As I was saying, I was having this "Eureka" moment...All because I was thinking of someone very dear to my heart, currently doing what she is most passionate with in her job, doing what she knows best in different parts of the world. Haha...Yesterday, a few of us got in touch with this very person, and she was telling us about the culture shocks she experienced as she was travelling. Kinda cool to know.
Then as I was bathing, I was thinking to myself of the different cultures around the world, then I begin to think about mine! And I got in touch with the term "China man mindset". Now, not being discriminative, I love Chinese people (because I am obviously Chinese) and I have nothing against China and its way of doing things. It is just, differences in culture. And I appreciate that.
Then, I begin to think of the way my family is structured. Wow. This is really cool....the term "China man mindset" does not only apply to the business world. Talk about my family, I grow up in a very controlled, proper, well-disciplined family. Come to think of it, running a family is like running a small country, eh? My family could be adopting the idealogy of the China government. Haha. But then again, that's just a thought. (Don't wanna get sued for writing statements without basis in public :P)....
Recently I got to know that it is still a practice in China that boys and girls aren't allowed to sit together! They have to divide themselves. Wow...that sounds like my dearest daddy! Haha...even until I was 15 or 16, hanging out with boys in a GROUP is most of the time an offense to him! Or a guy friend offering me a ride, is totally unacceptable to him! He even claim that I can only get attached at the age of 25 (obviously I broke the rule :P). But then again, I know he is just being protective over his beloved daughter. Hee *love you daddy*
Then, there are rules and regulations, like girls having have to be more homely, learning to cook, wash the dishes, doll up, be pretty, have to be seen at home most of the time...in my family, guys can escape any house chores...but girls..or I would say GIRL (I am the only daughter) has to do most of the chores! Mom wouldn't mind if brothers doesn't wash their plates...but mom make a big fuss if daughter didn't wash hers. Haha...Good discipline I would say. According to mom, I need to serve my husband in all these in future...which is true to an extent. I wouldn't mind serving my husband, but I wouldn't mind a little help either!
Then it comes to guys being the head of the family, which is true...it is very biblical...but guys get to order the ladies around! Woot! Not that it happens all the time in my own primary family...most of us are modernized and received education on equality so on and so forth (well, at least I would fight for my rights...no chance for bullies ;P)....but I realize it happens in my extended family! The girls, being reserved and submissive...but to the extent that men get to have their says, and girls shouldn't comment so much. This is especially practiced by my Grandpa...and when girls have too much opinion...he would say: girls shouldn't talk so much....or my uncle saying: you are a girl! what do you know! Even my mom do agree to it occassionally...."we are girls, what do we know"...hmmm...I refuse to succumb to that. Yes, we are girl, yes we need to submit to the head of family, but I believe in the freedom of speech and opinions too. Haha..Oh well, as much as I would love giving my opinions, I still speak less in respect to my grandpa and uncles....Like what my mom always say: When you are under my roof, you succumb to my rules. Hah!
Haha...not complaining here....but I come to realize all these things....they are so related by the places we come from! I realize that not only in families, but also in certain nation, culture, schools, groups of friends...etc... it is hard to just come in and bring change, shake their boats a little, shake their faith a little, with something new. They can be so attached to old practices, that they find comfort sticking to it even when it is no longer effective in the modern times. Perhaps, people do find security in rigidity? Hmmm...something to think of.
And in a lot of places whereby freedom are not exactly easily found like the developed nations, the more you deprive the citizens of something, the more hungry they are for those things in their lives. In fact, it is most impactful to them because they don't come easy. Likewise, in my family, things are the same. The more our parents try to deprive us of something, the more desperate we are to cling on to it, and fight for it. For instance, the more my parents try to stop us from getting involved in BGR, the more we were desperate for it to try out! Or the more they try not to mention what they called "sensitive issues" (lets say forbid to eat ice cream..LOL) the more we want to find out (or the more we want to have it)! And boy....what chaos it was when information were discovered! We go underground, craving more once we got our hands on it (eating ice creams non stop in schools!) haha...this is ESPECIALLY TRUE for rebellious boys...*ahem*...and I won't deny, it has been true, even till today for me in certain areas of my life. Areas I am not accepted for, areas that I am not given liberty, and by force was obliged to submit... Hmm....ain't it a great thought? Maybe I should try deprive my members of certain things for them to be hungry for it. Haha!
Just kidding. I think I should send them to certain places for them to observe culture, differences, and start appreciating what they have currently.
No wonder, attending Piper's Ministry, they actually teach us that there are certain spirits you will inherit coming from different nations! Now I understand why. It is true to certain extent that where you come from, does affect your upbringing, your mindsets, your thoughts, the things you find security in. And especially if it has been a practice for a long long long long time....you would find it even hard to break away from this rigidity. But as a believer, I am glad, I discover this truth....and I find that breaking away from rigidity, is a constant thing we need to do as the world evolve. As things improve. Now we wouldn't want to be labeled as backward, or irrelevant, would we?
Understanding this, makes me have more compassion for people around me. And I admit sometimes being human, I can disagree and really dislike certain values in my very own family. But understanding all these, it makes me realize why certain thoughts are being wired that way....and that I need to give more grace and compassion. I need to understand, the kind of emotions, the kind of wavelength that goes on in the brains, and what kind of anxiety they go through....I begin to love my family more. I begin to have more compassion, more grace, more understanding rather than judgments. *sweet sigh*
Thank You, God for this "Eureka" moments.
No wonder Chinese are so grounded to sticking to their roots. It makes them feel really belong to one another, and more than that, understand and love one another even more. Haha.
I LOVE MY FAMILY!
Alright, time to go full force with work! Woosh~
