The Root?

This morning after doing my devotion, as I was preparing for work...showering, I got my "Eureka" moment. Hmm...now I realize, recently I have been having a lot of "Aha" moments in the washroom. Good sign, good sign....at least it shows that time are well spent. Not wasted into nothing box or zooming into the blank sheet zone. Wanted to blog this all morning. Better blog this off before I enter into the endless printing spree...again

As I was saying, I was having this "Eureka" moment...All because I was thinking of someone very dear to my heart, currently doing what she is most passionate with in her job, doing what she knows best in different parts of the world. Haha...Yesterday, a few of us got in touch with this very person, and she was telling us about the culture shocks she experienced as she was travelling. Kinda cool to know.

Then as I was bathing, I was thinking to myself of the different cultures around the world, then I begin to think about mine! And I got in touch with the term "China man mindset". Now, not being discriminative, I love Chinese people (because I am obviously Chinese) and I have nothing against China and its way of doing things. It is just, differences in culture. And I appreciate that.

Then, I begin to think of the way my family is structured. Wow. This is really cool....the term "China man mindset" does not only apply to the business world. Talk about my family, I grow up in a very controlled, proper, well-disciplined family. Come to think of it, running a family is like running a small country, eh? My family could be adopting the idealogy of the China government. Haha. But then again, that's just a thought. (Don't wanna get sued for writing statements without basis in public :P)....

Recently I got to know that it is still a practice in China that boys and girls aren't allowed to sit together! They have to divide themselves. Wow...that sounds like my dearest daddy! Haha...even until I was 15 or 16, hanging out with boys in a GROUP is most of the time an offense to him! Or a guy friend offering me a ride, is totally unacceptable to him! He even claim that I can only get attached at the age of 25 (obviously I broke the rule :P). But then again, I know he is just being protective over his beloved daughter. Hee *love you daddy*

Then, there are rules and regulations, like girls having have to be more homely, learning to cook, wash the dishes, doll up, be pretty, have to be seen at home most of the time...in my family, guys can escape any house chores...but girls..or I would say GIRL (I am the only daughter) has to do most of the chores! Mom wouldn't mind if brothers doesn't wash their plates...but mom make a big fuss if daughter didn't wash hers. Haha...Good discipline I would say. According to mom, I need to serve my husband in all these in future...which is true to an extent. I wouldn't mind serving my husband, but I wouldn't mind a little help either!
Then it comes to guys being the head of the family, which is true...it is very biblical...but guys get to order the ladies around! Woot! Not that it happens all the time in my own primary family...most of us are modernized and received education on equality so on and so forth (well, at least I would fight for my rights...no chance for bullies ;P)....but I realize it happens in my extended family! The girls, being reserved and submissive...but to the extent that men get to have their says, and girls shouldn't comment so much. This is especially practiced by my Grandpa...and when girls have too much opinion...he would say: girls shouldn't talk so much....or my uncle saying: you are a girl! what do you know! Even my mom do agree to it occassionally...."we are girls, what do we know"...hmmm...I refuse to succumb to that. Yes, we are girl, yes we need to submit to the head of family, but I believe in the freedom of speech and opinions too. Haha..Oh well, as much as I would love giving my opinions, I still speak less in respect to my grandpa and uncles....Like what my mom always say: When you are under my roof, you succumb to my rules. Hah!

Haha...not complaining here....but I come to realize all these things....they are so related by the places we come from! I realize that not only in families, but also in certain nation, culture, schools, groups of friends...etc... it is hard to just come in and bring change, shake their boats a little, shake their faith a little, with something new. They can be so attached to old practices, that they find comfort sticking to it even when it is no longer effective in the modern times. Perhaps, people do find security in rigidity? Hmmm...something to think of.



And in a lot of places whereby freedom are not exactly easily found like the developed nations, the more you deprive the citizens of something, the more hungry they are for those things in their lives. In fact, it is most impactful to them because they don't come easy. Likewise, in my family, things are the same. The more our parents try to deprive us of something, the more desperate we are to cling on to it, and fight for it. For instance, the more my parents try to stop us from getting involved in BGR, the more we were desperate for it to try out! Or the more they try not to mention what they called "sensitive issues" (lets say forbid to eat ice cream..LOL) the more we want to find out (or the more we want to have it)! And boy....what chaos it was when information were discovered! We go underground, craving more once we got our hands on it (eating ice creams non stop in schools!) haha...this is ESPECIALLY TRUE for rebellious boys...*ahem*...and I won't deny, it has been true, even till today for me in certain areas of my life. Areas I am not accepted for, areas that I am not given liberty, and by force was obliged to submit... Hmm....ain't it a great thought? Maybe I should try deprive my members of certain things for them to be hungry for it. Haha!
Just kidding. I think I should send them to certain places for them to observe culture, differences, and start appreciating what they have currently.

No wonder, attending Piper's Ministry, they actually teach us that there are certain spirits you will inherit coming from different nations! Now I understand why. It is true to certain extent that where you come from, does affect your upbringing, your mindsets, your thoughts, the things you find security in. And especially if it has been a practice for a long long long long time....you would find it even hard to break away from this rigidity. But as a believer, I am glad, I discover this truth....and I find that breaking away from rigidity, is a constant thing we need to do as the world evolve. As things improve. Now we wouldn't want to be labeled as backward, or irrelevant, would we?

Understanding this, makes me have more compassion for people around me. And I admit sometimes being human, I can disagree and really dislike certain values in my very own family. But understanding all these, it makes me realize why certain thoughts are being wired that way....and that I need to give more grace and compassion. I need to understand, the kind of emotions, the kind of wavelength that goes on in the brains, and what kind of anxiety they go through....I begin to love my family more. I begin to have more compassion, more grace, more understanding rather than judgments. *sweet sigh*



Thank You, God for this "Eureka" moments.

No wonder Chinese are so grounded to sticking to their roots. It makes them feel really belong to one another, and more than that, understand and love one another even more. Haha.

I LOVE MY FAMILY!

Alright, time to go full force with work! Woosh~

Starting A Love Revolution

On my way home, the long journey back from Taiping, I manage to catch some reading on the "Love Revolution" written by Joyce Meyer (most of the journey I was half asleep :P)...I read on how love revolution should come about, and boy...Joyce Meyer is amazing.




She mentioned that there was once she asked God, how can He see the hurts and pains in the world and do nothing? And then God answered her: That is why He need His people as a vessel to do something in this fallen world. Often we talk about how fallen today's world is, how bad things are this and that....but rarely, any of us actually take any action to do something about it. We all agree that the world needs help, needs love....but none of us actually step out and be the one in the field,doing the helping, the loving. All we could do was just throw words like "somebody should do something!"....somebody who? somebody but not me....!



Reading that book....ONLY the first chapter, I really felt tears welling in my eyes. I read the short articles she posted up about sex trafficking, sex slavery, children who know nothing but their bodies being abused, malnutrition, street kids....Who is there to put a stop to this? Who is there to tell them there's hope, there are more to life? Often we are so caught up with preaching the gospel of love, when the one thing they need is really....just an act of love! We fail to do that....we go around these people, giving them tracts about the gospel....But we did not go into their lives, step into their world, get our hands dirty...and let them know there are still others who care about their lives....who love them. Are we then, a salt that make a difference in this world? Or a salt that loses it taste? or a lamp under the shades....not shining?
After reading that, with deep compassion in my heart....I told God in my very own simple prayer....

Dear God,
- I want to help children in sex slavery
- I want to help children without homes
- I want to do something about malnutrition problem
- I want to help defiant and rebellious people
- I wanna give them a sense of hope, destiny, purpose and dreams, a greater vision to live for
- I want them to know they worth far greater than what the society has define them and
- I hope to make a difference in the lives of the children who has no power to change their circumstances


In fact, I have prayed this prayer before. But that's it! Nothing more. A wishful thinking...So, I told Melvyn about it as he was driving along the rainy highway. Thus, after reaching KL, and catching a movie (The Sorceror's Apprentice....BOY, its a MUST WATCH! ...very good)....Melvyn decided to take me for a little tour in KL....He said this: Bee, I will bring you to the world that needs Christ very much.


He drove me around Chow Kit Road. And the common people should know what to expect there. Many broken people without homes, prostitutes, lusting men.....people who probably lose recognition of their own identities...I don't know. According to Melvyn, what I saw tonight was very very minimal. Usually there were more around. The sight of it was devastating. Not that they were ugly, or there was anything obscene. They were just merely standing by the streets. But it breaks my heart to see them having have to do that. To not know the true meaning to life! There are so many ways to earn....do they know that? Or are they bounded to syndicates...what is exactly going on?




Is there anyone to help them? Is there anyone to stop this? Is there anyone to love them, letting them know how much they worth...and that there are more things to do! Is there anything to be done! I really wish I know what I can do. I hope I can make a difference...Compassion is not enough. Something needs to be done. Someone needs to let them know they are loved....not for the services they can give....but for WHO THEY REALLY ARE! Someone needs to let them know, there is no need to give and yet they can freely receive love without condition....This is LOVE REVOLUTION.




I want to start a LOVE REVOLUTION. So badly. It is easy...well, I won't say totally easy...but it is definitely easier to show love to those who comes to cell group, fellowship with us....those who are within the circles of our reach. People who are at least more similar, or rather do not divert that far from our values. It is easier to be in touch with those (even though may have very messy past or lives) who are naturally more in par with where we come from. But what about those who are really really different? Those who have been devalued all their lives? Those who are totally not within our reach? The poor, the needy, the abused, those out in the brutal streets? Those who need to fight for survival eversince they were little kids? Those without a chance for proper education, or even a home? What about those whom these words "I understand" is not applicable because we truly cannot begin to understand or imagine the ordeals and pains they need to go through? How do you revive trust, and love for those whose love and hope has been shattered to pieces, thrown down the drain, trampled over and over and over and over again?




What can we do? What can I do. I have compassion. But what can I actually DO? Where do I start? How do I go about it? What can I provide? Is there an actual, trustable, truly loving resource that is able to give hope (not false hope), security and love to them?
Really...Lately God has given me so much ideas, so many things to do. I have begin to think of new ways to expand in career....Now, I am being challenged to be more radical in loving the people God loves. Fuh, maybe should tell God to give a pause for me to cope all first. Else, everything become NATO. No action, Talk Only. haha.

Seriously, my qustion is, where do I start? Can I find a proper, genuine foundation to be involved with on this? Hmm....this is really something to think about.

Let's start a Love Revolution, shall we?



(Wow...Imagine, reading the 1st chapter spark so much thoughts! Can't wait to finish the whole book...must be totally life-changing)

My two cents.

Night, world. God loves you. I love you too.

22.7.2010

It has been long since I blogged.

Would like to record down the very important moments in my life.

Apart from being attached currently (LOL...surely you have a lot of revelations and depend on God more than ever)....I have been feeling that something within was awaiting to breakthrough.

Recently I couldn't stop thanking God that I am alive at a time such as this. Being such a dynamic church. My mind has been constantly blown away again and again and again...From Asia Conference, to Services with AR Bernard, To Pastor Andrew Gray, and then Pastor John Andrews...

Just felt something within expanded. And I begin to think of ways to really do more things, within the CG, with my life, with my family, with my work....Just felt my perception change altogether and especially now being in a relationship, I believe both Melvyn and I can do even more to bring down the Kingdom of God...

I was amazed by all these amazing speakers challenging my mindset, my heart over and over again....and wow...God is just amazing. Perhaps I should consider going SOT sooner! Hahaha....Hmm...but right now, whatever revelation He has given me, is more than enough for me to work for at this stage.

Can't wait to hear more, see more and do more with God...! Woooohoooo!!

Loving Jesus more and more everyday!

Birthday Celebration 2010

Today, I had a delayed, elaborated and wonderful celebration with my cell members. They lied to me....saying that they were suppose to celebrate Charis' birthday...and lied to Charis that they were suppose to celebrate my birthday! Haha...Ok...I thought to myself...that is quite a smart move, eh? However, this is what my cute members did. They rented the Station ONE stage, and made a deal with station one that they can sing a few songs. Melvyn, Yi Zhen and Kevin Rimas were present too!

So the moment we stepped in, they sang some "jolly fellow" song to welcome us. And that was finally when we realized they were celebrating both our birthdays. And then...sat us down directly in front of the stage. Jireh and Grace, emcees of the night.....Jireh fill up the gap of time onstage with some other emo songs. We had personal waitresses (Tress and Grace), getting our orders (fuh...talk about efficiency, we acted before the waiter comes to take order). WUAH...felt like a princess honestly! All needs MET!

Then, while waiting for our food...my members went up onstage again and sang the song....The Climb...by Miley Cyrus....this song touches my heart the most, looking at everyone of them singing with all their heart. Those who are close to me, they would indeed know this song means something to all of us as cell group members. Haha...:) So touched!

Then each of them, went onstage one by one, shared their testimonies and hearts out about how they truly appreciate Charis and me (will upload their testimonies soon). We were both beyond speechless. Didn't realize that they could remember all the things done together! Some I couldn't even remember if I did :)....Truly a touching moment. Huhuhu~ T_T

Then, after some singings, makan, we played some game (Sabo people drink weird drink), then present presentation!!! tanaaa...

speaking about present. my choir member celebrated my birthday last Saturday too! With the sampat people...and boy!! They gave me a super wonderful big present!!! See...see...xP

 

Not only them, Shirley, my beautiful, anointed, special leadear...and some few close people in subzone were there to celebrate Anna and my birthday too! Gosh...we are so blessed and honored!! :) Feel so LOVED! :D

So back to my cell members celebration, after everything, some sharing on my part...touching touching...singing that's what friends are for...(so cute right?...we actually sang it so loud in station one....competing with the stereo...haha)....Kevin praying for us....we went home.

I really enjoyed the birthday. Beyond the celebration, the thing that cause me to feel really loved, blessed and honored....is looking back at their lives before...and now...how they came a long way to where they are today...how they fought, struggle through, decide, fall, get up...and just keep going......I feel so privileged to be loved by these amazing bunch of people.....they do not know this, but it is truly an honor that I am given the opportunity to be part of their lives...I wouldn't want to have it any other way...They are indeed my family! :)

 

Love all of you. Keep shining, keep smiling knowing you (I) can always count on me (you)...for sure! That's what friends are FOR!

:)

Empowerment Meeting!

Last Sunday, I went to Chinese Church to draw from my ever beloved leader, Shirley Boon. Boy, her message yet again so relevant and so.......NECESSARY!! I think I need to do that whenever I am free on Sundays. Her ONE word always changes life.

After listening to her message, immediately that Sunday itself, I decided, I need to have an empowerment meeting. I need to preach and motivate my core about this! About seeking God. It is so important.We often know the why, but not the what...not how to do it....we are too used to the routine. Becoming robots, that we lose the true reason behind it all. The truth is, you don't pray because you have problems, you don't pray because you are a Christian, you don't pray because you have to fulfill a religious duty....you pray TO LOVE!

Ok, I cannot begin to tell you the sermon now, else I would be violating her copyright XP....hehee...anyway....I wrote everything down that Sunday morning....and I was eager to start an empowerment meeting that very day. My members couldn't make it on Sunday night, so we shift it to Wednesday. That Tuesday night I was in Shirley's place just chatting away with few others...etc....and then I told her I need to prepare my empowerment meeting material for Wednesday night. I didn't even tell her I was going to share what she preached last Sunday. She just told me...let me send you my last Sunday's material in English Version! I was SOOOOOOO shocked. How did she even know my heart? Haha... and I nodded eagerly of course! That would make life SO MUCH easier!

So last night, we had empowerment meeting. The presence of God was so strong. It was such a joy to see these people experiencing continual revival in their hearts, drawing and clinging on to the presence of God...Just worshipping Him...and that's it! No agenda. A lot of time core members always have to rush this rush that for cell group, for service, make sure things are taken care of.....it is good...but there are TOO MANY NOISES. Rarely, people would take time to just sit down and listen...and just enjoy the presence of God. Sometimes, they don't even know how....or forget how to draw from the presence of God again. But last night....it was just us...soaking in the presence of God. Period.

Last challenge I left for them to ponder....and for all of you as well.....

Truly to seek God, you need to die to yourself. But would you rather leave everything that you DESIRE and WANT to just be in the presence of God.....or decide to pursue your dreams, achieve success, go after everything you want....but lose the presence of God forever? :) sometimes you cannot have both. Sometimes, some things need to be sacrificed. What would you do?:)

Jeng Jeng Jeng.

Let's be empowered ourselves by seeking God's face every single day. That you will not move or go anywhere without the presence of God with you. You do not need an empowerment meeting to experience God time in time out. You just need one thing....desperation for God.

toodles!

Internet Down

Won't be able to online for many more days to come in Taiping. In fact, haven't been really onlining for 3 weeks.....pfftt

Currently in dad's office trying to load myself with the countless numbers of email. woohoo! fun. Anything urgent, do not hesitate to call me or sms me peeps. Till I see all of you again (very soon)....Happyy Chinese New Year!!!! :D

Doing it Right!

I learned a really really valuable lesson today. Last night, as I was challenging my member to do the right thing, the morning, I was faced with the dilemma of doing what is right but could possibly jeopardize the trust of another person, or keep the trust, and just ignore doing the right thing. Then I repeatedly questioned myself, if I was in the position of advising a member, what would I have asked him or her to do?

Then immediately, I decided, I wanted to do the right thing. Regardless of the consequences, I just want to live up to my words, and also because I truly truly want one thing only. That my focus would be God. Doing His will, doing what pleases Him. Not the world. Not an easy decision, as I would honestly admit that the moment it was done, there were so many things running through my mind. Negative consequences, and what possibly would happen.

Then, I suddenly was reminded by my member, telling me that he could not bear the thought of his future. And it struck me like a rebuke. Immediately I texted a best friend, and I prayed. God spoke one thing to me: "Hazel, it is no longer about whether people would understand or not, it is about doing the right thing. Your focus is Me, and nothing else." Right then, I just felt peace, I moved on and I was happy. Liberated that I have done the right thing, and I no longer want to allow whatever thoughts to make me worry about something that has not even happen. Or rather, worry about things that should not even affect me. I just find peace that I have done the right thing. And that's it. No burdens!

I was very happy with my new found peace. Few hours later, I received a call from a person, and find that everything was totally awesome. My suspicion of negative reactions of consequences were way pass behind. God made it all happen for good. The person was blessed, I was blessed. I felt so much better that I was not just a kisser, but I did what was necessary for a good cause. Then, minutes later, I received a call from my member. He told me he did the right thing, and it turned out well too.

That moment, I felt the presence of God overwhelming me. It was an assuring feeling that doing the right thing can never go wrong. That I have lived up to what I preached. That He always have my back. Even though if it is a risk, even though others may not understand...But when you choose to act beyond your emotions, beyond your imagination, beyond your perception of how the consequences would be, beyond what you can comprehend....(JUST DO IT RIGHT)....and when your focus is right, it all turned out just so amazingly well.

Truly, I emphasize, it is not always comfortable, easy or popular to do the right thing. But when you choose to do it despite of the risk you are putting yourself into, you will never regret it. Because you rest in the fact, that you have done what is necessary, and you have done the will of God. No burdens....=)

God is so amazing. I love life, and I love learning so much about all these. I may make mistakes at times, but I m really enjoying this journey so much. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me in times to come. And most of all, I want to fall in love with Him...again and again.