What's with my Recent Days

Well, just feel like posting something, cos it seemed like it has been so long since i last wrote something properly in my blog...so yah!

(4 hours later...)

So, here is what is going on these days...these days i have been really healthy...sleep before 3a.m for almost a week already, waking up to read my bible, pray (more consistent now)...walk downhill to school/working place (exercise) while i munch on an apple (healthy food), and then talk to a friend or two, being more productive in work already...not sleepy and yawning most of the time...i think the devotion time must have really make things more organized for me...hee =)

 

 

 

 

 

Uh, something happened yesterday, during my one hour lunch break, i went home to bathe because previously in the morning, one of my housemates were using the toilet for HOURS....well, not really hours la..i woke up an hour earlier to get ready but ended up without a chance to use the toilet so i use my kitchen sink to wash up lor (master bedroom housemates were sleeping soundly...knocks couldn't seem to wake them up...so no chance to borrow toilet)...so feeling all oily and uneasy, i went home just to bathe....and i planned to walk down - save on taxi money...halfway through my journey...the rain started coming...so i ended up with a nice, fragrant smelling, clean washed hair...but soaked in rain...sigh...see what happens when you do ridiculous things :P hahahhaa. But it was fun...next time got stories to tell my kids and grandkids........

OK OK back to my normal routines...so these days have been closer to JAN JAN....get to sit her car, talk bout stuffs....laugh bout each other (fellowship fellowship)....nolar mainly she laughed bout me wan..especially when hunter is around..hrmph! :P sobs* but still still...its oklar...she let me drive her car some more....wuahhahahaa...i think with the handbrakes still UP travelling from ben's place to my place...huah...keng man..:P sorry ya jan jan...i will apologise to your car soon...and this girl har, she can joke without an intention to joke wan u noe? bluntly only her words come out but make the whole car laugh... *claps* and this poor girl is feeling all sick and sneezy now....nevermind..will pray for you...so jan jan, if you are reading this...just want to tell you you have been really kind and sweet..so for that, i will give you ONE chocolate when i see you k? Get well soon yah! Drink more H2O.

Then, recently have been talking to my best friend on phone also....CHARIS DING....so proud of the way she has grown so much eversince the last time i met her....feels like part of the growth...hee...and ya..after awhile we didn't talk, talking back makes me feel so homely....like back in high school, in those days when times were tough because they were so full of drama...LOL...hahaha...kiddish dramas...hee..those were times when we talk and talk and talk...talk through lessons *tsk tsk*...wuahahhaa...but then now, not much chance to do so already being in a different university, different environment...but the amazing thing is...still feel the closeness even after so long....charis ding...aiya...we should meet up someday man...and update each other...miss you much much

Then, Leow Hun Ter...hrmm... OK nice things about him...recently has been really helpful...very encouraging....a brother who really take good care of me wan la....at times might be quite ignorant...hee....but oklar..only when got "attractive" people around lah...wuahaha..LOL...ok joking joking...he will forgive me for this one...:P anyway....he has been really really encouraging...recently had a scary bus incident..thank God saw him right after i got down from bus..waited for me...fuh!..thanks ya bro...

(cannot find his picture...)

recently have been missing mom and dad alot, and little brother...wow growing bigger, darker and more handsome already...missing my two older brothers also...oh big kor kor has only recently brought me to eat the famous hokkien mai fun....so nice ehh...heee...

 

Also have been really caught up with emerge competitions...wow whoever...if you are reading this! you must come!!!!! EMERGE 2007 is one youth conference you will NEVER WANT TO MISS!!!

we have canggih canggih competition like the transformer, basketball, captain ball, shoe design, costume design, make up, hairdo, wordpower, how smart you think you are?, who wants to be a missionary?, essay competition, singing, dancing, stomp the yard, parade of school, ps2, nintendo wii, Counter Strike, DOTA, and many many many many many many more......so don't miss it

 

Also three vibrant nights with Rev. Kong....your life will be transformed man....and you must also dress funkily...nicely...(not necessary formal)...who knows you will win the best-dressed award huh?...hehe...and also great fun with famous celebrities performing during this conference...well, cannot tell you who lar...you just have to come and find out for yourself...nyek nyek nyek.....just browse my calendar for more updates k?

Meanwhile, feeling a little drained out after typing so much...phew! Rest over!...Back to work now...see you in next blog =)

 

How well you know Hazel?

do take do take.....woohoo this is fun =) try it!

 

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The Journey of Preaching Test

Last night i had my preaching test...and i just truly truly feel so so so so blessed that throughout the journey i felt the homely family love, and support...and i really really feel so thankful and truly, truly..words cannot express how grateful i feel right now....

Previously, my preaching test was suppose to be next tuesday, but because i have to go back to hometown, so it was shifted to the earlier session, which was yesterday...i only got to know it the friday before..meaning i only had about 3 to 4 days to prepare as i had just finished my finals on the wednesday before...

so as i was preparing the sermon, i felt really really pressured...i felt like i couldn't give my best because everything was in such a hurry...so i kept preparing and preparing and feeling pressured from time to time...until God hit me on saturday night...He asked me..."hey, are you preparing for the preaching test itself, or preparing for me to speak through you?"...and that really struck me and immediately i stopped everything and began to pray...

i knew then, my heart was only concern about doing well and about being able to score good marks and nothing else....moreover i always thought that the preaching test is a test....and it is bound to be treated as a test...however that night, God said...no hazel...preparing a sermon for a test, and preparing a sermon with an expectancy to impact people's life is different...whether in the end we did impact or not is another issue, but what matters most then was the attitude in preparing the sermon. Because every sermon and preaching of God's word are bound to be done to bring Him glory. Whether it is for the church or merely a test, it is equally important. it is not meant to be prepared for the sake of passing a test. Therefore to harvest a right attitude is very important...

well, that night after talking to God, instantly the pointers for my sermon began flowing out like water. In fact i wrote TWO sermons..hallelujah! the power and wisdom from God...but this cos me confusion as i don't know which to choose. Alot of people suggested that i preached on a sermon which is able to generalize to everyone...but people like jeff, kent, audrey insisted that i should preach on a sermon which is personal to me...so in the end i told myself...i will let my cell leader discern, what she says...goes...so in the end, shirley called me and say she felt that i should preach on the  sermon which i have personalized....and so yah..rite after that i begin editing and producing it....

during the test, i was really really nervous...signs of nervousness were even very obvious to everyone...ahhaha...i didn't even follow the sermon i have written because i couldn't keep track with where i was...haha...however, in the end, everything went on well, and i was deeply encouraged by everyone who supported me and give me positive remarks after i have delivered the message...:) thank you so much

and truly, it is not so much on how well i preached, but rather...the journey that had made me realised a lot of things, i know know i am in the care of one great big family who never cease to support me, love me, and push me forward with encouraging words...and truly i feel really blessed being able to go through this preaching test...because not only i learn alot during the test, but i also learn alot throughout the journey of preparing it...

and i so i would like to take the opportunity to thank a few people who has really encouraged me till the very end in this blog...:

KENT, for calling me late at night even when you are truly truly tired...it really shows how much you are willing to go the extra mile to help me...and to guide me and support me..thank you so much...feel really encouraged...

JEFF, for taking your time off to read my sermons, suggesting where to cut, what to do and how can i enhance it and make it better from time to time...i really thank you alot...and also for your constant encouragement...really helps me alot...thank you so much

AUDREY, BEN, PATRICK, PHOEBE, SHINTA, HANA, RANDALL, EDWIN, JIMMY, LORDSON and those i might have forgotten to mention...thank you for your prayers and support...truly feel very very blessed...

SIEW MIN and KENLO...for coming all the way to see me preach (wonder if it is to support or to get some tips eh?...hahaha...but its ok...i feel encouraged)...the fact that you guys come all the way really make me feel so supported...

SANDY, ELVIS, LAVERNE, HAZEL HOR, GINA, CALVIN, KAR WAI and all whom i didn't mention...thank you for sitting through and supporting me, giving me encouraging and positive words even after i have preached...HAZEL HOR, GINA, CALVIN, and KAR WAI you guys did very very very well....your preachings were really powerful...it is an honor to take this test together with all of you...SANDY, thank you for being so sweet, sitting in the middle nodding and nodding as i preached regulating my nervousness..hehe, ELVIS being so productive, thank you for telling me all the do's and don'ts even after the test in order to help me to improve for the future...hee

ESTEE, in taiping...who stayed up till so late...or rather early in the morning to help me with the editings of the sermon...truly feel really thankful...even tho it wasn't used, but i promise i will use it and put it into good use..ya? thank u soo much

PASTOR DALBIR AND AUNTY LAI PHING back in taiping...for constantly praying, sending encouraging words, and also eagerly sms-ing to ask how it went...thank you so much....your support really make me feel so loved...

HUNTER, my great ge ge....thanks for being a brother who always support and telling me that i can do it even when i doubt if i could...

CHARIS, my best friend and my english teacher...for being so willing to look through and check for grammar or spelling errors before presenting it..that night i am glad i called you...felt so nice talking so much after such a long long time...

my cousins, REON and ARIEL...thank you for your prayers and your support also...

SHIRLEY BOON....for taking your time to read and edit my sermon for me...for wanting to rehearse with me (unfortunately i couldn't make it in time to church), and discerning which sermon more suitable for me to preach, encouraging me and supporting me throughout the journey....

MOST IMPORTANTLY, GOD...for giving me the opportunity to join this training, to gain experience and learn to be my best from time to time...and for giving me such a great family that supports me...making this journey a meaningful one...

and truly indeed, i feel very very very very very much supported and at home :) love you guys.

mwah to all...heee =) God bless always. 

p/s: in case you thought of this, those names above are not in any particular order according to importance (means wherever your names are it doesn't make you more or less important...jus random placing)...so ya....everyone is equally important to me...and i just want to clarify this, in case you guys were wondering, what orders are they arranged according to...=P

 

PARTY IN HEAVEN!!!!!!

My roomie has just accepted

 CHRIST... did the sinner's prayer

last night...so happy!!..there must

be a grand celebration in heaven

right now...welcome to the FAMILY

OF GOD dearest Miss LONG =) =)

=) and CONGRATULATIONS...in

this beautiful journey with GOD,

we shall walk hand in hand

upholding each other, alright?

My Public Confession

Today, i did a mistake…an honest one….it was during worship in cell group that I felt God tugging my heart telling me to ask the cell group to continue worshipping…but I didn’t do anything then because I was thinking to myself, if really God wanted to tell the cell group something, why didn’t He tell it through my cell leader, she is the leader anyway…so I tried suppressing the feeling until when worship ended, and the time of testimony started, I began feeling my heart beating faster and faster…my hands were shaking and I was feeling really overwhelmed…I felt really moved by the Holy Spirit (or so i thought) to tell the cell group about God wanting them to worship Him more…so I attempted to tell my cell leader, but she didn’t react much and tried avoiding the conversation as there were a lot others sharing testimonies that time…and I didn’t thought much that she was trying to indicate that it was not such a right thing to do at that time, I thought she merely just couldn’t understand what I was trying to tell her because my voice was shivering…so I sat back at my seat…and waited for my turn to speak…and when it was my turn…I began to share what I felt…countless time, my cell leader tried to lead me to another topic, but I still couldn’t get what she was trying to say…i was thinking myself…ha?...how come she couldn’t understand what I was trying to say ya?...LOL….and yea…so because I was ignorant to the signs she was trying to give me, I continued sharing….

 

and after that, she replied my sharing by saying that we were meant to edify one another when the spirit of God moves…however, since I wanted to worship and if it is ok with everyone else, we would continue worshipping….then, when the second session of worship starts, I began to feel something wasn’t right…..so I waited till after the whole sermon ended, I went and confronted my cell leader, asking her if what I had done previously was wrong….she gracefully told me that it was not wrong for me to do that, but rather a mistake…because I did it on the wrong time…she told me that she would be more than willing to continue worshipping if I were to tell her during worship time…but because I suppressed it and waited until the testimony session started to say it, it was not a right time because, God is a God of order…and in 1 corinthians itself, this matter was taught…just perhaps I didn’t know because I was rather ignorant to The Word…because I didn’t know…just imagine if pastor is preaching halfway during a service and suddenly one person from the congregation stood up to say it is time to worship and the sermon should stop, then the church would be quite chaotic and disorganized isn’t it?.....

 

and perhaps out of guilt for ignoring God’s voice in the beginning have caused me to insist in sharing that then, because I didn’t do it when I was required to…however she repeatedly told me that it was ok because she believed it is a breakthrough for me….that all these happened so I can learn…that I must not rely too much on my feeling or emotions in discerning the movement of Holy Spirit…at that moment I felt so touched because I felt really loved and taken care of…because she was really protecting me when she supported me even when i was wrong then….and at that time also when she told me it was ok to make mistakes and all…I felt so touched that I almost cried because I thought with the mistakes I have done, perhaps she would have viewed me as a different person…at that moment I felt so embarrassed because number 1, I wasn’t aware when she was giving me the signals that it was not so right to do that…number 2, I felt like it was a mistake which should not be committed at all…perhaps this would have make her doubt whether if I am fit to be a leader or not…but no…instead…she kept encouraging me to learn and believe for a breakthrough in it…at that moment I felt so so so grateful that I could be as honest as I can be and just be who I am meant to be, good or bad….in front of her…because I know she would still continue loving me, taking care of me, and molding me no matter what…

 

After that, I didn’t thought much about this matter…until when I come home from fellowship supper, and I was left alone to think for awhile, the feeling of embarrassment began to cloud my mind again…I began feeling that I have done something wrong in public and people might be viewing me differently…perhaps I might not be able to have a good impression anymore….thank God He sent my Singapore cousin, who is a christian, to minister to me….he told me that I should stop dwelling in my past., let go, and be willing enough to let others learn from my mistakes…and it is not a matter if others look at me in a different way so long as I genuinely change from my mistakes and gain the acceptance of God…that is all that matters…after a long chat, he left…and I began striving to change this feeling of mine…

 

I began telling my roommate how I was feeling then, and she shared with me something that really opened my eyes to the solution of my problems then…she told me that she used to have a very very embarrassing moment, and she really didn’t want anyone to know about it afraid of the way others might think of her…but she said…as she shared her problems, she felt she was not embarrassed about her past anymore…in fact…she was able to face it as it is….and that was when I had a moment of “eureka”….to face my big giant…the fear of being seen by others as inadequate….i would make myself more vulnerable…I decided to post a blog concerning this….to announce to the public that I indeed have made this mistake (the mistake that I don’t want people to know), I am willing to admit it…and change from it….and then, Kathy was onlining at the right time…she gave me a boost and supported me in this…..in fact Kathy was there, when my cell leader, Shirley was teaching me…..and she told me that she learnt something from what Shirley had shared with me too…and I was really shock and blessed at the same time because I didn’t know that the mistake I thought was my biggest embarrassment actually taught someone something…and I was really amazed with what God can do with little insignificant stuffs like these…

 

once I decided to write this blog, I felt so relieved and free because I knew I was not held or controlled by my fear anymore…in fact I am taking control and conquering over my fear…and vulnerability indeed is the best way to know that you are broken and You truly need God to come and make your life right….as I started writing this blog, I began feeling how silly I was for dwelling in this petty little matter…it was really nothing big…but I thank God I took time to think about it, because if it was not for that mistake, I would never learn to deal with my fear of not being accepted, emotions controlling, and to do the right thing at the right moment…I believe it is a breakthrough for me….not only in one matter…but several matters…that through this mistakes, truly I have learnt a lot…..just as keith preached in his previous sermon…he said that honest mistakes is ok…but we have to learn from it and not repeat it…and we are to celebrate our mistakes because mistakes truly determines our quality and helps us grow from time to time…and I really felt blessed because finally I understood all these in a deeper manner…

 

I just felt really grateful to a lot of people during this moment, Kathy, Jan, my cousin, my roommate, and especially Shirley….because I know now that I have a great family….who will accept me inside out, good or bad as I am…family who will constantly remind me and correct me of my mistakes….family who do not condemn me or make mistakes a big deal and assume it is a disgrace and shame for them…a family who will uphold me from time to time….

 

and truly as keith said…mistakes are mistakes….mistakes are the things you do….not who you are…and we should indeed celebrate mistakes…because you never know how it can bless others and what you can really learn from it…and today….this blog is posted…..not only to edify others…but for myself to grow and learn to overcome my weaknesses…because when I am not afraid to be vulnerable, I am more courageous in overcoming my biggest fear….i  believe a great breakthrough is indeed coming….and truly truly…i am not perfect, i cannot be perfect as much as i strive to be...i am truly broken….and i need God…i really do =) ….i hope this sharing right here…can really bless someone in their daily walk with God and also in whatever they are doing….

 

Indeed, do not sleep with your mistakes….

A Wonderful Day...

 

Yesterday i had a wonderful time with my mom, shopping, buying things, and chatting about many many things..and my mom also blessed me with two skirts, one bag, and one pair of slippers...Hallelujah!!!

Though, these two days, things were quite challenging for me, and my faith was stretched from time to time, i am really really grateful because i have been blessed in one way or another...things can be different if you choose to look at them from different perspectives...

and i had really alot of fun spending the little time i can find with my mom...my mom is amazing..because she is the only one who will allow me to feel like a child...or rather allow me to be a child :P haha...and yesterday was really a wonderful day because i expected spending a meaningful, fruitful time with my mom...in fact, i think everyday should be expected and proclaimed that way....every bad day on the other hand, should be filled with good thoughts so that the negativity wouldn't be too overwhelming until it chokes our bright side....for a wonderful day is not determined by our current affairs. A wonderful day is lived by choice...

therefore yesterdays and today...could all be wonderful =) in fact, it should be...

p/s: i miss you mommy. thank you :) 

 

 

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