In fact, I see changes, in how people view us. This time when I go back hometown, I stopped trying to prove myself. Instead, I pray each day God will use me as a vessel to just show His love and His glory. I just prayed and hoped that every time I am around my family members....whoever they are....They just feel peace....
I finally told my mom I am helping sex workers in the back alleys in the heart of KL. Surprising, she didn't nag as much as before....Just some concern advises telling me to be careful. The joy of doing what God wants me to do by faith, and then seeing everything fall into place....was really joyous for me. I want to shine brighter for You, God....here in my very own family.
I took some chance to teach my nephew discipline :P haha...the fierce "gu gu". All in all, it was an amazing CNY....all because this time round, I depended fully on God, and I wasn't ashamed or fearful of how others would look at me. I wasn't preoccupied about proving myself....but I was preoccupied with chances to show love as much as I can in this family that I love very much.
Today, back in service....Pastor did an altar call at the end of worship, asking those who wants to see family getting saved come forward. Today....I saw many, many, many who shared the same faith, stepped out responding to the burden God has put within their hearts....to bring this very LIGHT back to our family.
I couldn't stop tearing.....I told God....I really, really yearn for their salvation. I will do the best I know how, to be a vessel, to preach the gospel of love with love....And as pastor spoke...."This year, will be a year where we will see our family get saved, that God will work in our family, that the message of the gospel will be preached, and we will be bold to go there and bring salvation to our home"
I knew....those words, were confirmation from God for me....this year, is time...for the gospel to be alive. I do not know what kind of chaos may result from this, whatever may come....I am preparing myself for the battles ahead. I will fight, for the salvation of my family, and my friends...my loved ones....because this is a worthwhile battle.
I remember telling my mom this: ma, if there is ever a chance for me to choose how I die, I don't want to die in an accident, or in sickness. I wouldn't mind if I die while I am reaching out to the broken. What a meaningful death it would be....
And my mom said: You think life is a movie?
Hahaha....yea, it isn't. What I meant is, ENOUGH of being a coward, scaredy cat, fearful of every single thing in life. It may seem foolish to the world....but its time to come out from behind of mama's skirt....and stand against the enemy.
Pick up that snake, and turn it into a STAFF. (Staff in olden days are used to carve life's most meaningful events). To face our fears, the giants (mainly living within ourselves) and begin to live the life God wants us to live....be who God wants us to be......a life worthy of not only ONE full staff carvings, but THOUSANDS of em....which means, picking up more than just one snakes in life....
Am I ready? To be honest....fear doesn't just vapourize into thin air the moment we step out.....in fact, fear may increase.....but whatever it is...
Take my life.....let it be.....consecrate it......let it be YOURS!
