I have decided!
I know God has called me to human trafficking etc. But I can't help but to also trust and believe God that there is a reason why He has put many other lives (Who are not related to human trafficking) into my life. Example my cell members.
Last night, I heard Pastor Tan preached. And Boy was I convicted! I was convicted because I realize, it is not difficult to have spiritual pride, to want to be the wise and prudent. Many of us fall into the category....THAT VERY MOMENT we choose to judge another person (believer or non-believer) and BELIEVE that we are better. I have to bring myself down to the end. That I have no rights. No-uh. Not at all. I am just merely an idle person otherwise if He has not called me to the field. So I have decided. I just do all I can, plough all I can and fix my eyes only on One Thing. Or rather...One Person...Jesus. Who am I to say...this person work harder, that person work harder....on what position am I given the authority to even say anything at all?
Yes fix our eyes on heavenly things. But I want to come to a point, I am doing everything out of my overwhelming Love for Jesus. All I want is for Him to be happy, and Him to be proud of me... I just want to be of help to Him....And I shall not go ahead, but I will stay side by side....He ask me to go, I will go.
Then the next sermon, when He talks about people who are trained to be more suspicions, to train to look at a bleeding man and walk away....I felt so hit in the heart! "That is me"...I thought to myself. I was taught to not trust people, lest it is a scheme. I don't give beggar money, I don't buy tissue paper from the blind, I don't do much...because I am skeptical. And hence thats the reason why I am also skeptical when it comes to people...are you sure no intention? Are you sure your heart is pure? What's your motive?....That's sometimes how I look at people....trying to read or get a hint of any intention at all...even thought he/ she is purely no harm to me. LOL.
Now, I am not saying we should be foolishly used. But, not skeptical to an extent we hinder ourselves from doing good. So what if by giving a donation, or believing in someone again you fall into a scam or being disappointed? After all isn't that WHAT JESUS goes through? Like being disappointed again and again? Yet He said on the cross "Father Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing!"...If I want to be where Jesus is, I need to follow His foot steps! And from then on, I told God...God I am going to change.
I have encountered many who tell me again and again that they have repented, yet shortly after, still back to the same cycle. My first reaction : See I told you...not trustable. True story. Ashamed of myself? Totally. Especially after the message last night. Lol. The right response should be: My dear brother / sister trapped in the enemy's lies again...is there anything I can do? If nothing else, perhaps I should just pray... It is not that I should continue investing my energy in wrong places...but whatever my final decision is, LOVE should never be absent. Skeptics often steal the love. Because when you judge...you cannot love.
After watching this video Dream Center Promo....I was taken back. Ok. I want to BE the church without walls. That starts with the life that has been placed under me. They are there for a reason..
I shall start with a young teenager who is going through a very rough patch in life, full of identity crisis, anger, whom I have always believed I can't do much. I shall start.....by going into his life weekly. Pray that I sustain. Don't want it to be "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" kinda thing.
After all how much more time do I have before I have a partner and have to reserve a day for him instead of doing this? LOL. Probably two more years. Yay! Do as much as I can.
So here it is: I shall call this...Loving A Life Project.
One word...WWJD ....or rather four words. What would Jesus Do?
My goal, one thing. Being more like Jesus.
Wish me all the best, readers! ^^
