recognition of their own identities...I don't know. According to Melvyn, what I saw tonight was very very minimal. Usually there were more around. The sight of it was devastating. Not that they were ugly, or there was anything obscene. They were just merely standing by the streets. But it breaks my heart to see them having have to do that. To not know the true meaning to life! There are so many ways to earn....do they know that? Or are they bounded to syndicates...what is exactly going on?
Is there anyone to help them? Is there anyone to stop this? Is there anyone to love them, letting them know how much they worth...and that there are more things to do! Is there anything to be done! I really wish I know what I can do. I hope I can make a difference...Compassion is not enough. Something needs to be done. Someone needs to let them know they are loved....not for the services they can give....but for WHO THEY REALLY ARE! Someone needs to let them know, there is no need to give and yet they can freely receive love without condition....This is LOVE REVOLUTION.
I want to start a LOVE REVOLUTION. So badly. It is easy...well, I won't say totally easy...but it is definitely easier to show love to those who comes to cell group, fellowship with us....those who are within the circles of our reach. People who are at least more similar, or rather do not divert that far from our values. It is easier to be in touch with those (even though may have very messy past or lives) who are naturally more in par with where we come from. But what about those who are really really different? Those who have been devalued all their lives? Those who are totally not within our reach? The poor, the needy, the abused, those out in the brutal streets? Those who need to fight for survival eversince they were little kids? Those without a chance for proper education, or even a home? What about those whom these words "I understand" is not applicable because we truly cannot begin to understand or imagine the ordeals and pains they need to go through? How do you revive trust, and love for those whose love and hope has been shattered to pieces, thrown down the drain, trampled over and over and over and over again?
What can we do? What can I do. I have compassion. But what can I actually DO? Where do I start? How do I go about it? What can I provide? Is there an actual, trustable, truly loving resource that is able to give hope (not false hope), security and love to them?
Really...Lately God has given me so much ideas, so many things to do. I have begin to think of new ways to expand in career....Now, I am being challenged to be more radical in loving the people God loves. Fuh, maybe should tell God to give a pause for me to cope all first. Else, everything become NATO. No action, Talk Only. haha.
Seriously, my qustion is, where do I start? Can I find a proper, genuine foundation to be involved with on this? Hmm....this is really something to think about.
Let's start a Love Revolution, shall we?
(Wow...Imagine, reading the 1st chapter spark so much thoughts! Can't wait to finish the whole book...must be totally life-changing)
My two cents.
Night, world. God loves you. I love you too.
Friday, July 23, 2010
22.7.2010
It has been long since I blogged.
Would like to record down the very important moments in my life.
Apart from being attached currently (LOL...surely you have a lot of revelations and depend on God more than ever)....I have been feeling that something within was awaiting to breakthrough.
Recently I couldn't stop thanking God that I am alive at a time such as this. Being such a dynamic church. My mind has been constantly blown away again and again and again...From Asia Conference, to Services with AR Bernard, To Pastor Andrew Gray, and then Pastor John Andrews...
Just felt something within expanded. And I begin to think of ways to really do more things, within the CG, with my life, with my family, with my work....Just felt my perception change altogether and especially now being in a relationship, I believe both Melvyn and I can do even more to bring down the Kingdom of God...
I was amazed by all these amazing speakers challenging my mindset, my heart over and over again....and wow...God is just amazing. Perhaps I should consider going SOT sooner! Hahaha....Hmm...but right now, whatever revelation He has given me, is more than enough for me to work for at this stage.
Can't wait to hear more, see more and do more with God...! Woooohoooo!!
Loving Jesus more and more everyday!
Would like to record down the very important moments in my life.
Apart from being attached currently (LOL...surely you have a lot of revelations and depend on God more than ever)....I have been feeling that something within was awaiting to breakthrough.
Recently I couldn't stop thanking God that I am alive at a time such as this. Being such a dynamic church. My mind has been constantly blown away again and again and again...From Asia Conference, to Services with AR Bernard, To Pastor Andrew Gray, and then Pastor John Andrews...
Just felt something within expanded. And I begin to think of ways to really do more things, within the CG, with my life, with my family, with my work....Just felt my perception change altogether and especially now being in a relationship, I believe both Melvyn and I can do even more to bring down the Kingdom of God...
I was amazed by all these amazing speakers challenging my mindset, my heart over and over again....and wow...God is just amazing. Perhaps I should consider going SOT sooner! Hahaha....Hmm...but right now, whatever revelation He has given me, is more than enough for me to work for at this stage.
Can't wait to hear more, see more and do more with God...! Woooohoooo!!
Loving Jesus more and more everyday!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Birthday Celebration 2010
Today, I had a delayed, elaborated and wonderful celebration with my cell members. They lied to me....saying that they were suppose to celebrate Charis' birthday...and lied to Charis that they were suppose to celebrate my birthday! Haha...Ok...I thought to myself...that is quite a smart move, eh? However, this is what my cute members did. They rented the Station ONE stage, and made a deal with station one that they can sing a few songs. Melvyn, Yi Zhen and Kevin Rimas were present too!
So the moment we stepped in, they sang some "jolly fellow" song to welcome us. And that was finally when we realized they were celebrating both our birthdays. And then...sat us down directly in front of the stage. Jireh and Grace, emcees of the night.....Jireh fill up the gap of time onstage with some other emo songs. We had personal waitresses (Tress and Grace), getting our orders (fuh...talk about efficiency, we acted before the waiter comes to take order). WUAH...felt like a princess honestly! All needs MET!
Then, while waiting for our food...my members went up onstage again and sang the song....The Climb...by Miley Cyrus....this song touches my heart the most, looking at everyone of them singing with all their heart. Those who are close to me, they would indeed know this song means something to all of us as cell group members. Haha...:) So touched!
Then each of them, went onstage one by one, shared their testimonies and hearts out about how they truly appreciate Charis and me (will upload their testimonies soon). We were both beyond speechless. Didn't realize that they could remember all the things done together! Some I couldn't even remember if I did :)....Truly a touching moment. Huhuhu~ T_T
Then, after some singings, makan, we played some game (Sabo people drink weird drink), then present presentation!!! tanaaa...
speaking about present. my choir member celebrated my birthday last Saturday too! With the sampat people...and boy!! They gave me a super wonderful big present!!! See...see...xP
Not only them, Shirley, my beautiful, anointed, special leadear...and some few close people in subzone were there to celebrate Anna and my birthday too! Gosh...we are so blessed and honored!! :) Feel so LOVED! :D
So back to my cell members celebration, after everything, some sharing on my part...touching touching...singing that's what friends are for...(so cute right?...we actually sang it so loud in station one....competing with the stereo...haha)....Kevin praying for us....we went home.
I really enjoyed the birthday. Beyond the celebration, the thing that cause me to feel really loved, blessed and honored....is looking back at their lives before...and now...how they came a long way to where they are today...how they fought, struggle through, decide, fall, get up...and just keep going......I feel so privileged to be loved by these amazing bunch of people.....they do not know this, but it is truly an honor that I am given the opportunity to be part of their lives...I wouldn't want to have it any other way...They are indeed my family! :)
Love all of you. Keep shining, keep smiling knowing you (I) can always count on me (you)...for sure! That's what friends are FOR!
:)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Empowerment Meeting!
Last Sunday, I went to Chinese Church to draw from my ever beloved leader, Shirley Boon. Boy, her message yet again so relevant and so.......NECESSARY!! I think I need to do that whenever I am free on Sundays. Her ONE word always changes life.
After listening to her message, immediately that Sunday itself, I decided, I need to have an empowerment meeting. I need to preach and motivate my core about this! About seeking God. It is so important.We often know the why, but not the what...not how to do it....we are too used to the routine. Becoming robots, that we lose the true reason behind it all. The truth is, you don't pray because you have problems, you don't pray because you are a Christian, you don't pray because you have to fulfill a religious duty....you pray TO LOVE!
Ok, I cannot begin to tell you the sermon now, else I would be violating her copyright XP....hehee...anyway....I wrote everything down that Sunday morning....and I was eager to start an empowerment meeting that very day. My members couldn't make it on Sunday night, so we shift it to Wednesday. That Tuesday night I was in Shirley's place just chatting away with few others...etc....and then I told her I need to prepare my empowerment meeting material for Wednesday night. I didn't even tell her I was going to share what she preached last Sunday. She just told me...let me send you my last Sunday's material in English Version! I was SOOOOOOO shocked. How did she even know my heart? Haha... and I nodded eagerly of course! That would make life SO MUCH easier!
So last night, we had empowerment meeting. The presence of God was so strong. It was such a joy to see these people experiencing continual revival in their hearts, drawing and clinging on to the presence of God...Just worshipping Him...and that's it! No agenda. A lot of time core members always have to rush this rush that for cell group, for service, make sure things are taken care of.....it is good...but there are TOO MANY NOISES. Rarely, people would take time to just sit down and listen...and just enjoy the presence of God. Sometimes, they don't even know how....or forget how to draw from the presence of God again. But last night....it was just us...soaking in the presence of God. Period.
Last challenge I left for them to ponder....and for all of you as well.....
Truly to seek God, you need to die to yourself. But would you rather leave everything that you DESIRE and WANT to just be in the presence of God.....or decide to pursue your dreams, achieve success, go after everything you want....but lose the presence of God forever? :) sometimes you cannot have both. Sometimes, some things need to be sacrificed. What would you do?:)
Jeng Jeng Jeng.
Let's be empowered ourselves by seeking God's face every single day. That you will not move or go anywhere without the presence of God with you. You do not need an empowerment meeting to experience God time in time out. You just need one thing....desperation for God.
toodles!
After listening to her message, immediately that Sunday itself, I decided, I need to have an empowerment meeting. I need to preach and motivate my core about this! About seeking God. It is so important.We often know the why, but not the what...not how to do it....we are too used to the routine. Becoming robots, that we lose the true reason behind it all. The truth is, you don't pray because you have problems, you don't pray because you are a Christian, you don't pray because you have to fulfill a religious duty....you pray TO LOVE!
Ok, I cannot begin to tell you the sermon now, else I would be violating her copyright XP....hehee...anyway....I wrote everything down that Sunday morning....and I was eager to start an empowerment meeting that very day. My members couldn't make it on Sunday night, so we shift it to Wednesday. That Tuesday night I was in Shirley's place just chatting away with few others...etc....and then I told her I need to prepare my empowerment meeting material for Wednesday night. I didn't even tell her I was going to share what she preached last Sunday. She just told me...let me send you my last Sunday's material in English Version! I was SOOOOOOO shocked. How did she even know my heart? Haha... and I nodded eagerly of course! That would make life SO MUCH easier!
So last night, we had empowerment meeting. The presence of God was so strong. It was such a joy to see these people experiencing continual revival in their hearts, drawing and clinging on to the presence of God...Just worshipping Him...and that's it! No agenda. A lot of time core members always have to rush this rush that for cell group, for service, make sure things are taken care of.....it is good...but there are TOO MANY NOISES. Rarely, people would take time to just sit down and listen...and just enjoy the presence of God. Sometimes, they don't even know how....or forget how to draw from the presence of God again. But last night....it was just us...soaking in the presence of God. Period.
Last challenge I left for them to ponder....and for all of you as well.....
Truly to seek God, you need to die to yourself. But would you rather leave everything that you DESIRE and WANT to just be in the presence of God.....or decide to pursue your dreams, achieve success, go after everything you want....but lose the presence of God forever? :) sometimes you cannot have both. Sometimes, some things need to be sacrificed. What would you do?:)
Jeng Jeng Jeng.
Let's be empowered ourselves by seeking God's face every single day. That you will not move or go anywhere without the presence of God with you. You do not need an empowerment meeting to experience God time in time out. You just need one thing....desperation for God.
toodles!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Internet Down
Won't be able to online for many more days to come in Taiping. In fact, haven't been really onlining for 3 weeks.....pfftt
Currently in dad's office trying to load myself with the countless numbers of email. woohoo! fun. Anything urgent, do not hesitate to call me or sms me peeps. Till I see all of you again (very soon)....Happyy Chinese New Year!!!! :D
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Doing it Right!
I learned a really really valuable lesson today. Last night, as I was challenging my member to do the right thing, the morning, I was faced with the dilemma of doing what is right but could possibly jeopardize the trust of another person, or keep the trust, and just ignore doing the right thing. Then I repeatedly questioned myself, if I was in the position of advising a member, what would I have asked him or her to do?
Then immediately, I decided, I wanted to do the right thing. Regardless of the consequences, I just want to live up to my words, and also because I truly truly want one thing only. That my focus would be God. Doing His will, doing what pleases Him. Not the world. Not an easy decision, as I would honestly admit that the moment it was done, there were so many things running through my mind. Negative consequences, and what possibly would happen.
Then, I suddenly was reminded by my member, telling me that he could not bear the thought of his future. And it struck me like a rebuke. Immediately I texted a best friend, and I prayed. God spoke one thing to me: "Hazel, it is no longer about whether people would understand or not, it is about doing the right thing. Your focus is Me, and nothing else." Right then, I just felt peace, I moved on and I was happy. Liberated that I have done the right thing, and I no longer want to allow whatever thoughts to make me worry about something that has not even happen. Or rather, worry about things that should not even affect me. I just find peace that I have done the right thing. And that's it. No burdens!
I was very happy with my new found peace. Few hours later, I received a call from a person, and find that everything was totally awesome. My suspicion of negative reactions of consequences were way pass behind. God made it all happen for good. The person was blessed, I was blessed. I felt so much better that I was not just a kisser, but I did what was necessary for a good cause. Then, minutes later, I received a call from my member. He told me he did the right thing, and it turned out well too.
That moment, I felt the presence of God overwhelming me. It was an assuring feeling that doing the right thing can never go wrong. That I have lived up to what I preached. That He always have my back. Even though if it is a risk, even though others may not understand...But when you choose to act beyond your emotions, beyond your imagination, beyond your perception of how the consequences would be, beyond what you can comprehend....(JUST DO IT RIGHT)....and when your focus is right, it all turned out just so amazingly well.
Truly, I emphasize, it is not always comfortable, easy or popular to do the right thing. But when you choose to do it despite of the risk you are putting yourself into, you will never regret it. Because you rest in the fact, that you have done what is necessary, and you have done the will of God. No burdens....=)
God is so amazing. I love life, and I love learning so much about all these. I may make mistakes at times, but I m really enjoying this journey so much. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me in times to come. And most of all, I want to fall in love with Him...again and again.
Then immediately, I decided, I wanted to do the right thing. Regardless of the consequences, I just want to live up to my words, and also because I truly truly want one thing only. That my focus would be God. Doing His will, doing what pleases Him. Not the world. Not an easy decision, as I would honestly admit that the moment it was done, there were so many things running through my mind. Negative consequences, and what possibly would happen.
Then, I suddenly was reminded by my member, telling me that he could not bear the thought of his future. And it struck me like a rebuke. Immediately I texted a best friend, and I prayed. God spoke one thing to me: "Hazel, it is no longer about whether people would understand or not, it is about doing the right thing. Your focus is Me, and nothing else." Right then, I just felt peace, I moved on and I was happy. Liberated that I have done the right thing, and I no longer want to allow whatever thoughts to make me worry about something that has not even happen. Or rather, worry about things that should not even affect me. I just find peace that I have done the right thing. And that's it. No burdens!
I was very happy with my new found peace. Few hours later, I received a call from a person, and find that everything was totally awesome. My suspicion of negative reactions of consequences were way pass behind. God made it all happen for good. The person was blessed, I was blessed. I felt so much better that I was not just a kisser, but I did what was necessary for a good cause. Then, minutes later, I received a call from my member. He told me he did the right thing, and it turned out well too.
That moment, I felt the presence of God overwhelming me. It was an assuring feeling that doing the right thing can never go wrong. That I have lived up to what I preached. That He always have my back. Even though if it is a risk, even though others may not understand...But when you choose to act beyond your emotions, beyond your imagination, beyond your perception of how the consequences would be, beyond what you can comprehend....(JUST DO IT RIGHT)....and when your focus is right, it all turned out just so amazingly well.
Truly, I emphasize, it is not always comfortable, easy or popular to do the right thing. But when you choose to do it despite of the risk you are putting yourself into, you will never regret it. Because you rest in the fact, that you have done what is necessary, and you have done the will of God. No burdens....=)
God is so amazing. I love life, and I love learning so much about all these. I may make mistakes at times, but I m really enjoying this journey so much. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me in times to come. And most of all, I want to fall in love with Him...again and again.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Learning to Surrender
A baby step at a time.
Learning to surrender totally, knowing that my future will be taken care of.
Doing what I can on my part, and letting go what I cannot hold on to.
Humbling myself....shedding off the worries.
Finding rest in the place I surrender.... =)
Feels awesome!
Learning to surrender totally, knowing that my future will be taken care of.
Doing what I can on my part, and letting go what I cannot hold on to.
Humbling myself....shedding off the worries.
Finding rest in the place I surrender.... =)
Feels awesome!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Journey of E30 and E45
download the slides here :)
microsoft powerpoint 2007. should there be problems with the sequence or music file, let me know :)
microsoft powerpoint 2007. should there be problems with the sequence or music file, let me know :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Another song!
Entitled: Closer
Inspired by Min-ie Choong through a telephone call.
Uuhh...ooohh...and I am graduating soon! YipeeeEEee!! May not be one of the best students nor the creamsss of the crop, but I am satisfied with the results I get. Goal achieved! One of 2009 resolution ACCOMPLISHED! Yeah! =))))
Inspired by Min-ie Choong through a telephone call.
Uuhh...ooohh...and I am graduating soon! YipeeeEEee!! May not be one of the best students nor the creamsss of the crop, but I am satisfied with the results I get. Goal achieved! One of 2009 resolution ACCOMPLISHED! Yeah! =))))
Transition Period & Missing you missing me!
Past few weeks till the very day, I have received many messages and posts about my members missing me. So to E30 and E45, just so you guys know, I miss all of you very very very much as well. You guys are like family to me. 2010 is a bigger journey for all of us. So sad beginning of this year I am unable to be there to experience the heat together. But, I believe you guys can feel my 'kerinduan' from afar. Haha. And I have heard so many stories, breakthroughs, passions and fire about all of you. I m really really proud of how all of you have grown.
Thank you guys, for always sustaining me, running my vision, and making things happen. I truly truly appreciate you guys so so much. *sobs*
Truly the best is yet to come, amen? 2010 we are going to penetrate new areas and do greater things for God.
Currently in hometown, and I love being at home. So relaxed, so taken care of, and prone to laziness...hahaha....However, this holiday, I have learned so much, that I believed it is preparing me for the next season. I have gone through things here, as well as have many realisations. Like I always say, I love holidays. It is these times that I am not occupied by too many things, and are able to draw near to God.
I have also been preparing myself for a transition season to the working world, working life. Cannot be not disciplined anymore. Need to sleep early. Have to learn to manage finances even more now, since I am already taking full responsibilities of my own finances, and also have to learn to adapt to the working world (don't know what to expect as I always say that I m not street smart). Learning to be practical!
Going through this period, I realized that I can be overly worried about things at times. I often have the inclination of wanting to plan and make things perfect! No room for mistakes! But the fact is human will make mistakes and it is okay to bang a few walls and learn from them. So I have decided to be less judgmental about my capability in adapting to the working world, and less fearful of consequences that are not even happening! I indeed cannot do much, but with God....I am limitless, man! Haha...I can do anything. I am invincible :P
So here it is! I am preparing myself....and I believe I am gonna be awesome. I will learn and do great. I am believing God for a great experience and journey with Him once again this year in 2010. I have a feeling I am gonna really be directed toward my destiny this year. It would be a clearer picture. CAN'T WAIT to see what is in store! It's gonna be the best year yet. Like what Pastor Derek said: Glory to glory...Woohoo! I am excited! And I am excited about seeing my college mates, cell members, choir members, outreach members, friends, leaders again!
With Love!
Thank you guys, for always sustaining me, running my vision, and making things happen. I truly truly appreciate you guys so so much. *sobs*
Truly the best is yet to come, amen? 2010 we are going to penetrate new areas and do greater things for God.
Currently in hometown, and I love being at home. So relaxed, so taken care of, and prone to laziness...hahaha....However, this holiday, I have learned so much, that I believed it is preparing me for the next season. I have gone through things here, as well as have many realisations. Like I always say, I love holidays. It is these times that I am not occupied by too many things, and are able to draw near to God.
I have also been preparing myself for a transition season to the working world, working life. Cannot be not disciplined anymore. Need to sleep early. Have to learn to manage finances even more now, since I am already taking full responsibilities of my own finances, and also have to learn to adapt to the working world (don't know what to expect as I always say that I m not street smart). Learning to be practical!
Going through this period, I realized that I can be overly worried about things at times. I often have the inclination of wanting to plan and make things perfect! No room for mistakes! But the fact is human will make mistakes and it is okay to bang a few walls and learn from them. So I have decided to be less judgmental about my capability in adapting to the working world, and less fearful of consequences that are not even happening! I indeed cannot do much, but with God....I am limitless, man! Haha...I can do anything. I am invincible :P
So here it is! I am preparing myself....and I believe I am gonna be awesome. I will learn and do great. I am believing God for a great experience and journey with Him once again this year in 2010. I have a feeling I am gonna really be directed toward my destiny this year. It would be a clearer picture. CAN'T WAIT to see what is in store! It's gonna be the best year yet. Like what Pastor Derek said: Glory to glory...Woohoo! I am excited! And I am excited about seeing my college mates, cell members, choir members, outreach members, friends, leaders again!
With Love!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
It's not easy....
I was just chatting with a very close girl friend last night.
It is not easy we both agree....
To live in a non christian setting where there is little grace and mercy,
Trying to live an example in a place where there is little support,
Reason why?
Gotten used to the fact that we are brought up in a certain way,
And when we stepped home, somehow the OLD TIME laziness creeped in,
The danger does not come when you are faced with temptation, nor when you fall...the danger comes when you gave up trying...and just succumb to whatever comes, and stop caring about what is most important
So don't give up my friend. Whatever battles you are fighting. It is worth it :))
It is not easy we both agree....
To live in a non christian setting where there is little grace and mercy,
Trying to live an example in a place where there is little support,
Reason why?
All our lives living in that same home,
We have gotten used to the environment,
We have gotten used to the way we talk to our siblings, our parents....and it is very difficult to change itGotten used to the fact that we are brought up in a certain way,
And when we stepped home, somehow the OLD TIME laziness creeped in,
But those things we never experience when we are far from home! Somehow when you get into the comforts of home, everything else seems to be harder. And it hits you even harder when your family begin to connect your weaknesses and your bad habits with your beliefs!
But both me and my dear friend agreed. That these are all merely excuses. Truly, as in psychology we study, it is very easy to be susceptible to your old habits when you are in a familiar environment (for example, drug addicts are much more inclined to their drug habits when they take it in a familiar place).....But home is where we always have to go back. And we definitely need to shine in there. So we have to all make a decision!
What do we do? We fight! The flesh and the weak will. And we pray even more. And we depend on God even more. And everyday waking up, we have to decide to make a difference and kick off old habits. At times, we fall, at times we may not do well....but tomorrow, we try again. And we keep trying until we succeed.
The danger does not come when you are faced with temptation, nor when you fall...the danger comes when you gave up trying...and just succumb to whatever comes, and stop caring about what is most important
So don't give up my friend. Whatever battles you are fighting. It is worth it :))
Ya Chaaaa!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Just wrote a song....
It is called....All for You
A dedication to the Greatest Love I have ever received.
A dedication to the Greatest Love I have ever received.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Job Interviews
The Job interviews were so interesting and such an eye opening experience!
Wow...more open doors!!! And I have finally realized stepping into interviewing and the working world is not that scary after all...
ahhaa...thanks to all those who have prayed and supported me. You guys are gems!
Wow...more open doors!!! And I have finally realized stepping into interviewing and the working world is not that scary after all...
ahhaa...thanks to all those who have prayed and supported me. You guys are gems!
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