Saturday, April 21, 2007

To those who feels too insignificant for great things...


 


I will have to be honest here, that i used to be a girl with extreme low self-esteem problem...now....still have, but really, it has gotten so much lesser....i am going to share to all of you what i learnt in cell group last night...because after this, i know i am not gonna be the same...because i am making a choice to change right now...and you know day in day out...you go church you go cell group and each time you feel renewed and changed from everything you learnt....and those are GOD moulding you bit by bit to be more like Him...but this sermon to me...is not just that...this sermon is one that hit me real hard....and it deals with the weakest part of my life...and if i don't change...then i am simply ignorant to what is ruining me...really...and this is how the sermon goes :


this is about THE DAY OF PENTECOST....consist of three main parts....


i am highlighting the third part...because this relates pretty much to the to insignificant people.


RESISTANCE & RECEPTIVITY



in acts 2 : 12-13..after the Holy Spirit descended to the people who were praying in the room....the disciples started speaking in tongues...speaking in different different languages..imagine...Gallileans speaking in different languages, while speaking in vast variety of languages (oral sign)...and when the Holy Spirit came there was a loud gushing of wind...LOUD...so everyone celebrating pentecost that day (people from different nation come to see the celebration of Jews...Mesopotamia, Asia and etc) they heard the sound and rush to find out what was it (audible sign)...and there were fire on top of each and everyone of them who were speaking in tongues (visual sign).....it was very significant sign that God was truly there...and yet...in the crowd...there were two division of the group...one being the group that readily believe the signs and accepted the truth...second group...being the one who criticize them saying that they were drunk and so forth....but it is only 9am in the morning!...its an impossible hour to be drunk....at least not all of them..but still there were division among the crowd...in other words...we can continue preaching and preaching but there will always be two different groups of people...one being the ones who readily accept the truth...the other, always rejecting it...(Matt 10 : 6-14)...so in the midst of preaching...if the person accepts you....you continue staying with them, and further minister to them...but if they don't and they chase you out of their houses, then its ok...you just shake the dust off your feet!...you are not any smaller or less significant because of that...


and we needn't be afraid when minister to others...because it is not by our own works that we make it work...but it is by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us...the word "HELPER" in greek is called parakletos = someone called alongside to help you...this exactly describes the Holy Spirit...and Holy Spirit is not a thing...he is a person...God often refer to the Holy Spirit as "He" and not "It"...and Jesus said that it is our advantage that He goes...because after He went...immediately the Holy Spirit is sent...if He didn't leave, then the Holy Spirit cannot come....Jesus..being fully man was limited by time and space...and He was living with the disciples side by side...but the Holy Spirit, is able to minister to thousands of people at the same time..so long as you receive Jesus, He comes!!...and the Holy Spirit is exactly like Jesus....and He is living in us!!...not with us, along us...but in us!...that is why when we minister to others...it is very important to have the Holy Spirit's guidance....and we should not do anything by our own might or strength...but by God's wisdom and strength through the Holy Spirit.


the significance of the Holy Spirit is as this : when Peter...a loud, crude, and insecure fisherman..received this gift, immediately three things happened to him...1. Peter instantly understood God's truth...which applies to us today...when we receive the gift of Holy Spirit, we are able to understand what we read in the bible and everything would seem more interesting than it used to seem...2. boldness and authority came upon him...and this is exactly what we really need....sometimes we are so limited by the thoughts we perceive about ourselves...like how small we are...how impossible God is going to use us....because we seem so inadequate....of little talent...but when you receive the Holy Spirit, and is willing enough, He is going to change you and make you bold...the key to a great harvest is to be a willing vessel and that is all it takes for God to use you!....a willing heart...


3. signs and wonders followed his preaching....when he spoke...3000 people of different culture and background..accepted Christ...and they were called the first-fruits...the first three thousand who accepted Jesus..after he ascended to heaven....let's recap everything...Peter, if you realised in other chapters...was quite an insecure, emotional person..he denied Jesus 3 times when Jesus was caught by the roman soldiers (considerably a coward), he often speak without thinking and hurt others..that was why there was always conflict between the disciples...he always "talk big" meaning boast about everything, to cover up his lowly self-esteem...and he was an UNEDUCATED fisherman...yet when he spoke on the day of pentecost....3000 people got saved!!...this is the power imparted by the Holy Spirit...friends, if you have received that gift of the Holy Spirit, you can definitely do this....if GOd can use Peter, God can use you and i...not only for the work of His kingdom...but in every area of our lives as well...and what more?...we are not even fisherman...and we are mostly educated!....


at times we do feel like things were actually too huge for us...like sometimes we feel that God is really disappointed with us because we cannot reach a certain goal and so forth?..or we have failed to be the ideal person God wants us to be?...this is what i realised last night...God does not see what is on the outside...what is the result...God sees the heart, the processes we go through....if we were made to be perfect...would we ever need God?...if we were all perfect then would this world carry all the imperfections it contained right now?...the VA Tech incident is one of the many examples of how distorted our society is right now....and if we keep putting negative words into our hearts...thinking how insignificant we are...and how bad our lives are to be doing great things for God, it is going to worsen the already distorted world...besides, isn't it a little bit of belittling God?...like we decide for God that He cannot use us because we are the way we are....when we actually have no rights to say that because we are not the creator of ourselves...HE is!...and if He say we can...who can say we can't?


in the bible, God used alot of insignificant people...Moses was not able to speak properly, he stuttered....Peter was loud and crude and insecure...Paul was a murderer.... and see what great changes they had made to the people of their time?...God can use anyone...and we just need to be a willing vessels for Him...and we have to trust God to give us the boldness and courage....we are never insignificant in His eyes...everyone of us...even when sometimes you feel that people are not paying attention to you and most of the times unimportant...God sees your heart.....we might be insignificant here in this world....but we are never insignificant in GOd's eyes....none of us is insignificant...because He knows us by name, even the number of hair on our heads...self-esteem is built through the relationship you build with God...how closely you walk to Him..how well you know Him...if you know Him well enough, you will know His forgiving nature and His nature of seeking the heart...


the promise of God to those who receive Jesus till this very day is that Holy Spirit will follow us wherever we go....wherever....not a single day He will rest, give up on us, or leave us...when we walk to the right, He is there, when we walk to the meaninglessly in circles, he is there, uphill..everywhere...sleeping....and when we fall in our walk of life...he is readily there...handing out his hand to help...and when you reach out for his hands...he will pull you up...even when you fall....and you choose to stay down there....he hands out his hand...waiting for you to put out your hand to be restored again...but if you choose not to come up...he will stand there and wait and wait and wait...until someday when you decide to get up again. he will never leave...thats the promise of GOd....PROMISE...not just any random statement....the key to the change of an insignificant, low self-esteem mindset..is to be able to do everything out of love for God,...don't be too worried about being too unworthy for Him to use you or see you as significant....He is the most righteous judge and He knows best...and being significant is not doing all those great works and put an impressive outlook for others...being significant is just by being you, yourself....the one God created you to be...be proud of it...and at the same time run after God's heart and be willing to be used...


i hope this blog is of blessing to others in dealing with the insignificant mindset of themselves...of cos i can't explain that well...my cell leader explained really clear and it helped me alot...so if you were confused in the midst of this i am so sorry....but ya..i just feel like posting this up for others as well as myself... because i hope it helps those who feels all these..i understand the cruelty of it..but hey, don't dwell in it because it is going to eventually kill you spiritually and emotionally....get out of it!! its the weapon of the enemy!! and i hope this is also a reminder to myself that today i have chosen not to think of how significant i am or not...but just to be willing....


yesterday was a breakthrough for me...as i heard time after time...in testimony challenge sharing, in the sermon, in the song...of the significance of the heart...not the outlook...i have concentrated too much on the outlook..thinking that if i don't do well in my studies, if i don't manage my time well, if i don't show a very super excellent good testimony, i am a failure in portraying the Jesus who lives in me...but sometimes, it is not that we don't want to...but we are limited by the situations...even so, we strive to show the best testimony we can...but of cos as human we can never show the perfect testimony of Jesus...then we would have been Jesus, right?...so ya...the best we could do...is just do the best we have within our limits...and sometimes i pressurized on this too much that i really get upset with myself thinking that i cannot be used because of all the inadequacies i have....but this is never true, as i heard God telling me time after time through many people repeatedly...it is the heart that counts...it is the heart that sums up everything...i won't say that i am perfect and i have the best heart God desires....sometimes i am human, sometimes i am selfish too...sometimes i neglect God and jumble up my priorities...but we are not to keep account of all our faults and use it against ourselves...it is really damaging..and if Jesus has already done everything on the cross and God says no sins will be remembered,...who are we to say that our sins are too big to be forgiven?...we have no rights to tell God whether it is appropriate or worthy for Him to forgive us or not...and the best we can do being the imperfect ordinary person we are now...is to just strive to run after God and have a heart that truly desire His favor....let's work it out together with me....this two weeks break is the perfect time i need...to list down everything and every weaknesses i have, and set my priorities and mend my erratic areas of my life together with God....when i come back, i hope i can deal better with everything and be really changed...let's believe God to make extraordinaries out of ordinaries =)