The memorable 17 June

 I still remember the times when I really prepared for this retreat. We started preparing two to three months back, wanting to go melaka, wanting to getaway from the busy KL to refresh ourselves before we prepare for a new season.

And I remember the countless late nights, preparing and cooking a sermon that I hope God would use to change the lives of many. We were all excited and eager to receive from God. Expectant. For something to happen. 

That morning, my housemate came to warn me to be careful on the highway. Immediately I felt a strange feeling, and I quickly messaged all the drivers and interns to pray before we start our journey. So we prayed. I fasted that day, in preparation for God to use me. I was really excited. And then we started our journey...we managed to wave through the jam and finally got into the highway. Two cars were convoy-ing behind one another. The other two went separately because they knew the way.

In the midst, I saw a car seeming to be stepping on its brake. So I took it as a signal to slow down, and slew down, only to realize, it was a total stop. Trying to avoid, I couldn't and afraid the jam brake would throw my passengers off the window, I tried to not to jam brake (of course by now you would know how foolish I am because CITY has ABS system. Haahaha). 

Nonetheless, I crash on the car in front of us, and the car behind came crashing following after. Concern for my members, I went down, checking on the car behind. members were in pain. I was really concerned, not to mention panicked. First person I called - Shirley Boon. There when I was talking to her, a tow truck guy came and talk to me.....we moved our car to the side of the road, and then the first vehicle I have crashed on, left. We suspected a trap that has caused the accident. But my members were in pain. So couldn't be bothered. Lesson learned. FIRST THING, write down the number plate....

Anyway, immediately I requested for PLUS people to fetch them for a checkup. They told me ambulance was on the way! GOSH @@ Frustration at why they do not have any urgency. Anyway, I called my brother after that, and he called my dad. So Dad settled with the tow truck guy. Tow truck guy: insisted to drag the car to the workshop. Dad said: NO! ...so finally, it was towed to the nearest police station which is 15 minutes away. Guess how much is it? 300!!! the cost for NOT letting them tow your car to the workshop. Sheeessh....sucha blood sucker aye :P

All these aside...!

Through this incident, I have so many things  to thank God for. Let me do it one-by-one:

• Thank God I slowed down, and crashed - my passengers weren't wearing any seat belts
• Thank God I was the second car. CITY was built in such a way that it will crumple upon hit, but it will absorb and minimize impact
• Thank God the car behind us, ALL PASSENGERS were wearing seat belts.
• Thank God while we were waiting by the road side, another car of our members passby, we exchange passengers and went ahead to the hospital quicker.
• Thank God Shirley Boon calmed me down and talk to the tow truck guy
• Thank God I called my first brother, thereafter calm my dad before talking to him. 
• Thank God my dad came, saw the car and decided it is more important I am saved. 
• Thank God nobody was hurt after checkup
• Thank God we have FOUR angels who rushed down to our aid as a moral support, and car support: Shirley Boon, Anthony, Jeffrey Choong, Eng Kim
• Thank God the retreat didn't cancel.

At that moment, when my dad said he is coming down to get me and to get me home....my whole head was spinning despite of all the errands t o be run, I was thinking....HOW NOW? Can the retreat continue? As I decided that it should continue, and asked my intern to preach instead (since I got to go back), Shirley Boon called and said, she would come to comfort and minister to them. This is a great lesson of sacrifice to me. To me, she didn't just TELL me what to do. She came to HELP when all else is impossible. She made things possible. She stood in the gap. I was so blessed by her action! So so blessed.

We lodge police reports, and finally, she went on with the rest to retreat. I went home with my dad. The emotion then was of guilt, and of many other things. We were so expectant of God to move, and then now, everyone got traumatized in the trip that we are suppose to be refreshed by God. Everyone was affected emotionally and psychologically. Some members had issues with their parents. I was devastated. But God was really really good. God sent many others to comfort me. Assuring me, the best had been done. And it still happened. And the fact that there is such a resistant for the retreat, all the more it should continue. Shirley said, she will help minister to all who were traumatized.

I was relief. Now knowing for sure that they are all in good hands. Went home with still trauma and fear. But it was really a memorable time at home. Everything turned out for good!

• Dad didn't scold
• mom didn't scold
• dad offered to buy a better car : volks wagon
• Had a good time of chit chatting with brother's wife
• Retreat was amazing : report from members -- the presence of God was really really strong.
• All had fun, all was ministered
• Turned out to be the most memorable retreat ever.

God turned a bad situation into a good one. One that has caused all our members to be closer to one another. One that has taught me so much about sacrificing for the sake of members. So much about mercy, so much about grace. As a family E45, E30, we went through everything together. I remember receiving sms-es from members, them wanting to come and visit me the moment they knew I arrive at KL, all these brought us closer together. God is amazing.

God was there every moment and every step of it. And I am glad today, I could find the strength, and the joy, and the reasons to thank God for. Without Him, where would WE be today. Without Him...all things wouldn't have turned out for good. 

Thank you, dad...mom...brothers....for really caring and showing me love time I needed it the most.

Thank you, Shirley, Eng Kim, Anthony, Jeff....for coming to our rescue. Things wouldn't have been so smooth without you guys standing in.

Thank you, E30 & E45 for staying strong, firm, loving and united throughout all these. You are the gems of my heart. thank you for being a family.

I could not thank God enough. Last but  not least....Thank God for everything!

This year many big events and big decisions happened in my life. FUH!! It must be all for a reason. I am anticipating the coming days. I know the best is yet to come.....

This will be one of the greatest testimony I have so far, for many days to come. my life, my family, everything was preserved and strengthened. I am really blessed. more hopeful for the future than ever!!!!!

New day...new dawn! :)

Heartfelt moment...

Today, as I witnessed the baptism of one of my member, Amy....I felt really touched.

Looking at the lives dipping into the water, rising up again, people cheering....non-believers may not understand. Even Christians, sometimes do not understand what it means. Part of a Christian process some would say.

But I have all along knew that baptism is something really significant. So much so, that even non-Christians understand that you are never really a Christian unless you get water baptized. my mom always thinks that way. That is the reason why, she often think that so long as I am not baptized, I am still not really a Christian and can "slide back" to my old religion.

Today as I went and looked at those beautiful people immerse and rise again, tears begin to well up in my eyes. Today so many people have decided that they will DECLARE their faith and love for God. And that from today onwards, they will be identified with Christ. Living not a life of their old. The old is dead (dip into the water), the resurrected is a new life (up from the water again).


I want to be FULLY identified with Christ. And I know the moment I decide that, I can no longer turn back, and each and every action I take I represent Christ. Asked my member how she felt after being baptized, she replied "I feel really really really good". Indeed, it is not just an activity. Something spiritual does happen when one is baptized.

I am anticipating mine. A FULL life as disciple of Christ. I will be joining the next baptism with one of my very close friend. Even though we know this decision will lead to many possible consequences, but we know, it will be worth it. There is a significance we anticipate to be part of. There will be a difference.

Can't wait...=)

I love birthdays...

I love birthdays....especially mine :P

Really pampered this year. So many things happened, and so many blessings. Just a little lazy to type all of them here. Oh well.....

I will do it SOON!

Procrastination in posting blogpost seem to be a very common thing to me now :S
oopps~

This is YOUR LIFE

"This Is Your Life"

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose 

As I was driving home, I had the longest flashback ever (with the rain and the jam).

It was long ago since I heard this song. But it spoke to me so much. 

I was brought back to the first time when I received Christ, on how I really became so passionate in preaching the gospel, in showing love, in becoming better. my lifestyle was exciting every single day. In doing so many things. Deep inside, I have a sense that I CAN do great things for God. And at that time  it doesn't matter what my circumstances were. I didn't care! I couldn't care less. I just want to love God, worship Him and do everything I could for Him, I found something to live excitedly for every single day. Not one day was boring.

As we grew older...this sense of passion seem to vanish somewhere. We often think of the "yesterdays" of life...the "good old days" so-called. When times were simpler, less worries, less responsibilities. Now, it is harder to cope...so lets be more lenient on ourselves. You are not young anymore, why push yourself to the limit? Working hours is already 8 hours! You need rest....Ah...but "Yesterday" you did it all...you did well...wow, how you wish you were in yester years, where times were not so busy, and you can do more things...

But hello, the yesterdays are wrinkle the forehead. it is consumed by time, it is dead and over, and indeed...it is a promise broken.

We always tell ourselves...when I am older, when I have more freedom, I have more money...this is the person I want to be. I want to make a difference. I want to brave to speak for the broken, for the underprivileged, I want to shower love, I want to go to Africa, I want to go to the homeless children, the abused....its all but a promise broken.

Today, as we reflect on our lives. Is it the ONE that we expect to live, the ONE we have dreamed it would be? FULL of fire, FULL of passion? When the world was younger, when we were younger, when nothing else matters but our passion, our dreams, when we were fearless and have nothing to lose. Everything to risk. We are just so consumed by our passion. Where is it now?

"We are busy now and have more responsibilities"....some would say

Now that we are grown up, all these are like distant away. Practicality comes first, passion comes later. Earning more, do not take risk, stay safe, what ifs of being rejected, or things will never turn out the way we hoped it would be and we will have to face embarrassments, insults, circumstances, shame....etc etc

ENOUGH! I had everything to lose once. I should have even more now. Today, as much as it is important to be wise, to be practical, I want to live a life that has everything to lose....without regrets, without what ifs....Live everyday, like it is your LAST

Step one: Let the LOVE REVOLUTION begin!

Just passed my 24th birthday...time to rekindle the "old flame"...the passion of the to-do list I once had. Let's go dig it out (wait for my next blog). Shall not wait till I am 30, and when I have 5 kids to juggle, with house chores, a husband and a job. Hahaha! Funny scene.

What about you? Are you afraid to revisit that dream or that passion buried deep down within? To be a singer? a writer? "too old" perhaps you feel?

This is your life. Are you who you gonna be? 

TODAY IS ALL YOU HAVE GOT NOW!!!

Sometimes.....

Sometimes, when I am tired, and I have a lot of things to manage and do...
To complete within a day, and I ALREADY need much more strength and focus and energy than usual (because I am tired), I'd appreciate some peace and quiet (This is especially NECESSARY when I am very tired).


There are times for us to finish up our tasks, there are times to hang around and talk. I don't mind talking, but to me, the setting, the place, the TIME is very important. I need to switch mode. I cannot be at TWO modes at once. I feel very divided. Unless if I am very PEK CHEK and I need an output to rant my feelings. Other than that, I really cannot "layan" talks about many many others. You can talk to me about yourself. But not others.


I realize recently, I kinda feel my privacy invaded when people keep looking for me to just talk. Talk about others, talk about things that will not change or solve anything. Just ranting, gossips, empty talks. What joy does it gives? I don't find it fruitful. Maybe it is an output, of stress release for that person. Sigh...I should be more gracious. But I feel, perhaps, at a time when we are all done with our work, we can talk about it? A better time, when I am more ready to listen?


Have I become an INTROVERT gradually? *gasp*....sign of old age. hahahaha! Hmm....perhaps I am just too tired with the deprived sleep recently. Not very used to it after OFF college life. Easily frust without full 6 hours sleep. LOL. Sigh...alright, I need to keep giving love. Be a good listener. Be patient.


Ultimately....I need to sleep FULL SIX HOURS! I don't care whether it is an aging matter or what. But, without that, anything can drive you up the wall! Like seriously! Lol.

Jialat.

I can't Believe

Can't believe I am living at such an exciting times like these.

Can't believe I am part of such a GREAT vision. Doesn't matter what is going on with life, there is always a greater that is worth living for and going on for.

So many things have happened. Wish I had the time to blog all of them. Perhaps after work today. :)


This is it....! The greater cause the greater call. Here I am. Send me.

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I hope I can get married to a rich guy SOON!!

Haha....why you ask?

Just so that I do not need to work already (financially stable) and do what I am really passionate about FULL TIME. Redeem the broken lives, in the dark alleys, and the back streets.

But then again....it is important to SHINE in the marketplace. Just a random post, random thought. haha. :) Oh well, if it is His will, we'll know! God is good. Renewed passion. New season.

New day, new dawn.