God hears.... :)

CNY break was amazing. In the midst of all the hustles and bustles, I begin to see changes within my family...accepting us as believers. Though at times, there were passing remarks on how inconvenient Christians are, but there are no longer mockeries....at least not in front of us.

In fact, I see changes, in how people view us. This time when I go back hometown, I stopped trying to prove myself. Instead, I pray each day God will use me as a vessel to just show His love and His glory. I just prayed and hoped that every time I am around my family members....whoever they are....They just feel peace....

I finally told my mom I am helping sex workers in the back alleys in the heart of KL. Surprising, she didn't nag as much as before....Just  some concern advises telling me  to be careful. The joy of doing what God wants me to do by faith, and then seeing everything fall into place....was really joyous for me. I want to shine brighter for You, God....here in my very own family.

I took some chance to teach my nephew discipline :P haha...the fierce "gu gu". All in all, it was an amazing CNY....all because  this time round, I depended fully on God, and I wasn't ashamed or fearful of how others would look at me. I wasn't preoccupied about proving myself....but I was preoccupied with chances to show love as much as I can in this family that I love very much.

Today, back in service....Pastor did an altar call at the end of worship, asking those who wants to see family getting saved come forward. Today....I saw many, many, many who shared the same faith, stepped out responding to the burden God has put within their hearts....to bring this very LIGHT back to our family.

I couldn't stop tearing.....I told God....I really, really yearn for their salvation. I will do the best I know how, to be a vessel, to preach the gospel of love with love....And as pastor spoke...."This year, will be a year where we will see our family get saved, that God will work in our family, that the message of the gospel will be preached, and we will be bold to go there and bring salvation to our home"

I knew....those words, were confirmation from God for  me....this year, is time...for the gospel to be alive. I do not know what kind of chaos may result from this, whatever may come....I am preparing myself for the battles ahead. I will fight, for the salvation of my family, and my friends...my loved ones....because  this is a worthwhile battle.

I remember telling my mom this: ma, if there is ever a chance for me to choose how I die, I don't want to die in an accident, or in sickness. I wouldn't mind if I die while I am reaching out to the broken. What a  meaningful death it would be....

And my mom said: You think life  is a movie? 

Hahaha....yea, it isn't. What I meant is, ENOUGH of being a coward, scaredy cat, fearful of every single thing in life. It may seem foolish to the world....but its time to come out from behind of mama's skirt....and stand against the enemy.

Pick up that snake, and turn it into a STAFF. (Staff in olden days are used to carve life's most meaningful events). To face our fears, the giants (mainly living within ourselves) and begin to live the life God wants us to live....be who God wants us to be......a life worthy of not only ONE full staff carvings, but THOUSANDS of em....which means, picking up more than just one snakes in life....

Am I ready? To be honest....fear doesn't just vapourize into thin air the moment we step out.....in fact, fear may increase.....but whatever it is...

Take my life.....let it be.....consecrate it......let it be YOURS!

Out in The Streets

Recently, I attended a conference called ICAP (International Christian Alliance on Prostitution). In this conference, founders and amazing people from all over South East Asia, gather to discuss and learn from one another on how to work out a good plan to reach out to sex workers, exploited women, children, lady boys, and even men.

It was such an inspiring conference. Seeing people from different NGOs coming together, sharing ideas, encouraging one another, sharing testimonies on how to be the LIGHT in the dark places. I was also enlighten by the many social enterprises that have been built to help equip these women who have chosen to come out / being saved from the prostitution world to integrate with the society again.

My heart breaks each time I hear stories of how many of these women were cheated, betrayed, by their very own loved ones and family....because they felt it is NOTHING to be exploited sexually. It is also a profession. Whatever their mindsets are, these NGOs are there to tell them....it is NOT OK to be exploited or abused. No matter what their belief systems are, it is totally not OK to be used up again and again...like that.

Last Tuesday, I went to the streets for the second time. I encountered MUCH experience and MUCH obstacles. I'm not gonna tell you what I experienced on the street only. But my entire journey. 

I had much work to finish up that day. Hence, when I leave the office it was about 6.10pm. No doubt the road was insanely jammed up. More jam than usual. Maybe because I was rushing. And every traffic light decided to turn red. =_=.

I was on my way to join the night walk in Petaling Street held by a group of passionate people from Charis Church in Cheras. They delayed the entire walk to 7pm so I could experience being on the streets myself. But even when going to Subang KTM, I knew it would be really late because a 5 minutes drive had then, turned into 20 mins drive. So I texted the Person-in-Charge, Lily. Again she delayed the walk to 7.30pm...just for me! *paiseh*

Then I arrived at Subang KTM. Lining up to get tickets, in front of me happened to be a handful of newbies I suppose. Didn't know how to use the ticket machine! So I watched my train choo-chooed off as I queue impatiently to get my ticket. In my heart....I was screaming...."Are you kidding me? I gotta wait for the next one??" God knows how long KTM can delay sometimes (hrmmm...)

So, I panicked (literally fretting). That I ran out of the station to get a cab. No cab wants to go Petaling Street. One who offered to fetch me there ask for RM50!! And another uncle said : Go home laa....at this hour how to send you to KL on time? (Lord forgive me for I have sinned...but God knows what was going on in my mind as the uncle said those words 8P). So I decided to stick with KTM. Would skip jam anyway --- stay positive! 

The next train arrived. At 7pm. In the train...I was praying, not wanting to miss the outreach. Cos if I miss the briefing I cannot join the night walk outreach. We need to familiarize ourselves with a set of rules before going into the ground. So as I was praying and praying not to be late....out of a sudden, someone in the train started screaming and shaking all over. Loud. Like possessed. Very near me, a malay, teenage boy. I was shocked by the scream and I looked at him. As I looked at him, I was praying, telling God...God don't let him come charging at me or hitting me. Cos he is probably a little challenged in the mind. But I really don't want end up in hospital. Want to go outreach. Haha!

But the shockness immediately turn me into praying in tongue mode... So yea! Good thing! Gives me more peace after the shock too.

Then I started checking my phone and messages and everything....and as I was busy meddling with the worn-out blackberry, I realized a malay girl right opposite me was silently looking straight at me. Feeling awkward, I looked up.. I was again terrified and shocked. There sitting right opposite me, a blind lady looking straight at me. Don't get me wrong! I have nothing against blind people, but I wasn't expecting to see white eyeballs! So I was terrified. It was too sudden, and I wasn't prepared.

At that very same time, I felt another person staring at me again from my right. So I looked to my right, it was the boy who just screamed hysterically looking at me. I was terrified for the 3rd time in the train. He had white eyeballs too.

It wasn't exactly anything creepy...but I've sat KTM and LRT for so many times. This is the first time I encountered so many psychological shocks in a single trip. Lol. Because of the many one-moment shock thing, my heart wasn't exactly beating at its regular beat. Plus I was late. Added up, I was kinda feeling all jumbled. Hahaha! Shock + kanjiong. Everything.

Then as soon as I reached KL sentral...I ran with all my heart, to the monorail station! And there were men trying to promote some promotion. Really, literally, pushy, and touchy men. I don't know what were they trying to sell... But I shooed them off as I was in a hurry... surprising to me, they came after me and kept asking me for my details and number. So so pushy! I was really frustrated, so, I pushed through, and I ran. Lol. Yea....I literally ran. Really...terrible sales strategy. Maybe my boss should offer them training for social skills. 8P

And so I ran....and I was telling myself. Two more stops and I'm there! Two more! When I arrived at monorail station.... Guess what. The train in the monorail station is not functioning. People were packing that place, but nobody gets to do anything. So no monorail for the day. Yay!

By then, it was already 7.30pm. Imagine my frustration, pek-cekness, stress, pressure all added up. So, Lily called. I told her I will delay again but told them to go ahead and start without me since I have made so much delay. Bu hao yi shi baa..... I was all ready to quit. Honestly, I was planning to just head back to KL sentral, hop on the next KTM and head straight home. So tired already. And so many obstacles!

So Lily told me, if I wanna join and I cannot be in time for briefing, I can still stay in the premise and intercede while they go on with their night walk. I said ok. At the point I was considering whether to go or not, I prayed...then suddenly, peace just gush in my heart. And I just felt convince...since I'm already here...why stop halfway? Finish the journey. So I ran out, got a taxi...overpaid the taxi. Taxi driver at that hour don't wanna follow metre and I couldn't do anything (partly I couldn't care less already bcos I just want to get there!).

Praise God...with all the twist, turns, ups and downs, I arrived just in time. Briefing and praying. One of the person in charge: Carmen...pat me on my back and smiled. She said: so many obstacles just to get here aye? Its ok, not trying to be too spiritual but well, I think the enemy is not happy....I smiled. And they prayed for me bcos I kinda carried the very "kan jiong" emotion all the way and they knew I needed the peace of God.

And of course, I managed to go to the streets, made friends with some sex workers. Met back the people we met the week before when we were doing our night walk with ICAP people. Spoke a little. Walk around the street break some strongholds and prayed, etc. there's not much sex workerrs that night, but speaking to one or two really is such an unforgettable experience.

I suddenly realized, I kinda have misconceptions last time. Realizing that they are human who chats the same way like we do. I always thought they would be very wild, out in the street, fierce, not so friendly, defensive, since they are often being taken advantage of. Turns out when we talk...they talk like anyone! About anything. Family, husband, CNY :). And I also understood some differences of culture in Malaysia and in Bangkok, Philippines. In ICAP they shared that the prostitutes are often easy to identify. In Malaysia, you got to kinda search and only know when you happen to see them doing transactions. 

I had the opportunity to pray in BM for a lady who is a drug addict and a sex worker. The boyfriend was sent to lokap. So she was very stressed out. I prayed for her for the very first time in my life in Malay!! Praise God. 

The whole experience makes me feel stronger confirmation that this is something I wanna contribute to this part of society. Reaching out to the broken. I was constantly reminded, this is a ministry that requires most patience because u don't see results right away. Each person u invest, some may take many years. So gotta constantly remind myself not to play god. Apparently from the "gurus" in ICAP most of them have tried to play god before, wanting to speed up results. Haha. Shall keep that in mind

Another amazing incident would be.... because of my tweet, one of my church member suddenly texted me. Ask me what ministry in Petaling Street that I am involved in. So I told him. And he was saying that he had always wanted to do a social enterprise that can relate to the heart of KL  and so he was very curious when he saw my tweet. So he asked me to tell him more when I'm free.

See, God knew my heart. Social entrepreneurship has always been my final solution. If I wanna help those who are discriminated, I must ultimately create a means for them to make money in the right way without being outcast by society. Even though at this point of time, I do not see myself in the right time n season to do that yet.. But its amazing how God does show me a glimpse of Him in the plan.

I am so grateful. This is the day in my life I want to remember. Thank You God, for giving me this privilege in life :)

My greatest honor will always be to serve my Lord and King.