Sunday, November 23, 2008

Baby Keira is OUT!

For those faithful blogger readers, just for your information...Baby Keira is out this morning...

Wow...salute Keith. Last night while he was preaching he told us how he wanted to stay back in Malaysia just to support Juli and to wait for his baby girl...because her baby only comes out ONCE in a lifetime....He wants to be there to welcome her....wow.....(hmm...guys a.k.a male homo sapiens should take notes :P)

And now she is out! Congrats Keith and Juli!...Surely a blessed stay and such amazing parents you will be :)

Heard that she is really cute. :)) Can't wait to see. 

Asia Conference Week....A chosen Joy

It has been an amazing week! While everyone was in Asia Conference, I was back in KL. Being released from my responsibilities of being a choir leader or a cell group leader, I was allowed a lot more extra time to finish up my left over assignments, as well as to really spend really really quality time with God. When I knew I wasn't able to attend Asia Conference, my heart sank knowing the fact that I would not be able to experience God in a powerful way with others, that I am not able to hear great sermons from the top 5 world class speakers. But there was one thing that I told God and I prayed about eversince I knew I could not attend Asia Conference. That I would not be left behind, that I would still capture and grow to the next level of spirituality...growing hand in hand with the rest even with the limitations I have.

God was indeed amazing. Initially I have asked my beloved intern and disciple, Ben and Sophia to record each and every sermon and send to me every night. Unfortunately the files were too big, and to send via email would take a very long time. Therefore, we decided that it is best if they just directly pass the sermons to me when they come back to KL. Nonetheless, I would say, I have still spent one of the best weeks alone at home...praying loudly and hearing from God.

This week, I was reminded of my visions, dreams, my journey with God, and even had time to tap into a few pastoral cases. God indeed had made my stay in KL a fruitful one. I have learnt so much, and researched so much on my studies...

Last night's service was amazing. I would say I heard one of the best sermons of 2008. Keith taught about not losing the joy in God. The joy of the Lord is our strength! This is something real that do happen when responsibilities grow...and I personally experienced it. At times when we are so pressed and pressured by the responsibilities in life, we become so lost and depressed. This season, or rather this semester is one of the busiest semesters I have experienced my whole life. I would say....in college, I felt such a peak in pressures that it was even more pressurizing than leading a cluster...LOL

I remembered twice I almost broke down because of too much pressure and expectations from group mates. Imagine having to run three big project whereby the due dates are so close to one another. What more, running the projects with three different groups of people who all at the same time demand your time to meet up. To me, it was really a battle of time, and a battle of fulfilling responsibilities and doing it excellently. There were many times that I felt so tempted to just combine cell group with Shirley so that I needn't have to be so pressured...oh but God really rebuked me for that...repent! :P

This is something real, that at times as a person with a lot of responsibilities, you do get tired, and weary. That is why people burn out, that is why people gave up. But I remembered one thing that Shirley said: that our responsibilities will never decrease, only increase. It is true you see...responsibility do grow with age! And with that we have to learn to cope with it, learn to have joy in it. Like what Keith said. One word that was really true was this : that the moment we start to prove ourselves to people, to show how good we are, we began to live for that person not for God. The moment we start focusing on how good a result we want to produce, our focus becomes the result, not God...then we would lose the joy as we lose our purposes, everything becomes meaningless...Well, indeed there are a lot of things that can cause us to be upset and frustrated in life...but is it really worth it? Exchange your joy for energy wasting frustration, anger, whatever u call it, and feel terrible the rest of the time? Haha...humans!...hmm....

Thus, that two times when I almost broke down, the one thing I did, was I threw everything aside, and I began praying even with the limited time I have to complete the assignments. But those prayers were the one that strengthen me...keep me moving...because I have renewed joy. And a lot of time, when I explain to my members, I told them to depend on God? It doesn't make much sense to them at times as they do not know how it works to relieve us by just depending on God..what are the elements that will cause their frustrations to go away?...by merely blindly depending and waiting?.... Well, actually it is more of A CHOICE to renew your strength with God...and through prayers under pressure...the way God renew strength is through giving the joy...reminding you why you are doing this in the first place, what your right focus should be...and how we should do it...and how you can trust him at all times, like old times...but it is a choice you have to make to rejoice!...as most of us know that our minds can be really clustered and negative especially under tremendous pressure...you have to really want it and choose to positively analyze the situation. Else praying, crying and expecting God to forcefully insert peace in your heart when you persistently do not want to let go of your frustrations, worries, or emotions will get you nowhere for sure....It is a choice!

Finally being able to put them in words...wow! I just feel impacted and liberated...now I know how Shirley can always be so joyful in the midst of all her crazy weeks :D Indeed, joy only will come if we choose to be joyful.


Haha....Ok...a very silly picture... but full of joy, alright!!

Last night Coleen taught me a great deal in singing...more than just singing :D Well, to me it is something significant. I remembered myself practicing so much at home...sit ups, singing everyday loudly for one past five days...(nobody at home you see :P)....and wow....at home I felt like I am able to do it on stage already....But on stage with the mic..suddenly my voice got swallowed up...lol...throat become tight. Voice can't be projected, become shaky and soft...phew*...stage fright? I don't think so....but I know I am very conscious about how I sound on the mic...not used to it...but one thing she taught that was very significant to me...learn to love your voice...and not focus on how it sound...I have been focusing too much on it, too conscious about it....but of course one thing I really need to work on is the projection! I can be better! Exercise Hazel!!! - go jogging! :P

wow...great week! The best is yet to come!...and muahahhaha...I am awaiting the sermons recorded so I won't miss out....oooOOooo live webcast is starting now....catch up later :) Be blessed...choose to be joyful today!


Love always...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Declaration of FAITH...the fulfillment of dreams

1. Campus Outreach will launch the first successful event by February 2009!

2. Cell group will hit 20 people and multiply.

3. Asia Conference that I will be able to receive sermons recorded by Sophia Lian! And sent by Ben to my email!!! --> Those who doesn't want to miss out anything in Asia Conference, let me know. I will send to you IF i receive it!

4. Arise and Build will have abundant part time jobs and creative ideas to raise fund. Those who wants to offer job, I am good at writing!! That the entire building fund will be able to collect a hit of more than 3 million! We can do it!!

5. Discipleship : disciples rise up! Strong in God, loving people!

6. Salvation Family and friends coming together in the new church building worshipping God with all their hearts...

7. Studies : I will do well! And I will score the CGPA I want!

8. Passport : That I will get back my passport ASAP. So that I can go to conferences, missions, emerge in Singapore, other Asia Conference to come...and SOT!!!

And all these shall come to pass....AMEN!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Something to PonderToday as I did my quiet time, the one thing that God taught me, is to declare positivity into the things I want to see happening in my life, and the visions that God has put in my heart. At times, dreams died, at times dreams were delayed....but one thing stay true...the One True God we worship. Today, God has brought me through my journey of life once again...and I really have to say, eversince I came to City Harvest Church, my journey with God had been divine and blessed...I really thank God for a great leader like Shirley who was placed over my life. As busy as she is, she never cease to support me, and help me fulfill the visions of God in my life. The dreams i have...

When campus outreach started and nobody wanted to give us the covering to kickstart, she offered her covering over this campus outreach, urge us to start....and came to support as well as teach us and equip us for evangelism.

When my cell group started off with a rough start, she came in, protected me and guided me step by step....allowing me the chance to get my hands on discipleship, challenging me to do beyond my comfort zone, bringing me along to counseling sessions to help me learn.

When I couldn't attend Asia Conference, as busy as she was with all the administration work, she took time to help me call Singapore, and check out if there were live webcast....

When I was in financial difficulties, she sat down with me took out a pen and paper to help me plan my finances, and brainstorm with me on how I could spend and save.

Sometimes, she rebukes. Sometimes we might merely joke and laugh about things in life. And at times it might seem like we are just having casual talks. But little she know that each time when we talk, whether intentionally or not, one word or two that she speaks will somehow impart certain knowledge, impact me or cause me to realize certain things. That is the anointing of God she carries in her speech and conduct...

When I faced persecution (I will remember this for life), and when everything else seems hopeless, she was there to push me on...calling me every night, telling me to keep moving forward, that she is there for me...and that she will walk through with me...convincing me that I am stronger than all these!

And when I am stress in my studies, she would encourage me, and at times would even help me by having combined cell meetings just to ease my burden. Nonetheless, this was in the past. And I know in order for me to expand, I cannot keep relying on her by combining cell unless really necessary (LOL :P, repent repent)

What more, she even looked out for seminars, and hand me broschures after broschures on conferences that I can go to in order to learn more about the human mind...psychological disorders...for me to expand in my studies in my future careers.

My leader picked me up in broken pieces and helped me to come back to God by constantly loving me and preaching a strong word into my life. Truly, one way or another, wether directly or indirectly, she has been helping me fulfill my dreams, and my visions in Christ. Guiding me to walk in line with the path of God, in the perfect will of God. Indeed I am truly blessed by her.

And with that, I will always run her visions, and her dreams....always...

I thank God for all the blessings He had put in my life. The right people, the right place, at the right time...I pray, someday in the future, I will be a great leader just like her. Touching lives, changing people.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Faith like a child

Moves my heart to see kids worship God like this :D





and
arrrghhh....i love her so so much *pinch pinch pinch*

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Mary and Martha

In life sometimes, we feel that there are too many things to be done, too many responsibilities to fulfill, and too many expectations to meet. That at times, we become so concerned about the results that we can produce, we forget to stop and listen to the silly chatters of people, look at the flowers. Talk to people, catch a breath or two, comfort a friend, hear the band sing, enjoy the morning breeze, enjoy good company.

This season of my life, it just hit me that at times we can be like a machine...doing something for good intentions, but we forget that we need to enjoy and experience the journey. Then we begin wondering why certain relationships drift apart, certain things in life are not as simple as before anymore? It is because at times, we felt we are overwhelmed by the many things in life that it is okay if we should skip certain journeys and certain people just so that we can produce good work and finish everything in time = we thought people would understand, we thought we wouldn't miss that much. "Those are not important" some would say. Nonetheless, it is not the results of what you achieve that is going to bring impact to the world. It is the journey that you have brought them through, the journey that you have experienced with them. The same goes: It is not the results that God is concerned about. It is the journey.

People will not remember you for the things you achieve for long. But people will remember the countless moments you were with them. The good times, the bad times. The cheerful, fun times, the gloomy times.




Relationship is the one thing that makes all journeys worthwhile. A kind word, a listening ear, a happy smile, a firm pat on the back make all the differences. As the effect of the results wither away, it is the memory of the journey that stays imprinted in our mind forever. Choose to experience a good journey today as you strive for great results. The JOURNEY CAN determine the results. It doesn't have to be "either or". We can have both a great journey and a great result.

Be more like Mary instead of Martha. For Mary earns the favor of Jesus. Walk WITH Him, not ahead of Him.


:)) Remember this always.....Hazel

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

In this City, my city...

It has been a long time since I last blogged. My schedule is so tightly packed with emerge coming up and etc, the call ups in church, the crazy making sure everything is arranged, the discipleship and so forth. It is not easy in this journey of clustering, I am sure Clement, Nickey, Si Xuan, Joel, Jenny, Bobby and Siew Min would agree with me (LOL). Nonetheless, one thing I realized this morning as I was doing my devotion, that all these things have brought me to a new phase of life that I never thought I would have entered. At least that is what I feel now. I am no longer the same person as when I first started with the cluster. I just feel different inside out. Emerge fever is kicking in! So are you ready to emerge? WE dare YOU! yaaa!!


As human, I get tired too especially this season, but my refreshing and renewing of strength comes from seeking the One above every morning. With God, the whole day usually runs in order. This season is truly a good training ground for me as Shirley said. If the cluster leaders can learn to lead these big groups of people, we can lead a subzone one day. Yea! I am visualizing that now. =D I always wonder how Shirley did it. Now, I know it is not easy. All the more this process of leadership makes me appreciate my leaders more. With 200 people under my cluster, not my subzone, whose pastoral issue I needn’t have to worry about because they have their own cell leaders, I am already feeling that it demands a lot from me. What more for Shirley and pastor.…leading more than 200 people!!! And inside there are so many pastoral issues that they have to personally deal with….they’re amazing!

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went to Passion Conference last Sunday night. Honestly I was really tired, whole day being in church for all the competitions cheering and so forth. But, the conference was totally awesome.

Chris Tomlin’s worship on Sunday night had ministered to thousands (4 thousand attended the conference that night). Will the problems and storms in your life stop you from singing to God? The truth is, the overwhelming joy and confidence of victory in God only increase your desire to worship the ONE TRUE GOD all the days of your lives. Nothing can replace that, not even the deepest darkest problems. Not stress, not what people talk about you behind you….But if we allow these petty problems to stop us from singing, then God is not the ONLY One we worship nor the FIRST in our lives.

Many of us cried so much last Sunday night. The presence of God was really strong. Especially when Chris Tomlin sang…man…it was portrayed inside out that he is truly a man of God. The anointing he carried is indescribable. The atmosphere was just so full the spirit that people just naturally have visions and are restored and healed and refreshed. My mindset was that preaching of the Word can only have such a strong effect. No doubt worship can too, but it just didn't occur to me that I can experience it other than only knowing by fact. In Passion conference, not only me, but many others were ministered at the same time. Passion conference was all about being passionate for Christ. About outreach for Christian, about Christ for the non believers.

A lot of time we hear people saying, our country, our campus, our marketplace, they are all our responsibilities. Yes truly we know that. But how many of us will actually claim the city for Christ? How many of us will say, yes God I will be the salt of the earth and make You famous…then really stepping out and doing it. Or rather, we are those who at that moment of time, we were touched, so we said yes…after that, we doubt or we were too lazy to step out to do it even.

“Too radical” some would say…or maybe… “It is not my calling!”…. “I do not have the time!”….I believe all of us at some point of lives or maybe until this very day still saying this. The truth is we do not need thunder, fireballs falling from the sky and God’s audible voice to tell us that reaching out and crossing over to bring the gap closer between the living and the dead is our calling. THIS IS THE HEARBEAT OF GOD. A true Christian will know that what God desires all of us to do at the end of the day, is really mission. His desire is to restore the whole world back to their original purpose, that is to believe in Christ and be reconciled again with Him. Then what is with the denial of the responsibilities we have in Christ? I would personally say…fear….fear of not being able to do it, fear of nothing happen, fear that we might not be the one, fear that we are not good enough, fear of being criticized, fear of looking like a “holy” person, fear of investing time, fear of commitment, etc….Yes, and I am no exclusion from all these claims. 

Outreach, was the greatest thing that God has implanted in my heart this very season of my life. I remember, when I was urged to lead an outreach in my campus, I turned away from God and rejected Him, claiming that I was too busy, suspecting that it may be only my imagination. Besides, I have too many assignments, exams, too busy to plan that. Second time when God called me, I said yes this time, but with many excuses of not being able to find a room, a good support to start this whole thing. Third time when I was urged, He said this: If you don’t want to take this up, I can call somebody else. It doesn’t have to be you!

Immediately I realized how disobedient I have been, and take up the call. There and then when I decided and started planning, God showed me the possibilities of making it happen, a place to gather, the right people to support. I really do not want to miss out in what God can use my life to be part of. The week after that, few of us just gathered behind a classroom and we began praying and interceding for our campus. And the meeting stands till this very day. However, honestly, I have been discouraged big time by this outreach. I told God this:  You asked me to start an outreach, but there is no planning or ideas to go with it. What are we to do next other than praying? And still only 5 of us? How can we make any difference? It has been so long, and we are still here. It doesn’t seem like we are progressing at all. What am I suppose to do? Are we healthy spiritually? Did I hear You wrongly? Or is it I have done something wrong that I could not hear what You want me to do?

Well, this doesn’t seem biblically right I know, LOL but hey…I am human too. I know God works according to His own time, but I was desperate for something to happen.

I have been trying to twist God’s arm, wanting Him to make things happen according to my time! My way of seeing the move of God, is through the results. God’s way of moving is through mysterious ways that men cannot possibly understand. In fact this is the word that God has put in my heart since the beginning of this year…that it is not the result He is concerned about but the quality of my relationship with Him...And it just hit me that He is preparing me for this season. In Passion Conference, God asked me one question that I will never forget: Child, the outreach is not ONLY for you to reach out, but the outreach is also for you to build your trust toward Me. Will you continue waiting and keep on keeping on even when I do not move for one year, two years, five years? Or will you just stop doing everything? Will you keep on having faith in me even when all else seem hopeless and impossible and people are mocking you? The choice is yours. That night, God put in my heart two pictures to meditate on:

One of it that i find biblically significant and encouraging was this:

Jesus, leading us through the woods. Quietly, we followed behind, not uttering a word. He walked on the water. We all halted our steps not wanting to step in, being afraid. We all know the story of Peter, but we were not brave enough without the hands of God with us. Jesus turned around, reached out his hand, held ours…and said: Come…at that moment of time, we are in the midst of decision whether to step in or to say, "its ok! we are fine on dry ground." In the end we did...His grip was so secure that I personally just trusted Him. And then as I walked out I put out my hand for another person at the edge of the island uttering the same word, "COme!", and he step in too, then that person do the same to another, then another…then another…and the whole sea, was filled with people walking on the water with Christ taking lead.


As Christ has done for us, we did the same to others…that we may all cross over to the promised land and nobody is left behind. And people just follow and become Christlike. But first it takes us to be Christlike before that happening. Imagine, who will trust us when we say "come!" if we do not carry the anointing and the image of Christ. At the end of the day, the glory all goes back to Him. We are just a vessel. But we have to be willing to turn around and say "Come" before we are able to be a vessel. And even before we turn around to ask others to come, we must be the one who step into the water first! It is living a life of example! Wow...

 And it began to sink in my mind, that my family, my friends, my campus, my city, my country, my world….is truly my responsibility. And to impact the world, I have to start with the people I have first. I was in a mode of amazement, looking at the picture of Kuala Lumpur. Compassion and growing fire unbelievably began to overflow from within. And as I closed my eyes and worship I decided there and then that I will not allow disappointments to tear down this vision in my heart. No matter what it takes, I CHOOSE and DECIDE that I will not allow it to affect me.

To HUC ambassadors of Christ, let us all pray for our campus. Will we walk strong together united despite of denominations and cultures to make Christ famous? It is truly the love of the people that will spark this desire within us and the unity among us. To reach out is not a specific calling for certain people, but it is for all of us to make disciples of all nation. To be a part of God's hearbeat is a choice. It doesn’t necessary have to be through joining the outreach movement, it can be just merely a decision of wanting to reach out. But the question is will we join together and intercede for our campus? Remember…Our appointed time is ALWAYS NOW!  

Let's do it!

And to all outreach members. Do not give up! Stay strong. Let's all be FRUITCAKES for Christ.


For greater things have yet to come,

And greater things are still to be done,

In this city…