hectic semester...tight schedule....limited resources....restricted jobseeking...therefore, sum the conclusion of the lagging in blog post. =P
nonetheless, this is one of the semesters where i grew the most and more in love with the One above...so this is my recent updates. I personally feel a need to blog this down as a significant event of my life in this season. well the writing style is going to be a little different as I intended to only pour the story before I forget any details...and off to rest my heavy head =P....here it goes
Last week all cell groups are to preach on "Finishing Well"....as I was preparing the sermon, flashbacks upon flashbacks ran through my mind. I was not only brought to the remembrance of how Shirley, my dearest leader picked me up from brokenness....but also to the times when she was teaching us about how being a leader it is not easy as it takes one's willingness to open up a really smelly, rotten, worm-filled can...emptying it with your bare hands and cleaning it up. One question she asked: will you clean up the mess in the lives of the people you lead if you find them all smelly and stinky? do you reject them? or do you take them in and clean them up?
As I was preaching the point on accountability to leaders, apart from the arise and build pledge, I just felt there is a need to address to my cell group members....that I am called as a leader at this point of time, not as a judge, or to be more superior than them....but called to serve, love, shepherd and guide them the best way I know how. As I was preaching this point of the sermon, I reassured my members again and again, that as ugly or unworthy they feel they might be, I am willing to be the person who does the cleaning, listen to them and help them through. Good or bad, I will still love them. And that in the long race to run, if anyone gets tired, let the whole cell group be their strength, if someone cannot have faith, we will be their faith, if someone cannot run, we hold them hand in hand and run together until we all cross the finishing line....assuring them in good and bad times, season of strength or weaknesses or defeat, leaders are equally interested in all seasons and all times of their lives....the response for both cells were indeed touching to me.
moving on after cell meeting last friday, I met up with a few of my disciples to discuss on some personal issues. One significant feeling I felt throughout the talk was that as I was with them, there was an extraordinary, divine energy and power to just love and nurture, seeing the brokenness and hurts carry deep within for so many years. God was indeed refreshing and amazing. I just knew there and then that the heart and strength to love is not from me as it was at a different level of capacity and faith. Again, with the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I decided to reassure them that I am not just a leader who wants solutions and lives to be set straight, all in all I still care and love them for who they are. And I want the best for their lives. In my spirit, I just felt that these were the words they needed to hear
Eversince, I just felt there is a breakthrough in the atmosphere of the whole discipleship system....after the short discussion we had, the disciples involved began opening up bit by bit of their lives, smses and emails of reports after reports came in over the weekend concerning struggles and needs for breakthroughs from different different cell members - those I have never expected from (usually only my interns and uprising leaders send me reports), my interns are also receiving reports after reports from their disciples wanting to be guided, msn was a great tool for more issues to be tapped in, twitter became a good tool too for prayer requests and keeping touch with me....there was just so much trust and openness these five day (either to me or to one another in the cell). The dynamic took a change. Truly, indeed...just as Shirley had told us over and over again....love conquers all. love covers a multitude of sin...love sets people free, gives people the courage, and even break walls! Love is powerful! = people do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care=
I really want to believe with all my heart that we are moving toward the vision and the direction of running the race strong together as a cell, into the realm of faith and unity, supporting one another. my dearest members, if you are reading this, I want you to know how much I am touched by the eagerness to be discipled and accountable, and I am truly honored. Let this be a commitment to fight the good fight until we all reach the finishing line! =))
thank you for your trust. I love you. and I always always pray that this is the one thing that our cell group will never be lacking of...not today, not tomorrow, or in the near and far future...let this be the season we decide to fight together and keep fighting on no matter what happens. Unity stems from trust, trust and love intertwined, are weapons we can use against our enemy. Stay strong together, ok? Don't drop out halfway through the race...!
WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! walk not, run this race together. you are not alone =))
I truly thank God that despite such a crazy season with so much hecticness, problems, persecutions and difficulties I faced, I did not lose my joy....He is truly my only strength and source of hope....and I thank God for strengthening and encouraging me through looking at the lives and growth of the people I am close to....one way or another, He always find ways to bless my heart....hee...just love Him so so much...! (*snuggle*)
He is indeed amazing, aye? =))
Hopefully this is an encouragement to someone ...let's strive to be the multi-type, all season, all-type can openers!
Bless you!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
pa, ma!
Daddy, Mummy, I LOVE YOU!!
Can't wait to come home and spend time with you, smell the home-ly aroma, eat the
home-cooked food, drag my feet around, show you all my new clothes, sit down and "keng
kai", drink wine together gether during reunion dinner...and help you do spring cleaning!
(ok, I promise I will try not to be lazy *teehee*)....
miss you all like crazy.
See you Saturday Afternoon! Yay!
Love,
Szee!
Can't wait to come home and spend time with you, smell the home-ly aroma, eat the
home-cooked food, drag my feet around, show you all my new clothes, sit down and "keng
kai", drink wine together gether during reunion dinner...and help you do spring cleaning!
(ok, I promise I will try not to be lazy *teehee*)....
miss you all like crazy.
See you Saturday Afternoon! Yay!
Love,
Szee!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Conviction...and Honor (Outreach)
It's an amazing weekend. I was singing on stage this weekend, and both services, Pastor Kevin indeed spoke THE WORD of the season into my life. I am totally blown away. The countless times that Pastor would always somehow answer certain queries I have within me through the sermon preached is truly a blessing. This weekend was no different from those times. Today, I indeed had a very very valuable revelation.
For those who have been reading my blog, you would have known that I have started a campus outreach in college out of a revelation from God. And there was a time when God told me to keep on going, and keep on keeping on having faith, stepping out into the unknown and just trusting God. The start of the outreach was indeed an amazing journey. With Shirley supporting, and everyone being so on fire coming for meetings and pray...
But as time passes, the outreach grew smaller, and less on fire. People began to drop out. Seeing this happening was truly a discouragement to me. I prayed and pleaded with God asking what I need to do....I was really totally clueless. To an extend, i dreaded going to the outreach because I do not feel the possibility of it taking flight, or even seeing a future in what we are doing. Everything just felt so lost. This is my confession. That week in week out, when I was in the outreach, I just didn't know how should I go on because I honestly did not lead with conviction...I was just doing it out of duty, because I knew this is a vision I received from God and I need to keep it going for His sake...
Nonetheless, today's message totally transformed my life. Something just hit me and my bubble broke. How would I bring conviction and passion to my group of outreach members when I myself who was supposingly the person who had the vision, is not having the conviction that things could happen, situation could change, and we could do something great? On the way home, I prayed, and I really engaged in a deep talk with God in this. One word that I heard from Him that time was this: Start all over! Go back to the first day I receive the vision, go back to the time when we were all on fire....go back there and retrieve the conviction! That...was the one thing that would not only change my outreach members lives, but the lives of those who come in contact with us. Conviction. As we communicate from spirit to spirit, carrying the positive spirit is the key for the breakthrough of anything at all.
I spoke to Shirley last night, about all these struggles and about the conviction that I need to carry. As usual, her ONE WORD is always able to direct you to do what is needed to be done. Shirley told me that it is always easy to run the vision of others, because everything has already been set....what needed to be done to get to the vision, what needed to be instilled...etc....but to run your own vision, it is always something tough...and probably along the way people might even hate you for your own convictions or your own revelations. But these words when she said to me, really touched my heart: Hazel, if this is a revelation and vision given to you by God, no matter what it takes you will run it....because it is your own conviction...not your members' conviction. It is a word God gave to you....so you cannot allow anything to dampen your spirit. Carry your conviction....and JUST DO IT! Rather than living in fear or in disappointments or in uncertainties of how things might work, when we do it....(even if we make mistakes)....at least we will not think of the "what if's" in life.....
To have faithfulness and honor in the vision given to us....it is not an easy motivation, but I know at the end of the day, it is all worthwhile. Last week, in outreach there were only two of us coming together and praying...I know I have mentioned in the previous blog that I will not allow anything to dampen my spirit in the process of making this outreach a success...but as human, I do get demotivated with what seems to be stagnated. I need support, I need encouragement, and people telling me..."Yes, Hazel! All these can be done! Let's do it! Let's go all out to touch the lives of people and make a difference."
But the fact is, I should be the one who is saying that to God.....and today I hope this will be a long-lasting prayer I will hold on to...that even when nobody turn up for outreach, or when nothing seem workable, or nothing is progressing, I will still turn up for outreach, even when I am alone...and I will keep praying behind that classroom....I will plough the ground, break it and wait.....if this is God's vision...something must, and will happen....I want to start living out this conviction, and I want to be the one that honor the vision that has been imprinted into my life. I will honor His vision.....I want to....and you guys as my witnesses.
This life is His. This life is on the altar.....my life is indeed His song.....He writes, He sings...I will journey =)
Outreach members, let's carry a good convicted, and honorable spirit, finish the race, and support one another as small a group as we are! We are all in this together :)
Be blessed.
For those who have been reading my blog, you would have known that I have started a campus outreach in college out of a revelation from God. And there was a time when God told me to keep on going, and keep on keeping on having faith, stepping out into the unknown and just trusting God. The start of the outreach was indeed an amazing journey. With Shirley supporting, and everyone being so on fire coming for meetings and pray...
But as time passes, the outreach grew smaller, and less on fire. People began to drop out. Seeing this happening was truly a discouragement to me. I prayed and pleaded with God asking what I need to do....I was really totally clueless. To an extend, i dreaded going to the outreach because I do not feel the possibility of it taking flight, or even seeing a future in what we are doing. Everything just felt so lost. This is my confession. That week in week out, when I was in the outreach, I just didn't know how should I go on because I honestly did not lead with conviction...I was just doing it out of duty, because I knew this is a vision I received from God and I need to keep it going for His sake...
Nonetheless, today's message totally transformed my life. Something just hit me and my bubble broke. How would I bring conviction and passion to my group of outreach members when I myself who was supposingly the person who had the vision, is not having the conviction that things could happen, situation could change, and we could do something great? On the way home, I prayed, and I really engaged in a deep talk with God in this. One word that I heard from Him that time was this: Start all over! Go back to the first day I receive the vision, go back to the time when we were all on fire....go back there and retrieve the conviction! That...was the one thing that would not only change my outreach members lives, but the lives of those who come in contact with us. Conviction. As we communicate from spirit to spirit, carrying the positive spirit is the key for the breakthrough of anything at all.
I spoke to Shirley last night, about all these struggles and about the conviction that I need to carry. As usual, her ONE WORD is always able to direct you to do what is needed to be done. Shirley told me that it is always easy to run the vision of others, because everything has already been set....what needed to be done to get to the vision, what needed to be instilled...etc....but to run your own vision, it is always something tough...and probably along the way people might even hate you for your own convictions or your own revelations. But these words when she said to me, really touched my heart: Hazel, if this is a revelation and vision given to you by God, no matter what it takes you will run it....because it is your own conviction...not your members' conviction. It is a word God gave to you....so you cannot allow anything to dampen your spirit. Carry your conviction....and JUST DO IT! Rather than living in fear or in disappointments or in uncertainties of how things might work, when we do it....(even if we make mistakes)....at least we will not think of the "what if's" in life.....
To have faithfulness and honor in the vision given to us....it is not an easy motivation, but I know at the end of the day, it is all worthwhile. Last week, in outreach there were only two of us coming together and praying...I know I have mentioned in the previous blog that I will not allow anything to dampen my spirit in the process of making this outreach a success...but as human, I do get demotivated with what seems to be stagnated. I need support, I need encouragement, and people telling me..."Yes, Hazel! All these can be done! Let's do it! Let's go all out to touch the lives of people and make a difference."
But the fact is, I should be the one who is saying that to God.....and today I hope this will be a long-lasting prayer I will hold on to...that even when nobody turn up for outreach, or when nothing seem workable, or nothing is progressing, I will still turn up for outreach, even when I am alone...and I will keep praying behind that classroom....I will plough the ground, break it and wait.....if this is God's vision...something must, and will happen....I want to start living out this conviction, and I want to be the one that honor the vision that has been imprinted into my life. I will honor His vision.....I want to....and you guys as my witnesses.
This life is His. This life is on the altar.....my life is indeed His song.....He writes, He sings...I will journey =)
Outreach members, let's carry a good convicted, and honorable spirit, finish the race, and support one another as small a group as we are! We are all in this together :)
This could be our Bario Revival! =))
Be blessed.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Why are you placed in my life?
It is really late right now, but I have just had an amazing time chatting with Crystal with Clement as the silent listener. I am amazed at how God had truly turned a person from how she was when I found her...now, a totally transformed person. I have asked God for this week to reveal to me the revelations I can get to preach in cell group this week. I believe I have found it. I think starting the year off with such amazing realization, I am totally blown away.
She was talking to me about certain ongoings that were happening recently. And how she had her vision for outreach and all. And I am really blown away at how God would constantly use her as the confirmation to the work that He is doing in my life. A lot of times, I have ideas on how the outreach should go about in college, or in cell group...asking God...God is this Your will? If it is not, let me know. And God amazingly always use this girl...Crystal...as a confirmation to a lot of the visions I have. Sometimes even rebukes from God that she is confirming. I believe that is the reason why she is here in my life. At times, when I felt she might be struggling with certain things...she would naturally confirm it herself and do the right thing. I am really proud of her. Somehow there is always a connection triangle between me, her and God...
And speaking of this, I remember Charis, my beloved intern. How she will always back me up in the many things I need to attend to....I am really proud of her. She has been rising up from glory to glory. A lot of time when somebody ask me, how do you build a strong cell group? The key is always strong discipleship. Not one way, but two. Charis is willingly wanting to be discipled all the time...and she will update me, learn new things, follow up, help me and back me up, and knock on my door like crazy even when I am busy. The backbone of the cell is in a lot of these follow ups and support. Cell leaders are not robots or machines, a lot of times they need support too. Be a support today :) Sometimes it is a choice to create a good reason why you are placed in a particular person's life.. =) Supporting and loving is the best gift. That is her place in my life.
Ben, another beloved intern. As reserved and quiet as he is, he is the one who always will find the time to ask me if I need anything, notice that I am tired, coughing, sick....and really meet my needs. Apart from all these, he always surprises me with the many appreciations he did for me. This is the another part of support, of word assurance, of comfort, of making you feel appreciated when you least expected...The surprise during Christmas party despite all the tension, was really a blessing to my heart...Ben is the one that always read the intentions of my heart and will say yes to any vision I want to put the cell group through. As crazy as it may seem sometimes. Although he may doubt, but he will get it done. He will run the vision. He will take up new challenge...And that is already the greatest gift I can ever wish for. And that is his place...
I remember Felicia telling me about a person who will somehow always appear and be a joy and a comfort to her whenever she is in frustration or in deep stress. Well, to me, that person is always my mom. The silent supporter. Sometimes when I am upset I just want to talk to her. She might not have all the answers of the world, but it is relieving to have her around. Feeling safe...Another person would be Anna. Anna has been around countless times when I am not feeling good. Sometimes just watching TV together in frustration, or a prayer, or a maggi cooking...or a big time complaining then moving on...haha...that was to me the greatest comfort. I find joy whenever I look at her. I remember I am tensed up sometimes. Then suddenly out of noweher she would appear...and I would scream and just pour out how nervous I am...and she would just encourage me...speaking of this, Shi Yun is also another person whom I constantly feel happy to be around with whenever I am with her. The same resons as with Anna. Probably because both of them were my housemates. haha.. I am blessed to have them around. It is really amazing....my mom, Shi Yun and Anna, have the same reason to not only be the silent joy, but also to nurture me...ahakz =P...ok but I believe I was there to nurture Shi Yun instead (she will kill me if she reads this =P)
And speaking of dreams and visions....Shirley would be another person who always confirms my dreams and visions...She will say...go for it...I will back you up! Do what you want...I will support you!....and a lot of times...the thing that she plan for the year, or in the cell group she preached (which I also attended at times) I always find a connection to it. I don't know just how God works...but it always works that way as a confirmation for me. Whenever God told me about the long lost dream...and I asked Him...God how can I start working on it again? And then poof...Here comes Shirley telling me what she wants me to do for that period of time....and that is exactly where I feel God want me to be...It is unexplainably amazing...But I guess I agree with Crystal, that godly people are the ones that bring us to our destiny. And I am always blown away at how God always uses my leaders to confirm His word and help me grow. I think this is the triangle thing again between me, my leader and God. When He tells me, perhaps He tells her too? =)
Shirley has been the every good reason that has brought me and my life to where I am today...She's simply amazing...and definitely a destiny definer.
Shirley fulfilled my dream, by supporting my outreach when nobody accepts us. Then I remember I was watching Asia Conference on live telecast when I couldn't be there. I saw how the Community Services were doing there...and when Shirley came back I told her...whenever you do counseling, bring me...I believe this is the revived dream God gave me...and suddenly, the church is establishing City Care. And a lot of other things...that always seem like a coincidence to me...even emerge was a dream come true to me....I never imagined myself getting raised in my dominance personality through that way...
One word to describe everything. Mystical. And realizing this, that at times a person can be placed in your life for a reason to cause you headache, havoc, and pain, so that you can be stronger. But I do not want to be that person. I realize now, that knowing this fact, I can choose to be a good reason why I am placed in a person's life.
And this year's biggest new year's revolution I want to have is whatever reason I am placed in a person's life, I want to be the GOOD REASON to exist in the lives of those around me. To make a difference in a person's life...One at a time.
to my leaders, my members, my disciples, my friends, my family, my parents, my college, my lecturers, my housemates...etc...
Bit by bit, people around me begin to reveal to me the purpose of the reason to my existence. And each day I find the excitement in unravelling them little by little. And as much as God has use others to define my destiny and visions and dreams....I pray that God would use me to bless others that way too. It is truly a wonderful blessing...and it would be an honor for me if I am able to be that person all the days of my life.
What about you? Why are you placed in another person's life? You can choose... =)
She was talking to me about certain ongoings that were happening recently. And how she had her vision for outreach and all. And I am really blown away at how God would constantly use her as the confirmation to the work that He is doing in my life. A lot of times, I have ideas on how the outreach should go about in college, or in cell group...asking God...God is this Your will? If it is not, let me know. And God amazingly always use this girl...Crystal...as a confirmation to a lot of the visions I have. Sometimes even rebukes from God that she is confirming. I believe that is the reason why she is here in my life. At times, when I felt she might be struggling with certain things...she would naturally confirm it herself and do the right thing. I am really proud of her. Somehow there is always a connection triangle between me, her and God...
And speaking of this, I remember Charis, my beloved intern. How she will always back me up in the many things I need to attend to....I am really proud of her. She has been rising up from glory to glory. A lot of time when somebody ask me, how do you build a strong cell group? The key is always strong discipleship. Not one way, but two. Charis is willingly wanting to be discipled all the time...and she will update me, learn new things, follow up, help me and back me up, and knock on my door like crazy even when I am busy. The backbone of the cell is in a lot of these follow ups and support. Cell leaders are not robots or machines, a lot of times they need support too. Be a support today :) Sometimes it is a choice to create a good reason why you are placed in a particular person's life.. =) Supporting and loving is the best gift. That is her place in my life.
Ben, another beloved intern. As reserved and quiet as he is, he is the one who always will find the time to ask me if I need anything, notice that I am tired, coughing, sick....and really meet my needs. Apart from all these, he always surprises me with the many appreciations he did for me. This is the another part of support, of word assurance, of comfort, of making you feel appreciated when you least expected...The surprise during Christmas party despite all the tension, was really a blessing to my heart...Ben is the one that always read the intentions of my heart and will say yes to any vision I want to put the cell group through. As crazy as it may seem sometimes. Although he may doubt, but he will get it done. He will run the vision. He will take up new challenge...And that is already the greatest gift I can ever wish for. And that is his place...
I remember Felicia telling me about a person who will somehow always appear and be a joy and a comfort to her whenever she is in frustration or in deep stress. Well, to me, that person is always my mom. The silent supporter. Sometimes when I am upset I just want to talk to her. She might not have all the answers of the world, but it is relieving to have her around. Feeling safe...Another person would be Anna. Anna has been around countless times when I am not feeling good. Sometimes just watching TV together in frustration, or a prayer, or a maggi cooking...or a big time complaining then moving on...haha...that was to me the greatest comfort. I find joy whenever I look at her. I remember I am tensed up sometimes. Then suddenly out of noweher she would appear...and I would scream and just pour out how nervous I am...and she would just encourage me...speaking of this, Shi Yun is also another person whom I constantly feel happy to be around with whenever I am with her. The same resons as with Anna. Probably because both of them were my housemates. haha.. I am blessed to have them around. It is really amazing....my mom, Shi Yun and Anna, have the same reason to not only be the silent joy, but also to nurture me...ahakz =P...ok but I believe I was there to nurture Shi Yun instead (she will kill me if she reads this =P)
And speaking of dreams and visions....Shirley would be another person who always confirms my dreams and visions...She will say...go for it...I will back you up! Do what you want...I will support you!....and a lot of times...the thing that she plan for the year, or in the cell group she preached (which I also attended at times) I always find a connection to it. I don't know just how God works...but it always works that way as a confirmation for me. Whenever God told me about the long lost dream...and I asked Him...God how can I start working on it again? And then poof...Here comes Shirley telling me what she wants me to do for that period of time....and that is exactly where I feel God want me to be...It is unexplainably amazing...But I guess I agree with Crystal, that godly people are the ones that bring us to our destiny. And I am always blown away at how God always uses my leaders to confirm His word and help me grow. I think this is the triangle thing again between me, my leader and God. When He tells me, perhaps He tells her too? =)
Shirley has been the every good reason that has brought me and my life to where I am today...She's simply amazing...and definitely a destiny definer.
Shirley fulfilled my dream, by supporting my outreach when nobody accepts us. Then I remember I was watching Asia Conference on live telecast when I couldn't be there. I saw how the Community Services were doing there...and when Shirley came back I told her...whenever you do counseling, bring me...I believe this is the revived dream God gave me...and suddenly, the church is establishing City Care. And a lot of other things...that always seem like a coincidence to me...even emerge was a dream come true to me....I never imagined myself getting raised in my dominance personality through that way...
One word to describe everything. Mystical. And realizing this, that at times a person can be placed in your life for a reason to cause you headache, havoc, and pain, so that you can be stronger. But I do not want to be that person. I realize now, that knowing this fact, I can choose to be a good reason why I am placed in a person's life.
And this year's biggest new year's revolution I want to have is whatever reason I am placed in a person's life, I want to be the GOOD REASON to exist in the lives of those around me. To make a difference in a person's life...One at a time.
to my leaders, my members, my disciples, my friends, my family, my parents, my college, my lecturers, my housemates...etc...
Bit by bit, people around me begin to reveal to me the purpose of the reason to my existence. And each day I find the excitement in unravelling them little by little. And as much as God has use others to define my destiny and visions and dreams....I pray that God would use me to bless others that way too. It is truly a wonderful blessing...and it would be an honor for me if I am able to be that person all the days of my life.
What about you? Why are you placed in another person's life? You can choose... =)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2008 Final Tribute
2008 has been an amazing year. I have experienced many breakthroughs, many wonderful experiences, knew a lot of great people, and had tremendous numbers of amazing encounters. This blog and slide show is a tribute to all of you as an appreciation for making 2008 a wonderful experience for me. Thank you for adding colors and being the missing pieces that complete the puzzle in my life...I believe 2009 will be even more amazing, and I hope I had been a blessing and will continue being a blessing to all of you as how you all have been a blessing to me time after time :) Let's anticipate greater breakthroughs in 2009....
Happy New Year!! God bless always.
Welcome, 2009!! =))
Happy New Year!! God bless always.
Welcome, 2009!! =))
Monday, December 22, 2008
Stay Still = Being a vessel
Certain unpleasant things in life happen repetitively again and again when you step foot into that particular place.
Sometimes it seem unbearable...sometimes it drain the best of you, and you keep wondering, when will those events take a toll and stop happening? Sometimes you wish you have the guts to walk away and call it quit...stop caring. Sometimes you wish you can just not step foot there again, but you know that would be something wrong to do..
Tonight as I was meditating on the Word of God, 10.02pm...God said this to me:
You want your life to be a vessel for Me
You said you would lay your life on the altar for me
Well, sometimes I do not need you to do anything fancy...but by merely putting through with the the toils and brokenness, the storm in your life...
If you are willing to bear, if you are willing to persevere...if you do not give up...you will be My vessel, you have truly put your life on the altar for Me to work with.
Don't meditate on the fact that things drains you, even if it repetitively does.
Don't doubt a single minute that things will not change....
If you stay there long enough, if you keep allowing Me to use you as a vessel to go through challenges strong!...the change will come and you will be the reflection of Me in the darkest place.
You do not need to do much, but just merely stay there, be strong...and wait...do what I would be pleased with...and keep doing it even when nobody appreciates it. You are My vessel...and you have to know your place and your appointed time. Don't miss My plan.
Honestly it didn't occur to me that staying still in negative situations would mean being a vessel for God sometimes apart from all the mission works and ministry - it didn't occur to me that clearly, until now. I hope it encourages anyone of you who are going through certain circumstances and you feel like you really want to escape but you know you shouldn't?...yes sometimes God used you as a vessel by just you choosing to stay through in those places. And do what He wants you to do, react how He wants you to react...
Stay strong! =)) If God is using you as a vessel to stay in rough circumstances, He will not leave you and stroll away before He comes back again. He is there providing you the strength to stay.
Be blessed! =)
Sometimes it seem unbearable...sometimes it drain the best of you, and you keep wondering, when will those events take a toll and stop happening? Sometimes you wish you have the guts to walk away and call it quit...stop caring. Sometimes you wish you can just not step foot there again, but you know that would be something wrong to do..
Tonight as I was meditating on the Word of God, 10.02pm...God said this to me:
You want your life to be a vessel for Me
You said you would lay your life on the altar for me
Well, sometimes I do not need you to do anything fancy...but by merely putting through with the the toils and brokenness, the storm in your life...
If you are willing to bear, if you are willing to persevere...if you do not give up...you will be My vessel, you have truly put your life on the altar for Me to work with.
Don't meditate on the fact that things drains you, even if it repetitively does.
Don't doubt a single minute that things will not change....
If you stay there long enough, if you keep allowing Me to use you as a vessel to go through challenges strong!...the change will come and you will be the reflection of Me in the darkest place.
You do not need to do much, but just merely stay there, be strong...and wait...do what I would be pleased with...and keep doing it even when nobody appreciates it. You are My vessel...and you have to know your place and your appointed time. Don't miss My plan.
Honestly it didn't occur to me that staying still in negative situations would mean being a vessel for God sometimes apart from all the mission works and ministry - it didn't occur to me that clearly, until now. I hope it encourages anyone of you who are going through certain circumstances and you feel like you really want to escape but you know you shouldn't?...yes sometimes God used you as a vessel by just you choosing to stay through in those places. And do what He wants you to do, react how He wants you to react...
Stay strong! =)) If God is using you as a vessel to stay in rough circumstances, He will not leave you and stroll away before He comes back again. He is there providing you the strength to stay.
Be blessed! =)
Friday, December 12, 2008
A chat with God
In the midst of studying for finals, Hazel decided that she would have a little chat with her beloved God...
Hazel: Daddy..
God: Yes, dear?
Hazel: Got something to ask You (anticipation shown all over the face)...very important one!
God: Haha...what is it? (smirking - a sign of Him knowing what I was about to ask)
Hazel: I want to ask right, how to know what are the things I can do and is correct one and what are the things that are not?
God: What....I know what you are worrying about right now la...
Hazel: Hee...You know good la...then then then...what are the things that I can be sure is correct and is OK for me to do and the things that are not jek? (cling on to God's arm like little girl)
God: The things that you cannot do and is not OK are the things that I have labeled as sin in the bible and labeled as against the law by the government...
Hazel: Some more?
God: And the things that I have revealed to you that is not OK wan loh...like certain things you feel you feel it is good or nice to have then suddenly I show you that it is not really such a good thing or option...neh...those times ah when I show you...remember or not?
Hazel: Remember.....(silent a few seconds)....then for things that You didn't reveal anything one leh? Means can do ah? Or should do?
God: =_='''' I didn't reveal hor....means it is ok to do lah...but that doesn't mean it is a MUST or a SHOULD la...you figure out and choose la you want to do or not. You do it also can, don't do it also won't do you harm.
Hazel: Then then, I have been having this issue la...I don't know what is the right thing to do wor...then You some more didn't reveal. Then now I ask You la, what should I do? If i make a choice to take path A also got certain struggles, if take path B also like not correct, also struggle...what to do oh?
God: You decide lor....
Hazel: Maybe I should fast and pray about it. But I did that before!
God: Yealor...I know...I didn't give you any answer ma...means you decide loh...haijoh! Take path A also can take path B also can...I cannot tell you what to do la. Then I violate your freewill already you know or not.
Hazel: Yealah...but You see ah, like my biological parents right, sometimes even they ask me to make decision right, they still got preferences wan...so what is Your preference jek? I want to do everything in Your perfect will ma...
God: Nah girl,...see ah...Number 1, I am not your biological parents, I got no preference...Number 2, if I got no preference and ask you to choose, means whatever decision you make will not be a wrong decision, but still a decision in My will...Number 3, freewill is freewill...you have to learn to decide for yourself...Life is about making choices. If I make all the choices for you, then you become My robot already...
Hazel: ....
God: And Number 4, got exam tomorrow...GO STUDY NOW!
Hazel: hehehe...ok...after I blog.
Hrm....ever come across situations where you hope that God will just tell you what to decide on and do so you do not need to think so much what is the right thing to do? I have been there countless times...
Anyway, just posting this out of randomness...and to quote that at times there are situations whereby there is no such thing as the ONLY RIGHT OPTION...sometimes either option you choose, it will also be blessed by God. But the journey would be very different. So then it bogs down to one thing again...where your heart and passion lies, what you desire to journey...I guess that sometimes is a guidance to decisions like these...
BUT BEWARE. This blog is strictly not about partial obedience. About people ASSUMING God didn't give them any clear answers and go with whatever they "feel" is right or what they "feel" God tells them is right even when it is CLEARLY not. =)))
Just a random thought for you to ponder. Be blessed! Hit the books now. Toooddlleesss~~
Hazel: Daddy..
God: Yes, dear?
Hazel: Got something to ask You (anticipation shown all over the face)...very important one!
God: Haha...what is it? (smirking - a sign of Him knowing what I was about to ask)
Hazel: I want to ask right, how to know what are the things I can do and is correct one and what are the things that are not?
God: What....I know what you are worrying about right now la...
Hazel: Hee...You know good la...then then then...what are the things that I can be sure is correct and is OK for me to do and the things that are not jek? (cling on to God's arm like little girl)
God: The things that you cannot do and is not OK are the things that I have labeled as sin in the bible and labeled as against the law by the government...
Hazel: Some more?
God: And the things that I have revealed to you that is not OK wan loh...like certain things you feel you feel it is good or nice to have then suddenly I show you that it is not really such a good thing or option...neh...those times ah when I show you...remember or not?
Hazel: Remember.....(silent a few seconds)....then for things that You didn't reveal anything one leh? Means can do ah? Or should do?
God: =_='''' I didn't reveal hor....means it is ok to do lah...but that doesn't mean it is a MUST or a SHOULD la...you figure out and choose la you want to do or not. You do it also can, don't do it also won't do you harm.
Hazel: Then then, I have been having this issue la...I don't know what is the right thing to do wor...then You some more didn't reveal. Then now I ask You la, what should I do? If i make a choice to take path A also got certain struggles, if take path B also like not correct, also struggle...what to do oh?
God: You decide lor....
Hazel: Maybe I should fast and pray about it. But I did that before!
God: Yealor...I know...I didn't give you any answer ma...means you decide loh...haijoh! Take path A also can take path B also can...I cannot tell you what to do la. Then I violate your freewill already you know or not.
Hazel: Yealah...but You see ah, like my biological parents right, sometimes even they ask me to make decision right, they still got preferences wan...so what is Your preference jek? I want to do everything in Your perfect will ma...
God: Nah girl,...see ah...Number 1, I am not your biological parents, I got no preference...Number 2, if I got no preference and ask you to choose, means whatever decision you make will not be a wrong decision, but still a decision in My will...Number 3, freewill is freewill...you have to learn to decide for yourself...Life is about making choices. If I make all the choices for you, then you become My robot already...
Hazel: ....
God: And Number 4, got exam tomorrow...GO STUDY NOW!
Hazel: hehehe...ok...after I blog.
Hrm....ever come across situations where you hope that God will just tell you what to decide on and do so you do not need to think so much what is the right thing to do? I have been there countless times...
Anyway, just posting this out of randomness...and to quote that at times there are situations whereby there is no such thing as the ONLY RIGHT OPTION...sometimes either option you choose, it will also be blessed by God. But the journey would be very different. So then it bogs down to one thing again...where your heart and passion lies, what you desire to journey...I guess that sometimes is a guidance to decisions like these...
BUT BEWARE. This blog is strictly not about partial obedience. About people ASSUMING God didn't give them any clear answers and go with whatever they "feel" is right or what they "feel" God tells them is right even when it is CLEARLY not. =)))
Just a random thought for you to ponder. Be blessed! Hit the books now. Toooddlleesss~~
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