In end of 2011, I begin realizing that I have many dreams and vision. What was lacking, was the courage. The courage to risk it all and be SOLD OUT for that one cause. So I decided to make a change. 2012, I told myself I wanted a courageous year. And I prayed....God give me a courageous year. In areas that I have none, YOU be my courage...You give me the strength.
So I waited. Indeed...God gave me a year that I will never forget. A year that could sum up my lifetime...I have never done so much in a lifetime than in this year itself. Greatest gift...God surrounded me with courageous people. People whom I learned from, walk with, encouraged me...and most importantly...contagious people...who borrowed me courage when I have none...and together walked through journeys of life with me.
One of the greatest breakthrough was my baptism. I remember telling myself...the first step to courage is to truly declare and hold my faith up high...especially to my family. So I got baptized. And afterwards was tested in my step grandma's funeral which happened right after. my family finally understood. And they began letting go bit by bit...Realizing I am no longer the naive little girl anymore...Realizing, that it is time for me to venture to what I feel meaningful in life.
After which, comes the BERSIH rally. This is a lifetime experience. Something I will never forget. How I stood there that day, being truly proud to be malaysian for the very first time...and loving my nation even more. We were all there for one cause and one only. To fight for justice, righteousness and integrity. At least that was my intention. With teargases and water canon shot at us, I have to say, I did not regret one bit. And come to think of it...for a fact I could even gather the courage to step into such scene....I think it is a miracle from God. Hahhaa
And then Destiny...How I witnessed the whole ordeal the entire process. How Shirley and David went through the toughest time of their lives....clinging on just to God...That itself inspire me. I told myself...Destiny fought so hard to live. And her parents were so courageous in walking through their darkest moment...didn't give up on their faith because they were just so sure that God takes care of everything. So confident. I want that faith...And I promise to be courageous and make each day count. So I sparked off wanting to do even more.
We ran Jayesslee's concert. No experience....but so successful, so satisfied. After which was the marathon. I couldn't believe I can do it. But I did! I ran 2 marathons - 10 km and 12 km....and this year I just signed up for Brooks 21 km. Come to think of it....the Hazel a year ago, would never even want to be part of any of this. Then the plan of wanting to reach out to my grandparents. Every month I would go home and spend at least an hour or two talking to them. Hopefully God will open doors for me...With courage, I can share the gospel with them. With Him...definitely :)
Then I joined something that changed my life forever. mission. I joined two mission trips. The one to myanmar truly sparked off my passion for the broken. I went there with an intention to bless...I came back feeling so blessed instead. So grateful.....with all that we have, with all that we are able to do...we are way way way better off and we should really count our blessings. Some people have to think twice to attend a seminar because it is a matter of life and death of their family to them. To us....what do we have to lose? And some of us could even consider utilizing their time to sleep than to join a seminar. I love mission....it opens up my eyes to so many things in life and help me appreciate things so much more.
This year, of course my cell group multiplied. I have had the privilege from God to do even more within my cell group. Counseling young adults and broken lives. Even get to join NACC (National Association of Christian Counsellors) this year round for their annual conference. Thank You God that You see me fit for this :)
Ended the year with a big bang as I ski and experience snow for the very first time in my LIFE in Korea.....and conquered the 11th tower of the Great Wall of China.
See...I started the year, never expecting that I could have accomplished so much. But God surprised me time after time. This is officially the best year of my life so far...and a year that I have grown so much in so many different aspects of my life...Thank You God...Thank You for every good and bad times.....they mean the world to me. I am where I am because of all that You have given me to experience, explore and encounter.
Coming 2013.....I have listed many resolutions. But one that sums it all is....I want to be a BETTER worshipper of Jesus.. One that does His will, and is sold out for His calling. One who is not afraid, not because I am talented, but because I have Him. my first step, I have just signed up for the international conference for the street ministry that I have been wanting to be a part of since 2010. I finally did it :)
I was telling Shirley about it the other day....She asked : " You are going alone?" .....I said : "yes"
Only to realize, when I answered Yes....I was no longer afraid...no longer doubtful. Before this, I could be really passionate for something...but will only have the courage to do if someone else familiar joined me in the occasion...as if I am borrowing some of his courage to step forward. But this time....I just felt it is time to step up and not be borrowing courage else where. Download courage and strength directly from God. After all I am living for His cause, He will surely provide and be on my side :)
2013....will be the best year yet. I have some minor challenges in the beginning of 2013...But I know it is a sign...that this is not going to be an easy year, but definitely the most meaningful year :)
I want to be a better worshipper....Taking care of myself more....I want to be sold out....that each time when Jesus has a mission....He will think "Lets include Hazel. Let her life be exciting! Hazel can do! She is willing. She will do it"
And the final "Well Done" at the finishing line of life :)
Well, it may seem "too spiritual" a resolution. But being a better worshipper does sum up being more excellent in every aspect of life. And that is all I could think of wanting now.
2013....here I come :)
