I went to Myanmar for a mission trip with my ever amazing mentors - Shirley and David, the power couple. This time, I was on a discipleship journey in managing the team by my spiritual ibu. As usual, apart from giving, I was looking forward to be inspired again. Indeed, I was never let down. Every mission trip, I never fail to see God's goodness, and experience His amazing presence.
I came to Myanmar six months ago, in November 2012. The very same day we left the country, Barrack Obama (President of USA) came and left as well. We were stuck in some traffic jam for his departure. And the day, our second mission team arrive at the airport, apparently the President of Japan was suppose to come as well. It blesses my heart that every time we are doing mission in that country, seem to be a significant time for the nation.
Six months later, as I stepped into Myanmar, I can see drastic changes. From a one money changer airport, now there were many, advertisement of credit cards were everywhere, road condition improved, and many more. In my spirit, I sense revival is happening in that land. And I am so grateful to be a part of it. I literally felt that there is something happening that will turn the nation around and it is happening very fast, and soon!
The next day, as we were preparing ourselves at the Global Children Conference, David had an amazing sharing during devotion. On what is gospel truly to the poor. When we read it in the bible, we often thought Jesus wanted to preach His coming to the poor. But lets think about it properly. Gospel to the poor, cannot be about Jesus' coming. What is the value of the good news of His coming and dying for us, when our basic needs in life are not met? Gospel to the poor, is meeting their needs, healing their hurts...and that is when we establish God's kingdom in our society. Jesus didn't come to preach about Him dying so we could get saved. He came to give to the poor what they lack. When we bring forth the good news, through our living, only then we are able and qualify to tell them about Jesus' coming and dying for them. The Maslow's hierarchy stands true till today. And I was impacted. How will a nation or a society hear you speak? It is when you bring THEIR gospel to them....before pushing down the gospel you know, into their throats.
After moving around the city to purchase some medication for our medical booth this trip, I stepped into the National Theatre of Myanmar to attend the Global Children Conference. I was moved to tears. I saw many children of Myanmar, raised in such god-fearing condition. My heart was overwhelmed. I knew the nation will have hope if the children were raised in such a way as this. Children leading worship, children praying for the seven pillars of the nation, children preaching....children....just loving Jesus. I was truly inspired. There's something about little children when they sing, preach and pray....their faith are just so pure.
As we know, mission is always a place to step out and breakthrough. So that night as we were all rehearsing for the G.O.D conference the next day, Shirley alerted us that after the first G.O.D Conference session, we need to break into two groups. One group will follow her to Hmowbi for a second session for the people there. The other group will follow me to a church youth group to preach. And after that split into another two smaller groups to preach in another two cell groups.
That was a faith-stretching moment. Mostly for those who have not preached before. Leonard will be preaching for the afternoon session, I will be preaching for the cell group of 60-70 people. I have not prepared any sermon for the trip! But I know, mission is like that. We have to be ever ready to serve. So I prepare a sermon on Joshua Generation which I have preached to my cell group before this. Only thing I changed the sermon a little to cater to my new crowd.
So it was the day for G.O.D Conference came. Everything went smoothly. The presence of God was very strong each time I hear the people of Myanmar worship God. Somehow, they sound so genuine, without walls....just singing with all their hearts, loving Jesus, no other agenda. And the churches in Myanmar are all so united, helping each other despite of denomination. It is really a blessing watching how they work....so the conference ended with a big bang as David preaches about how one person can change the world. I was impacted again and again everytime I hear the same message. And I was really motivated for the day.
See, I know in every mission trip, God wants to teach me something. I knew this trip was gonna be life-changing again, I just don't know how God will do it this time... I believe God knew that preparing sermon wouldn't be that difficult since I have archive for it. But God knew, there are things I cannot let go and would tend to play God. It was precisely in these things, the Lord tested me. I learned a big lesson that night. I stepped in the cell group that night with 60-70 people. Realizing that they are mainly women....and women who are preparing themselves to be domestic helpers in Singapore. They will leave the country soon. I was thinking to myself....I am about to preach about Joshua generation for their own nation.....how will I relate then?
I was contemplating to change my sermon halfway while worshipping because my flesh says....its not easy to challenge a group of immigrant workers to be to be a Joshua Generation, only to realize, I did not have my laptop or even any other sermon notes with me. Guess it must be destined. So I went on preaching my message. And the translation wasn't very smooth, as the translator has to translate into Chin, another tribal language of the Chin tribe in Myanmar (not the regular Burmese language).
So, I was getting a little frustrated with the minor setbacks I felt I am experiencing. Message was becoming too long, and I was told Chin language isn't an easy language to translate. The translator did his best and took awhile to process, translate, and because of that I believe it must have been very hard for him to keep up the same momentum as me...at that point, I was just praying and hoping that whatever is being preached, it was translated right, and the people could understand well..if not, the presence of God must come and do His work, because I have completely no control over that. It was precisely because I have no control, that I felt frustrated.
Nonetheless, God came...almost everyone responded, some with streaming tears...the presence of God fell down. Yet things were still not right with my heart. I wasn't very satisfied with the little glitches...I have to admit, I have been spoilt by the high excellent culture I am placed in. I am grateful for the excellence I am taught to embrace. But sometimes, instead of instilling values that help us give our best to God, excellence could take over the total focus of all....if not careful.
As I was about to go to bed, God rebuked me that very night. I was questioned about the attitude of serving. I was forced to look at my heart. Why do I need perfection in my service? Don't I trust Him to move? ...I was negotiating with God, telling Him, it was just a momentary feeling, didn't mean I was totally unhappy since so many responded. Then God said this......"Exactly...that was because, I moved. You were hoping for me to come according to the way you pave for me. You felt, that would be the best way, no? Are you God? Do you need to control and predict the best way for me to come? Do you serve to feel good about the service, or do you serve to bring Him glory and to touch the life of others?"
My walls were torn down that night. I repented. I realized my attitude wasn't right. I was taking control too much. I have missed out the god-element. That night, I had to decide to unlearn all that I know, to break all mindsets on what "good atmosphere" is suppose to be, and let God be God. I wasn't suppose to try to make sure everything is in order so God could come. I was just suppose to do my best and trust God to do the rest. God didn't need my help. I need His! And my focus shouldn't be on how smooth things was for me, but how I can be a vessel, a servant for God to use.
In may ways, I thank God I was put through this. I know I would have never realized or learnt this any other way if not given a situation like this. What struggles do we have when everything is within our expectation? We are so well-trained and programmed. I questioned myself that night, who was I performing for? Everyone was a stranger there. And God is able in every single sense....That was the moment when it hit me...I had begun to play God.
See, people in this nation, do not need fancy things, events, lights, perfect sound, translation or anything to allow them to serve God. I was the one that felt that these things were necessary. I was playing God. God can come anyhow, any time, however He deems it to be. People of Myanmar were very simple. All they wanted was to seek God....I was caught up with the mindset of having everything smooth, so that God can come easier. Music to build atmosphere, etc....I am not saying all these things are bad....if we have the luxury we should really utilize all these...but there is NEVER a situation that God can become dispensable. However bad a sound system may be, however bad a lighting may be, however hot the place may be....people still worship, people still teared, people still run to the altar. Why? Because they didn't come to feel good....they came for God.
This very moment with God, make me ponder. As a cell leader, have I trained my members well enough to just come to church and cell group....not because I preached a good message, I preached well, worship was led well, games were fun, everything was prepared for them....but because they truly, purely are hungry to see God face to face? They are hungry for a Word from Him? I am not saying excellence is not important....but truly, what drives us today? Events? Perfections? Our so-called perception of "perfection"? Or was it really God?
I am so inspired to build a generation who are excellent in their service for Jesus, but will never miss the main point of coming to church and going to cell group to serve. That is to want more of God...
The next few days, I was very cautious of my role. I constantly reminded myself, I gotta do my best....but I should let God do His part....I was really blessed. I went to Insein church leading a team to minister there. It was Kevin Khoo's turn to preach. I played guitar for altar call...even though a "caplang" guitar player...many still responded. God was indeed in control. Chatted with Pastor Charity and she told me how she and her team are working on reaching the President of Myanmar, inviting him to the next Christmas party, going on national TV LIVE every day, to give a one-hour preaching. Talk about cultural mandate? These people are way ahead....I was really moved in my heart. It got me thinking, what can I do for my nation.
In Malaysia, there were many restrictions for sure. But we are from a much developed nation in comparison to Myanmar. What other excuses do we have? I want to bring the "gospel" to my society. Good news my society sees it. Medical booth was life-changing for me. I saw how Kingdom of God can be established among the broken, the poor, the needy. I washed hair for a bunch of kids who had never used shampoo in their lives....and I realized there were children who didn't have shoes or pants to wear because they couldn't afford them, couldn't go to school because they had no money for school fees and books....and could not understand half a thing I said because they either do not understand translation well, or were too shy to respond....low self-esteem.
I followed 3 siblings back to their home that day after my first medical clinic. My heart ache at the condition of their home. Just a shade. No furnitures, no father. Mom working for a living. No fan, no clothes, no closet, no food, no fridge, broken floors, torn ceilings, holes on their walls and roof...a milk bottle with moulded teat...and the little boy was drinking from it. They were bullied almost every other day. I was there to save one of the boys twice, pushed around and beaten up by the older boys in the village. But what happens when I am no longer there? So there I was, with my two other members. Pooiyan asked why not I pray for them. I prayed...in English...and I saw the older sister....trying to hold her tears as I prayed. I knew she didn't understand what I said....but I believe she can sense it in spirit God's love for her that day. I pray one day when she is hopeless, there is where she will go to seek for hope in life. And truly, there's nothing else I could do...but just to pray...
Next day, my team went to Hmowbi to set up another medical clinic, it was a slow day. Not many patients, but an old lady came in claiming that she is dying and that Jesus had called her home. Someone came out to tell me she had depression. I was just randomly mentioning....I think we should have psychological clinic apart from just doctor's clinic. David randomly said...Hazel....go do your counselling work. And I was laughing....didn't thought much about it as I took it as a joke. I couldn't speak Burmese...counselling would be such a barrier with translated words...meaning may get distorted.
So after awhile, I randomly walked toward the old lady and stood by her as she was telling Doctor Debbie and others about her stories and etc. I was just "looking around" until suddenly the old lady grab my hand and pulled me down. She asked me....have you eaten? (in Burmese of course...its a courtesy)....So, I thought, since she wanted me to sit with her, why not just minister to her the best I could. It was funny how the translator was trying to tell me that she is now like a child, and I couldn't understand. I kept thinking her family treated her like a child. So....finally it got into me that it is pointless counselling. She is no longer thinking as an adult.That was when I offered her prayed. After that she kept talking to me in Burmese. Whispering to me secrets... Nobody was there to translate. So I was just there...listening and nodding...as though I understood. I looked into her eyes. Something caught my heart that day..behind those eyes....so much fear, so much disappointments, grief, welled-up tears and I look at her wrinkled face...I knew this woman has gone through much more than I could imagine. Not only did she had stroke, and that her husband passed away, she must have had so many other disappointments. I was feeling so much compassion for her....but I realized, all I could do was to pray...
I have never came to an extent when I pray for others, I would cry. But in this mission trip, there were so many time....that I cried as I was ministering. These hearts were so pure...so genuine. I felt God's love so much for them, and theirs for God....This will be a great nation. I truly believe in this country. And the people....
Many other silly experiences that I had with the team. One of them was to be in the long dusty road as we travel from places to places, Grace and Richard's proposal (which we planned so hard for it), Shirley's surprise during the stationery donation event, the many "joker" moments such as Anthony singing in wrong key, forgot his lyrics, Kevin Khoo trying to be arty in his speech, and got the pastor shock when he was suppose to translate "yesterday I was leading the army of darkness against Christ" lol.....the diva moments of Leonard as he brought his own toilet shoes, the random moments of Shu Qing (beep beep and so forth).....and the dangerous late night when we walked out to get our dinner....cockroaches crawling around with me and Jan literally screaming and jumping like girley girls. hahaha!
It was an amazing experience. Apart from being closer to one another and learned how to organize a mission trip with Shirley, there were so many heart-warming moments. I teared a lot this mission trip. I was really touched in many occasions. How a kid who would have nothing, when you give them food, they would give to others. Yet sometimes, we have so much and we are so hesitant to even give to our brothers and sisters. How there were so many technical glitches, yet nobody was distracted. Everyone was waiting to receive from God. How the pastor of the church can be so humble. One pastor, did the keyboard playing, the announcement, the translation, the song leading, everything.....How a pastor would sell his home when a church has been destroyed by the cyclone, and buy a small property to build a new church, live in a shade behind, how a pastor would have risk being killed starting underground churches where wars are going on.....but they do it anyway because they want to see God's move in the midst of war.
Talk about true civilization.....our definition may be the way our society live....but in my opinion, the people of Myanmar understood civilization better that most of us...because with the little they had, they not only did not complain, became selfish, become greedy, or exploit others....but responded in selfless acts toward one another. They had made me understood civilization in another level.
I spoke to Pastor Charity and Pastor Daniel the other day. They told me in the past, the main religion group militants would come into villages and get Christians wiped out. Today, the condition improved much and Christians are rising up to build the nation, because many selfless Christians before that decided they would live for Christ, and gave their best for their people. The very same day when we were travelling from our mobile clinic from Insein, I saw a monk holding a gun (I presume it was a toy gun)...pointing at our truck. My heart was beating very fast because I just heard that story! (LOL), and I couldn't tell whether was it a real or fake gun from afar.
But that was when a question popped up within my heart.....will I truly live for Christ, and have I got what it takes to truly do that....something to ponder :)
Thus sums my journey. Someday, if God wills, I will build a school to give free education to the poor, and probably adopt a few children as my own (if my husband wills) haha. But truly, the truck ride, the dusty roads, the technical errors, the lack of lighting, the long hours of bumpy ride, the pollution, the sweat, sun, late night practices, late night briefings, late night sermon preparation, the dirty children, the slumps and rubbish....is all worth it when you see how hungry these people were...
Thank you, God...I am longing to be the Joshua of my generation. Gotta prepare myself.
This is a simple song by Myanmar people....singing about Jesus saving their nation:
Loving mission trip. Everything simple seems so amazing in mission trip :) I simply live for You....I will do my best for my nation.
A little feverish now. Signing out~
